This is a problem for some men. Every woman they’re attracted to turns out to be obsessed with superficial status. They’re driven purely by hypergamy. They’re incapable of loving a man; To their perception, men only exist to provide sex, attention, or resources.
It’s a brutal shift in perception: You grew up idealizing women as nurturing angels, expecting them to reward you if you treated them nicely. Then they didn’t reward you. Maybe every woman you’ve pursued has been repulsed by you or told you she only liked you as a friend. Maybe you got into a long-term relationship or a marriage, then she broke your heart when she left you for an asshole in a rock band or when she took everything from you in a divorce.
You got pissed at the world. Women had walked over you your whole life, then the one who finally gave you a chance wasn’t satisfied. You found out about female nature and how self-serving it is. Suddenly, every woman’s past rejection and mistreatment of you made sense. Every time she went for an asshole instead of a nice guy made sense.
Yeah, life’s cruel. Women can be cruel. Idealism can be a curse.
Here’s the truth:
People behave how you expect them to.
If you expect people to walk all over you, people will walk all over you.
If someone interacts with you like you’re worth getting to know, you’ll act that way too unless you have severe anxiety or low self-esteem.
If you’ve met someone who disliked you for no reason and expected you to be an asshole to them, then odds are, you’ve at least been tempted to be that asshole and put them in their place.
If you’re a woman who expects men to either be hot but emotionally unavailable jerkasses or boring, needy, and unpolarizing, your perception will filter men into those two categories. You’ll be incapable of having a healthy relationship with a well-balanced one. Well-balanced men go for well-balanced women. Men who view life in terms of transaction go for women who view life that way.
If you’re a man who expects women to be manipulative creatures driven purely by their want for alpha fux and beta bux, then the women you attract will be just so, because those are the only women who’ll tolerate you.
You’ll repel emotionally healthy, non-needy women because they won’t have the patience to deal with a misogynistic, needy man. You’ll rationalize their disinterest in you as them being hypergamous and driven purely by their quest for superficial beta attention and the Alpha Chad DNA you don’t have.
You’ll attract women who don’t respect you because you don’t even respect yourself. You expect to be treated like you’re beneath women. You expect to bargain with a woman for her affection instead of attracting her with your honest self. You expect sex to be dangled over you like a carrot instead of being an activity of mutual enthusiasm.
Question: What type of man thinks all women are manipulative and hypergamous?
Answer: The type of man who is that way himself. His identity comes from sex and his emotional wound of not getting what he thought women owed him earlier in life, not from healthy, actualized values.
In his “bluepill” phase, he idealizes women and bargains with his concept of them through acts of niceness. In his “redpill” phase, he devalues them and bargains with his concept of them through acts of disagreeableness.
In both phases, his god is the same: women. Get a damn hobby, dude. Go fishing or gaming or to the mall or some shit.
Expecting women to be demons is just as needy as expecting them to be angels. As much as redpill ideology preaches “don’t put the pussy on a pedestal”, it sure does that a lot.
Change your perceptions and develop your identity
In my early dating life, my standards were “isn’t ugly” and “gave me attention” because my identity was weak and undeveloped. Consequently, I’d go for girls who’d act in manipulative ways, lose interest in me, and give me a headache trying to win them over. These are the girls that redpill ideology loves to hate.
You know how I deal with those types now that my identity is more developed and I have standards for my interpersonal relationships?
I ignore them. I don’t do this consciously or as an attempt to assert social dominance over the stuck-up pretty girls. My brain just doesn’t attach meaning to girls who only have looks or sexuality to offer. They’re as much a part of the background as unremarkable, boring guys.
Because my identity is solid and developed, I have self-respect. My mind attaches meaning to girls who I can have a connection built on honesty and respect with, because that’s what I value above sex and status now. It filters out those who’d only want superficial attention from me, so I don’t deal with the headache of trying to win over an unreceptive girl anymore.
The truth about women is that they’re just as flawed and diverse as men are. Emotionally healthy women with values above sex and status exist. Their male counterparts exist too. You’re living a sad life if you can’t see that.
If you’re not connecting with anyone like that, it’s because your own values aren’t higher than sex, status, and your feelings. You can say they are, but your behavior says otherwise if you spend your free time overanalyzing women’s behavior on internet forums.
To know how to treat you, people first look at how you treat yourself, then at how you treat other people. You attract what you are.
Respectable people don’t associate with people who lack self-respect.
Ambitious people don’t associate with unambitious people.
People who behave with honesty and respect don’t associate with people who behave manipulatively and dishonestly.
Men who respect themselves don’t date self-disrespecting women or women who don’t respect men.
Women who respect themselves don’t date self-disrespecting or misogynistic men.
Before caring about someone else’s behavior, watch your own.
What does your behavior say about you?
Who does your behavior attract?