Fame doesn’t guarantee you a solid relationship.
He found out that his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, had an affair with August Alsina while temporarily separated from him.
I watched their Red Table Talk (linked above), and here’s my analysis of that whole situation:
The trap of idealization
Will Smith, from what I can tell, is a pretty stand-up guy.
So why did Jada go shopping for another man to get dicked by? (or in her words, go on a break that lead to an “entanglement”)
Will embraced his higher ideals while ignoring lower impulses.
And that’s a pretty common story for guys who just want to do some good in the world.
Dude finally finds the woman for him, the future mother of his children, the one he’ll love forever.
Everything goes smoothly…
Then this shit happens. She tells him she needs a break (which really means “I’m not loyal to you and I want to hop on another dick”), or she just straight-up cheats behind his back.
As much as some of us like to believe in ideal love where our partner can do no wrong, that’s impossible.
We can’t erase our lower impulses.
In Jada’s case, hers was acquiring more “Alpha” genetic material.
Will Smith may be an “Alpha” (I use the term loosely, as most men aren’t entirely Alpha or Beta) in terms of his positioning, but in terms of psychology, he’s pretty Beta with women (from what I can tell).
My advice to Will, or any guy who’s had a cheating girlfriend/wife, or is scared of being cheated on would be:
Embrace YOUR lower impulses, but transmute them into constructive things.
If you want a solid, virtuous relationship with a woman, you need to build it on BOTH your lower, primal impulses AND your higher ideals.
Even if both you and your woman are staying virgins till marriage and you go to church every Sunday, you still need to integrate your lower, primal side.
Otherwise, at least one of you will end up seeking out a partner who does have those impulses integrated. You can’t hide from your human nature.
Men naturally want to have power over and impregnate an abundance of women. They want to intertwine their genes with those of multiple attractive women.
Women naturally want to submit to and be impregnated by the highest-value man in their proximity. They want his genes and his genes only to reproduce. Lower-value men are merely utilities to women, not sexual options.
Did that make your skin crawl?
If it makes you feel any better, that’s only part of the whole picture.
In a sexual relationship, you can and should transcend your base impulses.
But not before satisfying them.
Or else your relationship will end up like Will and Jada’s. Look how broken Will looks in their Red Table Talk!
Here’s the harsh truth:
Most modern men don’t have what it takes to attract and maintain a harem of women.
Most modern women have little to keep a man with beyond sex.
So a minority of men get multiple women, while other men either get none or just one (who settles for them when she realizes she can’t get a higher-value man, or because she’s ignorant to her own base nature)
Sad reality for some men, but there is a way around it.
Cultivate your own value in every domain, so you have few weaknesses in attracting and retaining women.
Will Smith had the fame and status to attract Jada with his provision, but not the psychological frame to keep her loyal to his raw value as a man. Because he had value in one domain but lacked it in another, Jada tried filling that void with another man who did have that raw masculine frame.
Your value as a man isn’t set in stone. There are always things you can do to increase it, so don’t sit around and bitch about how girls only want to date the cool guys, not the loser geeks. Instead, become one of the cool guys they want to be with!
Even if your goal is a healthy, committed relationship with one awesome woman, you still need to cultivate and live in your POTENTIAL to attract and retain other women.
Women will work hard to maintain a good relationship with you when they know you’re perfectly capable of leaving them for other quality options.
Putting ideal love BEFORE sexual competition is putting the cart before the horse.
And that’s how Will fucked up with Jada. He idealized a woman who mainly wanted him for provision, not raw sexual passion.
He’s a good-looking, wealthy guy with celebrity status. And he’s getting hung up on a woman who isn’t loyal to him.
Does he even know his worth?
So gents, it’s perfectly normal to want an amazing relationship with an amazing woman.
But remember: Love from a woman comes AFTER her respect for you and submission to you, not before it. The foundation of a sexual relationship is your masculine/feminine polarity and the exchange of raw value, then when your primal impulses are satisfied or at least kept in check, all the cutesy lovey dovey “ride or die” stuff can come.
Your primal impulses aren’t all bad. Ignoring them does more damage than acknowledging them. They’re useful in a relationship. A man can attract an abundance of women, then choose the one who fits him the best. A woman can go for a man who’s of moderate value, then cheer him on as he becomes a better man.
And if you’re having trouble getting acquainted with your darker, lower impulses, or even your higher, lighter, more righteous ones…
Work with me, and we’ll get those sides of you integrated. Your relationships with women will be built on raw, primal sexual attraction AND a desire to see each other grow and flourish, not just one or the other.