Getting around the downsides of a sober lifestyle

I like to party. I’m a high-energy person whose idea of a good time isn’t just sitting down and slowly sipping some alcohol. Chill, casual get-togethers with booze aren’t for me.

A drunk night’s appeal is more than the drinks. It’s fun company, removal of inhibitions, and hopefully getting up to some Project X shit, not just sitting around and getting drunk.

Image result for party guy
I’m basically this guy, except with more emotional baggage.

I prioritize consistent sobriety above drunken fun. I regularly go weeks and months on end without alcohol. I don’t party nearly as much as I used to.

Like any lifestyle choice, living without alcohol has its downsides:

  • You miss out on the full experience of bars and clubs.
  • If you’re an alcohol enthusiast, you don’t get to express that part of your identity.
  • You may be at a loss in growing your social life or in finding fun shit to do on weekends.

However, living WITH alcohol has more downsides than that.

For those who long for the drunk partying lifestyle but would rather have sober weekends than hungover ones, here’s how I get around that longing:

What the fuck am I missing out on anyway?

I’ll tell you what:

Pre-drinks, with or without friends.

Going somewhere packed with people.

More drinks.

Making drunk conversation with friends and randoms.

More drinks. Perhaps some dancing.

More drunk conversation with friends and randoms.

“Yo, I’m tired. Wanna head out?”

Then going home to get all comfy, have a few more drinks, and pass out.

Maybe I’d get some girl’s number then patiently wait for her to ghost me the next day.

Let’s not deny that a major reason many guys (and less strongly, some girls) go out is TO GET FUCKING LAID, BRO.

It used to be that way for me, but not anymore.

Once you’ve had good sober sex and experienced how bad drunk sex usually is, drunk sex stops looking so appealing.

Once you’ve defined your identity and gotten in touch with what you REALLY want from life, you gain more standards for a partner than “is cute” and “paid attention to me”. You don’t go out to potentially get laid as much as to have some fun and to let whatever happens happen.

No one gives a shit how good I am at mixing drinks

In my early drinking days, experimenting with alcohol/mixer combinations was fun. Then later in my drinking career, mixing drinks at parties and by myself was half the fun of drunk nights.

I drank a couple of these the night I decided to start distancing myself from drunken partying. The following day wasn’t fun.

Mixing drinks is an act of creation, not simply consumption. That’s why it’s so appealing to my type A personality.

And do you give a shit about that, anything else I have to say about my top 1% drink-mixing powers, or which drinks I enjoy and which ones I wouldn’t have unless I was desperate to get fucked up?

Probably not.

What the shit am I doing with my fucking life?

You know what I do to discourage myself from going out and buying some liquor on a Friday/Saturday night?

I watch videos of drunk people on YouTube. Really gets me thinking “yeah, I don’t want that to be me”.

Internally, alcohol’s initial dopamine rush is empowering, but externally, you look like a booze-fueled dumbass to sober people.

Sober people can tolerate drunk people, but they can’t connect with them or take their frame of reality more seriously than a 12-year-old’s. Only drunk people can truly enjoy other drunk people’s company.

When you stop investing so much energy into weekend partying, you free it up for more productive things:

  • Building up your lifestyle without alcohol.
  • Sober weekends.
  • Defining what you want outside of satisfying your primal desires.
  • Meeting people through shared activities, not through getting drunk together.

Unless you’re partying with real Gs, with close friends, or you get REALLY lucky, most drunk nights are the same shit every time. There’s little growth and plenty of decay in that.

Those supposed downsides aren’t actually that bad

I mean, there’s only 3!

Bars and clubs aren’t as fun, you don’t get to be creative with alcohol, and you have to take more initiative to build a social life, but that’s much better than the downsides of drinking every weekend:

  • Hungover days
  • Embarrassing drunk texts and memories
  • Cellular decay and off-set hormonal balance
  • Cognitive impairment that persists beyond a noticeable hangover
  • Higher risk of property damage
  • Money expended on booze, cover charges, and Uber/taxi rides

You’re allowed to enjoy weekend partying with or without alcohol. No one would do it if it wasn’t fun.

But what’s that lifestyle really giving back to you?


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