Unlock Her Cray Cray: Be The Man Women Admire

I wrote a thread today about three types of men and how they treat women: Simps, Redpill guys, and THE MAN.

This is one way to put the three stages most men go through in developing their dating life.

1. Blindness

In this stage, a man is immature. To him, women are socially omnipotent goddesses who can do no wrong. Someday, he’ll meet the right woman for him and she’ll make him the happiest man alive.

Here, the man is inexperienced with women (obviously) or even with the world at large.

To attract women, he follows a false idealization of virtue and love. He tends to idealize women who are more “Madonna” than “whore”, and his priority with them is UNION.

To him, sex is an act of transcendence from boyhood to manhood. When a woman chooses him as a sexual partner, it’s an honor for him to finally get laid and have a sexual experience that isn’t just a fantasy.

The man gets more hurt by women here than he does in the other two stages, as his attachment to them shapes his perception of the world. Spiritually, he is unfit to lead them. He’s feminine in his readiness to devote himself to one.

This stage typically ends when a man’s had one of his first few major heartbreaks or disappointments with a woman. Then, he realizes that everything he used to think about women may not be true, and that he needs to improve himself to get the women he wants. Intellectual curiosity takes over.

For some men, this stage never ends. They idealize woman after woman, never growing or learning anything from their pain. You can call them simps.

2. Analysis

In this stage, a man is maturing but far from mastery. To him, women are puzzles to be figured out, clusters of estradiol-fueled cells to be poked and prodded at (preferably with his cock), creatures of nature to be observed as if he’s that British fucker who makes all those nature documentaries, I forget his name.

David Attenborough. That’s his name.

In the Analysis stage, the man’s priority is GAINING EXPERIENCE with women. He does this through reading theory, and through meeting and approaching an abundance of women to learn what makes them tick.

To attract women, he follows formula, then refines it as he gains more and more experience. 

He tends to idealize women who embody the “whore” side of the Madonna/whore complex, as he’s not ready to settle down with just one woman. He wants to try them all to see what he likes and doesn’t like in them.

To him, sex is an act of conquest. When a woman chooses him as a sexual partner, it’s because he won the game of seduction. His tactics and persona worked. He played the right kind of game. She saw him as high-status and exciting, so she was naturally turned on by him.

In this stage, a man is more secure around women than ever before, but his model of sexual relations still revolves around winning them over.

In my experience, most men don’t get out of this stage until they’re older adults, until they’ve been around, seen a lot, and formed better models of the world and better value hierarchies within themselves. I personally did so in my early 20s. Some guys can do it in their teens.

Most dating coaches and other men in the manosphere/redpill/seduction/self-improvement community are perpetually stuck in this stage, and they like it that way.

This stage gives men power (and often, the illusion of it) in the dating world, it stimulates their intellectual curiosity, and it gets them off their asses putting work into themselves and learning things about the world, but its returns plateau eventually.

For a dating life that’s more than a horniness-driven science experiment, men must transcend this stage of development and become more in tune with feelings than with facts.

3. Connection with nature

In this stage, a man both consciously and unconsciously “gets” what makes men and women tick.

He doesn’t only understand the theory, he LIVES IT. He’s THE MAN the theory-embodying guys seek to emulate. He has no need to intellectualize his seduction.

The simp hopes to attract women with devotion.

The intellectual hopes to attract women through posing and indirect bargaining.

The nature-embodying man knows that sexual polarity is enough, so he doesn’t overthink things.

To attract women, he follows HIMSELF. Actualizing his vision for how his life should be takes major priority over seduction. He gets some validation from being with women, but much more of it from his self-actualization (which MASSIVELY reduces his neediness around women). To complement himself, he wants women who are BOTH whore and Madonna.

Blind, man is only a provider. Analyzing, he is only a conqueror.

Connected with nature, he is a CREATOR. He doesn’t simply know the right ways to move through the world, he SHAPES IT. He doesn’t simply know the right ways to get women into him, he’s THE MAN that healthy, integrated ones are strongly drawn to.

The nature-embodying man’s priority with women is SHARING LIFE. He does this through embodying his ideals and uniting them with reality. When a woman chooses him as a sexual partner, it’s after he chooses her.

This man has an iron grip on his energy. He transmutes it into creation and cultivation, and it draws quality women to him like a magnet, more so than any affectation or seduction tactic can.

To this man, sex is an exchange of energy. It’s not something he wins from a woman or takes from her. It’s a bonding experience in which he leads her. His pleasure is her pleasure.

He doesn’t just pursue a mission to have something to do when he isn’t obsessing over women. He IS the living embodiment of the virtues and principles behind his mission. No woman can give him more validation or more of a sense of self than his life purposes do.

Because of this self-direction, he meets and entertains fewer women than the theory-driven man does, but the women he does attract are higher-quality and more ready to follow his will than most other men’s women are.

This is the man who simps and whores hate, and who growing men and beautiful women aspire to be and be with.

Many men never reach this stage of development, either because they don’t know it exists, or because they assume it’s only for “naturals” with certain genes who’ve been Gs with women since hitting puberty.

WRONG.

Any man is capable of building his understanding of women to this degree, and being the nature-driven man the best ones crave.

The only things stopping him are an unwillingness to do the work, to challenge his beliefs and internal schemas, to let go of his attachment to philosophy, and to really become flesh-and-blood.

I’m at the nature-driven stage of manhood myself, and lemme tell ya, no sexual conquest can compare to the feeling of being THE MAN with or without a woman.

I can teach you how to transcend what’s holding you back and get up here too.

Are you in?

Catch you later,

– Ben

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