Positioning – the second fundamental of attraction (part 1: your status, lifestyle, and social circle)

After optimizing your body’s chemistry, you must find yourself a place in the world in which you can move up and meet women.

While biochemistry determines how objectively attractive you are or aren’t, positioning is more subjective.

Optimal biochemistry improves your attractiveness ANYWHERE and with it, you can “afford” girls with better biochemistry, but positioning is very context-dependent and like the other two fundamentals, will make or break your dating life.

You can be an absolute catch both physically and psychologically, but if your positioning is off, you will meet very few girls you’d enjoy or who’d enjoy you. You’ll capitalize on very few opportunities in that domain.

Positioning is all about the space in this world you occupy. What’s in proximity to you. What you have access to.

It consists of these things:

  • Your status/position in society
  • Your lifestyle and social circle
  • Your game

I have a lot to say about game, so I’m splitting this post into two parts. Part 1 will be about your status, lifestyle, and social circle. Part 2 will be entirely about game.

Why women love status

Status equals ability to provide, which makes a woman feel secure. That feeling of security is very important in making a woman want to be around you.

High-status men get treated better and treat other people better than low-status men. They’re likely to be dynamic and unpredictable, especially if they’re high-status outside of conventional social hierarchies.

High-status men attract and seek out opportunities for success, while low-status men sit idly and are stuck going through the motions. Low-status men are likely to be boring, mundane, predictable (MAJOR attraction killer), and dime-a-dozen.

How To Talk To “High-Status” People - Shrink For The Shy Guy

The better position you have in society, the more resources you likely have (money, material things, social connections, opportunities for adventure). The less energy the woman has to expend on providing for herself when you’re together, and the more she can put into her natural feminine role of support, life-bringing, and nurturing.

When social status and material provision are all a man has to offer, women will use him for those but not love him. But it’s a powerful attraction-builder when combined with the other aspects of positioning and the other two fundamentals.

Like biochemistry, status is a form of preselection. When other people hold you in high regard, women will wonder “why are they treating that guy so well? Why are they all so enthusiastic about coming to the gatherings he hosts?” And your first impression on them will be favorable.

In the short-term, early stages of meeting a woman, your social status works mainly to preselect you and make her more open to getting to know you. In the later stages of being intimate with her, it preserves her sense of security with you as her socially accepted long-term option.

Guys who are a catch but lack overt status and the looks of a “hot guy” archetype can make a good impression on new women, but it takes a while for the women to overtly warm up to them. Image is far from everything, but it’s still very important to women’s hypergamous natures. They don’t want to be openly associated with (even otherwise attractive) men who’d lower their social standing, especially not in a sexual way.

If a man is low-status in the social world but attractive in body and spirit, women may hook up with him but still not want to be out in the world with him.

So gents, to be an optimal catch, find yourselves high positions in the world. You do that through building up your…

Lifestyle and social circle

These are very closely linked to your social status.

They aren’t only preselection factors – They’re your best means of meeting women in the first place. It’s obvious why – I don’t have to say much about it.

Multiracial group of young people taking selfie | Free Photo
Oh look, it’s a bunch of not-ugly-but-also-not-too-attractive generic late-20s-early-30s people being all social and shit

People know other people.

It’s easy to get to know someone new when you already have a mutual friend or a mutual experience as common ground.

However, your lifestyle and social circle are liabilities when they’re disconnected from your higher values. It’s unlikely that you’ll meet girls who you share enthusiasm with if so.

If you want a girl who’s healthy, wholesome, and in shape, but you black out on liquor and weed every weekend and don’t go to the gym, then you aren’t on those girls’ level. They won’t be interested in you no matter what game you pull. Having a healthy, wholesome, fit lifestyle yourself will drastically increase your chances with that demographic.

If you want a girl who parties and has fun with a wild social circle, but you’re an introverted bookworm who never drinks and never gets out, it’s almost impossible for you to get a girl in the “party girl” demographic. The overt alignment of values just isn’t there.

If your passion is fitness but you don’t involve yourself in social circles that get up to athletic things, of course you’ll rarely meet girls you’re enthusiastic about.

If your passion is art and you want a similarly artsy girl, then leaving that passion out of your lifestyle will ensure that your dating life is shit.

If you consistently choose people and experiences that are misaligned with your ideals, then something about your psychological world is askew. Keep reading this series to learn more about psychology.

The more you align your lifestyle and your social circle with your ideals, the more likely you will meet and attract girls who fit those ideals. I mean, duh, were you expecting anything else?

The same standards you apply to the women you want must also be applied to you.

Want healthy, fit women? Be healthy and fit yourself.

Want confident, high-status women? Be confident and high-status yourself.

Want a highly feminine woman? Be highly masculine.

Overall, your lifestyle and social circle are the best preselection factors you can have. They visually and energetically demonstrate your true value as a man beyond your looks, and every girl wants a guy who can enhance her position in the world. Women attach themselves to men because of that.

However, preselection only creates girl-getting opportunities for you. You still need game to capitalize on them.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: