Masculinity is attractive to women. It earns men’s respect. It’s essential for a man’s well-being and purpose.
Sadly, masculinity tends to be poorly defined for modern men, especially those indoctrinated by far-left ideology. At best, it’s a vague approximation of socially acceptable behaviors. At worst, it’s toxic and destructive.
Western society has a major problem of poorly defined masculinity and femininity. This lack of models for what a good man or woman should be leads to mental illness, destructive behavior, and an epidemic of fragile, constructed identity.
In response to this, I’ve created a model of 3 traits essential to masculinity inspired by Tanner Guzy’s Rugged/Refined/Rakish model of men’s fashion:
Violence: Physical power
Money: Socio-economic power
Dance: Spiritual power
This model is a starting point for guys who are unsure of what traits to develop to be more successful, confident, and attractive.
As a consequence of comfortable material living, plenty of modern men lack these traits. They’ve never given or taken a punch in their life, they’re professionally unstable, or they’re socially incompetent and their mission in life is to get other people to approve of them.
Most guys are lacking in one or two of these traits. Some have abundant social connections and career opportunities but little physical or emotional power. Some guys are beasts in the gym or on the field but terrible with money and socializing. Some guys are the life of the party but physically and financially dying.
Some guys are physically and financially powerful but terrible at entertaining. Some guys have their money and charisma in order, but could get beaten up by a 120-pound guy who’s only been working out for a month. Some guys are fit and invigorating to be around, but are one direct deposit from their parents away from sleeping on a friend’s couch.
To be the best man you can be, you must be strong in violence, money, and dance.
In the following 3 sections, I’ll provide a fictional example of men strong in one of these traits but weak in the other two, and tips for guys lacking in them.
Let’s get started.
Rick Sanchez is a selfish, sociopathic narcissist, but damn, he’s potent.
Unlike what you may have expected here, Rick isn’t built like an athlete and he channels his energy into science, not into physical pursuits. But he has physical presence and holds his own in hand-to-hand combat.
Rick doesn’t have a life purpose beyond impulsive gratification and again, he’s a selfish narcissist, so he’s weak in money and moderately strong in dance. He’s very strong in his potential for violence though. Anywhere he goes, he’s automatically the top dog. He’s always capable of bending the physical world in his favor.
Men who are heavily unbalanced in violence’s favor are the Toxic Alpha Male archetype. They’re the men who are physically imposing but lacking in character. They’re criminals or deviants at worst, and addicts or insecure high-testosterone Chads at best. They’re the guys who strut around telling people they don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks while secretly giving at least 37 fucks.
Some guys aren’t so acquainted with violence. The physical world terrifies them. If someone confronted them with violence, they’d curl up into a ball instead of fighting back. This character trait has dried more panties than laundry machines.
Men who are physically incompetent should at least get into weightlifting. Then they’ll learn to channel their anxieties and masculine energy into the physical world. No activity has a higher return of interest than throwing around some iron.
This thread is a more in-depth analysis of stress and how to properly channel it.
The next step is experiencing violence. It’s as simple as joining a martial arts gym or punching a heavy bag, or getting into an organized sport. Men NEED to be physically active to actualize their potential as a man.
If part of your identity comes from not being like ThOSe mEAtHeAd JoCKs, please slap yourself. You’re rationalizing your weakness as moral superiority, and that’s wrong.
Physical competence is a non-negotiable asset of a real man, but it needs to be balanced out with contribution to society.
The Crane brothers are refined in their dress, taste, and socio-economic status, but they’re physically incompetent and more status-seeking than fulfillment-seeking.
Frasier’s a bumbling nice guy in his relationships with women, and Niles is stuck in a marriage with a woman who doesn’t respect him while nursing a hidden crush on another woman for seasons on end. Not exactly respectable behavior.
In contrast, their father Martin is a rugged ex-cop who’s seen some shit. In my opinion, he’s a healthier example of masculinity than his sons, though like any man, he’s not without his flaws.
For those who haven’t seen Frasier (my all-time favourite show actually), here’s how a typical episode goes:
- Frasier seeks social status, a woman’s affection, or to help someone.
- Frasier overthinks the situation, Niles provides a reinforcing opinion on it, Martin tries to simplify it.
- Frasier gets involved in a web of lies that leads to the people involved losing respect for him. The whole situation could have been avoided if he behaved with honesty from the start.
In the real world, an abundance of socio-economic power with a lack of physical and spiritual power leads to exactly this: A life built on perpetual status-seeking by any means necessary.
On the flipside, the cure is obvious for men who are socio-economically weak: Go to work, move up in that work, make some friends.
Materially, this is straightforward: Provide a good or a service, exchange it for money. Familiarize yourself with people by sharing values and experiences with them. Be valuable to them by bringing something to the table. Have a purpose for your life that manifests itself in consistent work.
Spiritually, it’s more complex than that. Pursuit of socio-economic status is demonic when driven by greed, and righteous when driven by a higher value. That’s where dance comes in.
Chuck Bartowski is an amazing example of a man who starts out strong in dance but weak in violence and money, then gets stronger in the latter two as life tests him.
From the beginning, Chuck is a kindhearted, nice guy. He behaves how he does out of genuine righteousness; he’s not a Nice Guy who’s secretly resentful and using his “niceness” as a bargaining chip.
Before he becomes an asset for the CIA and NSA, this is his character-defining moment in the pilot:
As a component of masculinity, I define dance not as a physical dance, but as a dance with the spiritual world.
The spiritual world exists beyond the material; It consists of vibrations and purpose beneath superficiality.
Despite working a minimum-wage job and being inexperienced with physical violence, Chuck is heavily in touch with the spiritual world. He’s the top dog at his job without any tactics of dominance or intimidation, he’s attractive to women despite his initial lack of confidence in dating, and when he gains a mission in life, he stands by higher values no matter what.
My advice to men who are spiritually weak: Spend time alone. Learn who you are without social status, the material world, and people to impress. Let go of socially constructed stories and look at nature’s design for the human world. Sacrifice that which you don’t really give a shit about.
Sadly, many guys buy into socially constructed stories about what a man should be instead of bowing to nature’s design.
Dance isn’t a straightforward competence to master, but it’s just as important as violence and money. When a man masters dance and gets in touch with the spiritual world:
- His interactions with women and other men become natural and invigorating instead of transactional and empty.
- He moves up social hierarchies through virtue and higher purpose, not just through physical force or socio-economic power.
- He loves himself for who he is, not for being what others expect of him.
You can easily tell apart guys strong in dance from those who aren’t. The strong ones move through life conscious of their actions and their repercussions. They have spiritual power in this world.
Those who are weak in it bargain with women for sex and relationships, they view work as a burden instead of as a responsibility, and life blindsides them every day as they struggle to figure it out logically instead of how it really works.
The world’s finest men are competent in violence, money, and dance. Most are weak in at least one of those areas, but they have the potential to improve. I hope this post serves as a starting point of guidance for those men.
On a biological level, all men know the value of these competences. On a societal level, their value is denied by ideologies and proven by experience.
Weak men are an epidemic of western society. Soyboys and wage-slave drones are mainstream society’s archetype of men, not nature’s design for them. Of course, all men are individuals. It’s not as simple as Real Men vs Those Dastardly Soyboys and Alpha Douches.
Whatever your quirks and interests as a man are, learn to accept the value of violence, money and dance.
Your biology, your mental health, and the people who are meant to be in your life will be grateful.