Here’s a “nice guy” mistake you don’t want to make when you first start dating a woman…
Revealing too much, too fast.
Don’t do this.
Sadly, plenty of guys make this mistake. Their intentions are good – to connect with the lady and share themselves, but it absolutely KILLS attraction.
Don’t deny her the satisfaction of figuring you out
She wants the mystery. She wants to guess at what’s beneath your surface. She gets major satisfaction from trying to figure you out with her female intuition.
Women are more perceptive than you may think.
When she’s attracted to you, she’ll smell something on you and not always know what it is.
Don’t deny her the satisfaction of figuring you out.
Mystery is the greatest aphrodisiac.
What you don’t tell a woman is more powerful than what you do tell her.
Reveal some things about yourself, but keep others hidden (for now). Because here’s what really gets the girl into you – not anything you say, but how being around you makes her feel. Conversation builds familiarity, not attraction.
Instead of telling her every little thing about yourself (and ending up predictable and boring), let her talk. Let her share herself, and listen well.
“What a great conversationalist he is!” She’ll think, even if she was the one talking for most of it.
The fact that she went on the date with you in the first place usually means she felt something for you and acted on that feeling. If she really feels something for you, she’ll find reasons to keep herself around you. Don’t overdo things by assuming she isn’t already hooked, and constantly finding new things to share about yourself.
If you’re attractive to her and she’s comfortable around you, she’ll find reasons to like you and stay around you, no matter what you do.
Let HER create her own narrative of who you are to her. Don’t force that on her by revealing too much too fast.
Again, what you DON’T say is more powerful than what you DO say.
You can tell her “I work out”, or you can let her see your fit body while you talk about other things.
You can tell her “I really want you”, or you can let your eyes say it.
You can tell her about all the super cool things you do in your free time, or you can keep them under wraps and let her intuit that you do cool things. Don’t tell her why you’re so confident – let her guess about it.
Of course, you have to ACTUALLY BE DOING those cool things. Faking things won’t get you far, especially with the most observant ladies. If you just fake it and put up a “cool guy” facade, 1. The facade will end up falling apart, and 2. She won’t get the “he’s legit a cool guy” feeling from you in the first place.
Attractive girls are almost never just sitting around doing fuck all.
They’re out with their friends, in private parties, at the beach, dining out, building their booty at the gym, doing whatever attractive girls do.
They have lives. Do you?
To get them, you must be their male complement.
Why is mystery the greatest aphrodisiac?
It gives her something to expect, something to look forward to, something to figure out in her female mind.
When you lay your entire self out on the table from the start, there’s no novelty coming from you anymore. You become boring and predictable. You give yourself to her too easily. There’s nothing deeper to you that she has yet to discover. We don’t tend to value things that come to us way too easily.
And the uncertainty excites her, the tension that comes from there being parts of you left to explore excites her. You become an experience to look forward to, not a mundane repeat of something that’s already happened.
This makes you someone who has growth ahead of him in her eyes, not just a one-trick pony like the supplicant nice guys who want her to justify their existence, or the “alpha” players who want in her pants (also to justify their existence).
You’ll be dynamic and self-directed; the guy she’s REALLY turned on by, even though she may not always say it.
So gents, feel free to share yourselves on dates. That’s the whole damn point.
But remember that it’s not exactly about the words you share – It’s all about the exchange of emotions and energy. THAT will get her wanting more and more of you.