As a dating coach, I don’t entirely agree with the PUAs’ methods:
* Approaching many women a day without discernment
* Giving those women canned, scripted lines
* Being needy while pretending they aren’t
* Being unwilling to walk away from a woman who doesn’t work for them
* Trying to win her over instead of assuming she’s already won over
But at least they’re doing the damn thing.
At least they’re getting out there and…
For this reason alone, PUAs get a certain respect from me, even if my methods are better.
Do you know how many guys’ dating experience is absolute shite even if they’re otherwise interesting guys who have decent status and looks?
That’s because they don’t take responsibility for their success. They don’t go for the girls they REALLY want, preferring to settle for ones “in their league” (bullshit idea, leagues aren’t real) or for whichever ones make the first move on them (and we all know how much girls LOVE making the first move).
A beautiful girl would sooner give a chance to the PUA guy who’s got the moxie to say hi to her and throw his game at her, than to the genuine high-quality guy who can’t properly express his want for her, who feels like he doesn’t deserve her.
Boldness is sexy and pretty girls love it. (as long as it’s socially calibrated, of course)
Sometimes, just the fact that you acted on your attraction to a girl will turn her on and get her invested in you.
I personally would sooner take dating advice from a polarizing PUA with holes in his lifestyle who approaches 50 girls a day because he feels like he deserves a great one, than from a well-off, well-rounded “good guy” who doesn’t feel like he deserves more than an average girl.
The PUAs may be misguided in some ways, but the one thing they invariably get right, that higher-quality guys often don’t, is that ACTION BEATS INACTION.
I cringe when I watch daygame videos on Youtube. Those daygame guys usually don’t get the whole picture. They think they’re in control of larger social systems when they really aren’t. They sometimes think hiding their attraction to a girl is less needy than being honest about it.
Even if they’re misguided, at least they’re doing the damn thing.
And I respect them for that.
But for a high-quality dating life, that’s not enough
Your life will bend to the standards you have for it.
If you’re broke and your standard for yourself is to do the bare minimum of work to get by, you will stay broke. If your standard is to consistently do work with high returns, you will eventually not be so broke.
If you’re out of shape and your standard for yourself is to shy away from exercise and eating well, you will stay an ugly fuck. If your standard is to put in the reps day after day and eat quality food while avoiding processed bullshit, you will get sexier.
Some guys fail in dating because they apply certain standards to the girls they want but not to themselves.
Sadly for these guys, there’s no high-quality girl out there who’s willing to settle for a low-quality guy.
You can’t be a fatass with no muscle, who dresses like shit, and doesn’t have a decent income or lifestyle, and expect to have a girlfriend who takes care of herself.
High-value girls simply can’t respect low-value guys. And without respect, there’s no attraction.
Other guys fail in dating because they apply certain standards to themselves but not to the girls they want.
Sadly for these guys, high-quality girls are turned off by their lack of deservedness, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember, women are a mirror to men. If the man feels like he doesn’t deserve the woman, that sentiment will carry over into her.
You can be a fit, well-dressed, socially competent guy moving up in the world, but if you feel like you don’t deserve anything more than a mediocre fat chick, mediocre fat chicks are all you will get.
The same standards you apply to the girls you want must be applied to yourself.
Most PUAs end up with mediocre girls for this reason. They do a bunch of work on their game but not on their holistic self, then the only girls who like it are similarly fake, mediocre ones.
But some PUAs (and guys who like to cold approach in general) end up with higher-quality girls because they DID THE PROPER WORK ON THEMSELVES. They attract quality because they ARE quality.
Some guys, not just PUAs, looking to get better in their dating life end up with girls of real quality because their life got bent to their high standards.
They decide not to settle for the mediocre and to accept nothing but that which makes them feel more alive.
In their pursuit of quality girls, they naturally forge themselves into quality guys. Because otherwise, their genetic material wouldn’t get to reproduce properly. It’s a SURVIVAL thing, which I find absolutely beautiful.
Maybe you’ve read the PUA stuff and seen some videos but it’s not quite how you want to go about things.
That’s fair! Different methods work for different guys!
Let’s figure out which ones work best for you!
Catch you later,