The following is a sample of Ghostbusting: Date online with maturity:
What about casual sex?
You can’t have sex without exchanging emotional energy. You can’t have sex without some level of attachment. Well, you can, but the sex would be as enjoyable as mopping a wet floor if so.
Different people have different values. Some people are fine having one night stands. Other people want to wait until they’re in a serious relationship before having sex (hopefully with the person they’re in a relationship with).
Whatever your values for sex are, their consequences are yours to deal with.
Just because someone’s physically attractive doesn’t mean they’ll be a good sexual partner. Emotional energy is what truly determines sexual compatibility.
If your energy is needy, objectifying, or self-serving, your sex life may be eventful, but it’ll suck the humanity out of you. People will regret hooking up with you. Your casual sex will be mediocre at best. You’ll pursue people for status, to build up a notch count, because your identity comes from being sexual, to cross something off a “fucket list”, or just because they’re near you, not for genuine sexual chemistry.
If your energy is honest, abundant, righteous, and giving, you may rarely have new partners, but your sex will be mediocre at worst. Your sex life will be built on honest communication, boundaries that are deeper than “yes means yes and no means no”, and on real sexual chemistry.
For those who want casual sex from dating apps, eliminating your neediness and cultivating honest energy are just as necessary as they are for dates.
In any case, don’t play games. Assume that if you can’t be honest about your intentions with someone, that’s not the right someone for you. Even if you successfully manipulate them into dating or hooking up with you, your relationship will be built on manipulation and dishonesty. If it lasts, it won’t get any better, barring a miracle.
If you want sex with someone, be direct and honest about it. Have the following boundaries:
- Only have sex with people you have mutual enthusiasm and honest communication with.
- Only have sex with people who respect your boundaries and whose boundaries you’re prepared to respect.
- Only have sex with people with whom you don’t have to play guessing games about consent and enthusiasm. If they’re unreceptive to your presence, don’t go for sex with them.
Behave responsibly about the consequences of any sexual decision you make.