When I was a student in Ottawa, I knew the Rideau Street McDonald’s for the same reasons anyone did:
1. Being a wretched hive of scum and low-class behavior.
2. Being a popular 24-hour food stop for drunk students after some weekend partying.
One night, I tried picking up a girl there.
I’d gone out by myself to practice my pickup because I was super bored, still in my PUA phase, and all my friends were out of town.
Most of the girls I talked to at the bars were unreceptive to me.
As for the one who WAS receptive, well, she was into me at first, but I ran out of lines and snappy responses, plus I had no idea that escalating with honesty was a thing.
I hadn’t kept a girl’s attention by closing time, and I still wanted a girl to go home with.
So I went to the Rideau McDonald’s. Not for the disgusting crimes against nature they’d call “food”, but because I knew I could find me a drunk party girl there.
I was buzzed, not anywhere close to being blackout drunk. I got in with a couple guys who were having a guys’ night out and who’d just broken up with their girlfriends and we had some tipsy fun high-fiving and fistbumping strangers.
Then I approached a girl. I don’t remember much of our conversation, except for this:
“I want food,” she was like.
Then I was like “I have food at my place.”
Fuck yeah, I’m so clever, she’s totally gonna want me now, I thought.
“Should I get a hamburger?” The girl wondered.
Why didn’t she get the hint?! (because girls don’t consciously want to have sex with guys, obviously)
“I have food at home though,” maybe my line would work that time, right? (2017 Ben Foth, you sure had a way with the ladies!)
My line didn’t work. I went home by myself after the guys I was talking with peaced out. And the girl had hooked up with a drug dealer in the McDonald’s bathroom before I tried covertly convincing her to come home with me, so you can tell she was wife material.
Can you tell what my major mistake was that night?
It wasn’t anything I said or did…
It wasn’t trying to pick up a girl at the fucking Rideau McDonald’s of all places…
It was my expectations!
No, I don’t mean wanting to take a girl home was asking too much. I was and still am a guy with needs.
I expected to convince a girl to come home with me USING MY SCRIPTED LINES, not because of our holistic selves. That’s where I fucked up.
You can have the most fun, dynamic, clever game in the world, and it won’t make a girl who isn’t attracted to your holistic self want to get intimate with you.
The one girl who WAS receptive to me that night, I think her name was Ashley or some shit, approached me, and if I wasn’t so attached to my lines and tactics, I could have taken her to my place for what probably would have been some mediocre drunk sex.
But no, whenever Ashley said something, I JUST HAD TO respond with something clever but scripted. I didn’t break the touch barrier because I was afraid of losing power over the interaction. In the end, my analysis paralysis turned her off.
Protip for the guys: If you feel in your gut that she wants you to make a move, that’s likely the case. Energy never lies. Don’t worry about making her uncomfortable. That’s some pussy shit.
I don’t regret fucking up with the girl likely named Ashley. She was alright-looking, but she was a smoker and that’s a deal-breaker for me now, even for a casual fuck.
As for the girl I met at the McDonald’s, I don’t remember her name. She had a nice body, but her energy and receptivity to me were lacking. I couldn’t have convinced her to go home with me no matter what I said or did, and that was for the best.
I should have gone for a girl more like Ashley (minus the smoking), who was attracted to me before even talking to me.
Eventually, I learned how to spot these girls and filter out those who wouldn’t be receptive to me no matter what. This has simplified my dating life like nothing else has.
Then you’ll be spotting the Ashleys right from the start, and keeping that attraction strong instead of killing it with analysis paralysis like I did that night.
Anyhoo, stay tuned for more dating stories and self-promotion.