When does daygame really work?

Have you seen all these videos of guys walking up to girls on the street, opening them, chatting with them, and getting their numbers?

(If you haven’t, search “daygame” on Youtube. You’ll see what I mean)

Seems cool, right? It’s an efficient way to get girls, right?

Not really.

Here’s the truth – Almost all of those girls are flakes in the end. 

You see them chatting and laughing with those guys and giving their numbers out, so you may assume the guys are getting the sex and dates they want, and that they’re worth emulating.


Keeping up appearances

A lot of the time, women will chat with you, laugh at your clever comments, and even give you their number (after you asked for it) out of pure politeness, not because they want your cray cray.

When a woman doesn’t directly reject you, it’s not a personal attack. Very few women are comfortable rejecting a guy straight-up with their words.

Most prefer indirect rejection – going cold or flaking or making some bullshit excuse not to proceed with you.
They’ll even stay in and contribute to a conversation they’re not interested in out of politeness.

This might frustrate you. Why not just reject you straight-up and save your time?

Keep in mind – it’s because SHE’S uncomfortable with rejecting you. Rejection isn’t fun for either party. Think about the last time YOU had to reject someone you didn’t want to talk to. You weren’t filled with joy at the idea of it. You probably wanted to let them down easily, subtly, and gently, without drawing attention to the fact that you were rejecting them.

It’s not about your value as a man. It’s about her feelings as a woman. Don’t sweat it.

Women are smarter than you may think

Look, unless she’s super innocent or she’s lived under a rock her whole life, she knows why you’re talking to her. She knows why you’re pulling the game you’re pulling.

You may THINK the clever lines and tactics you’re pulling are somehow manipulating her unconscious attraction triggers or some shit, but no. Only super-naive girls will fall for those tricks.

A more observant girl can enjoy your game, but that’s not what’ll really win her over.

In fact, a girl makes her final decision about whether she’d sleep with you in the first 6.5 seconds of knowing you, consciously or not. This is dependent on your HOLISTIC SELF. The girl unconsciously picks up on every aspect of your being and lets that make her decision about you.

After this, it’s only a matter of either escalating that attraction or polarizing her away.

PUA/daygame dudes fuck up when they assume game is what gets her interested. Remember principle 5 of my ebook? (which you’ll get when you subscribe to my newsletter)

Also, do you know the observer effect in physics? Where something’s quantum state or some bullshit changes if someone’s observing it?

The same thing happens when guys film these daygame sessions. That’s why you most likely won’t ever find me making daygame videos, even if I’ve had guys request them from me. I’ll talk more about this in the next section.

Women are highly sensitive to energy and subcommunication.

You may THINK you’re being subtle when you’re filming yourself talking to her, but she’ll pick up on VEEEERY miniscule cues in your behavior and know something’s up.

So to keep up appearances and not seem like a bitch, she may ACT interested in you, but not actually be.

You gotta learn to differentiate the girls who only talk to you out of politeness vs the ones who are actually into you. That’s something I teach in my coaching.

How can I make daygame work for me?

This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s a huge energy-saver:

Do LESS approaches, not more.

You want to be a sniper, not a scattershot.

Because again, girls aren’t stupid. If she’s just a routine approach to you, a routine approach is all she’ll feel like. And she won’t like that.

How would you feel if a girl approached you on the street, ran her game, and got your number, then did exactly the same thing with another guy 2 minutes later?

You’d feel like she was just using you, of course! If you have any self-respect, you’d let her go.

That’s why you gotta be SELECTIVE about the girls you approach. I personally only do 1-3 approaches a week, if any.

I value my time and attention. By giving them away easily, you cheapen them. The more girls you give your attention to, the less valuable your attention becomes.

If I approached every girl I was “maybe” about, I probably could get some lays out of it, but would shooting beneath what really makes me feel alive really be worth it?


“Fuck yes” or “no”. If I’m not “fuck yes” about a girl, I don’t proceed with her.

That’s why I never go out with the primary goal of approaching girls. Not only is it time-consuming; the returns would be minimal. I’m “fuck yes” about veeeery few girls I see on the street.

So I INVEST my energy instead of spending it.

I always have routine or self-developing activities planned for myself – ex. shopping, sunbathing, getting work done on my laptop at a coffee shop.

Then as I’m going about my life, if I see a girl who strikes my fancy, I’ll say hi and see what happens. These approaches are always random, not planned with the goal of hitting x amount of approaches in y time, which is another reason why I don’t film them.

Now for the part you’ve been waiting for – when DOES daygame work?

Occasionally, a daygamer will get lucky. He’ll chat up a girl, she’ll be receptive from the start, and they’ll end up sleeping together.

This usually happens because she was bored and horny, then further turned on by the guy’s boldness. She would have taken a casual encounter from any decently attractive guy who’s about her type and who was bold enough to chat her up.

Or maybe something clicked between them.

Maybe they just happened to have common psychological ground beneath the surface superficialities, and that caused their chemistry.

This is exciting but rare – when you just happen to approach a girl who’s a great fit for you.

Pickup guys think – In theory, if you chat up 100 girls, at least one of them will have sex with you, right?

That’s a bad way of looking at it, because like I said before, it frames your attention as cheap.

Instead, try this to maximize your daygame results:

Purpose and positioning

Women are turned on by men who are purposeful.

To them, seeing a man at work is like us seeing a woman dancing in lingerie.

You can make daygame work to your advantage by implementing it ALONGSIDE your day-to-day routine, not as part of it.

Remember what I said about being a sniper, not a scattershot. Your approaches should be about quality, not quantity. You’re best off approaching just one girl who REALLY strikes your fancy vs 50 who you’re “maybe” about.

When you keep yourself busy instead of chasing girls, the girls will notice you. They’re observant, constantly on the lookout for Mr. Right.

I’ve had girls chat me up or be receptive to me just because I was a regular at certain places, especially coffee shops. All I had to do was show up, get shit done on my laptop, and they’d notice me at work and naturally be curious.

I’m not making it easy for a girl to get my attention. Sure, I’ll freely give it if she’s cute and I may not ever see her again. But I’ll take it away just as freely.

This is where the fundamental of positioning comes in. Women are attracted to men who have advantageous positions over them and the other male competition, whether it’s in general or just in the moment.

It’s super easy to approach a girl and lose advantage in your positioning. You’re locked in a conversation with her and since she’s the more purposeful one (she’s doing what she’s doing and you’re just some random dude tryna get with her), what advantage would she have in associating with you? Hypergamy and all that jazz.

Again, the solution here is to have something to do besides approaching girls. So if the girl you approach isn’t into you, you can quickly let her go and get back to your activity. You won’t have anything to gain from sticking with her, so you’ll naturally default to doing something that does benefit you.

Anyhoo, I’ve said all I want to say here.

If you’re a gent who wants to refine his game with the ladies during the day, during the night, and whenever, work with me. Few people understand the dating world and all its nuances like I do.


– Ben

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2 thoughts on “When does daygame really work?

  1. I do daygame and the more I approach the more success I have. It is a numbers game and this is the truth. Most girls are not interested in me. But if I get a number, half of the time it doesn’t flake. Girls don’t care how many other girls you approached. To me, it seems like you have to much approach anxiety if you are honest with yourself.

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