How to master your “inner game”

Typical “game” is behavior that positions you as a man of value in women’s (and social body’s) eyes.

That’s the external part of it – people see how you behave, and they form judgments of you based on that.

There’s an inner component too, that men’s dating advice rightfully puts in the spotlight.

Your confidence, your self-perception, your frame, the interesting pursuits that shape you as a man.

Guys who preach this stuff get the big idea – being a man of value, so I’m not here to hate on them. I’m just here to refine their ideas and tweak the little things they’re missing.

Don’t frame it as “game”

What really makes you an attractive man isn’t “game”. It’s WHO YOU ARE.

Framing your inner sense of self-worth as “game” dissociates it from YOU. It’s not you, it’s just an affectation, even if you’re not consciously aware of that distinction.

If you’re learning all this “inner game” stuff…

Why do you assume you’re not ALREADY enough?

Why do you assume you need to BECOME SOMEONE NEW instead of just properly leveraging everything that ALREADY MAKES YOU WORTHY?

Yes, learn to be outcome independent.

Learn about frame and how to strengthen yours.

Learn to care what you think of yourself above what other people think of you.

Get up to fun, interesting, exciting things that you love doing!

But remember…

Everything about you that’ll attract a worthy girl and a great social circle is already within you. It’s not about making yourself into someone different; It’s about digging through the bullshit and unearthing your masculine power.

If you’re not where you could be with all that jazz, it’s not because you haven’t learned the right social skills techniques or the right attraction philosophy yet.

It’s because you refuse to recognize the real extent of what you have to offer the world. Your self-image may be off. You may have limiting beliefs brought on by past hurtful experiences. You may not have had the necessary mentorship and guidance to understand your masculinity.

Because if you distill “inner game” down to its fundamentals, it’s all about…

Being more male

Masculinity is a force of creation and drive.

Why have men explored, charted, and conquered the world?

Because they’re men.

Why do men fight and compete and test each other?

Because they’re men.

Why do men enjoy building muscle and refining their athletic ability?

Because they’re men.

Why do men create buildings, streets, works of art, music, literature, poetry, societies, tools, and useful items?

Because they’re men.

Why do men unite with other men and work together to create great things and experiences?

Because they’re men.

Why do men boldly pursue and take the lead with women, adventure, and mastery?

Because they’re men.

The most succinct, informative “inner game” philosophy you’ll ever hear – “I do what I do because I’m a man”, not to win people over, not to get laid, not to acquire social status.

Your clothes, grooming, mannerisms, body composition, hobbies, pursuits, life purposes, inner game, and all that jazz aren’t the source of your masculinity, rather EXTENSIONS of it.

By virtue of being born male, you can unearth your masculinity and embrace it. You may not be acquainted with it, but it’s there!

Embrace everything your testosterone drives you to be and do, and “inner game” becomes easy.

The men who do best with women aren’t the ones who know every attraction philosophy under the sun. They’re the men who are most driven by, who most embody their male nature.

Their masculinity, their “alpha maleness”, isn’t something they read about online and decided to live by. It’s WHO THEY ARE, GENUINELY.

How do you avoid getting friendzoned by a girl?

Be more of a man.

How do you quit porn and masturbation?

Be more of a man.

How do you act the right way around a girl?

Be more of a man.

How do you earn the respect of other men?

Be more of a man.

How do you achieve the things you’ve always dreamed of doing?

Be more of a man.

The PUAs’ common problem

PUAs are just a bunch of guys who weren’t cool in high school trying to do well with the ladies, and I respect that. Every guy should be striving to be a better version of himself.

But I don’t entirely agree with their methods and philosophies.

Particularly, how they frame things.

“I wasn’t cool in high school, now I must learn all these philosophies and techniques to be a pussy slayer, not just a pussy”

So they learn all the outer and inner game…

Maybe even get some successes…

But are they really succeeding? Are they really becoming the men they want to be?

Or are they still stuck in the frame of being uncool and having to prove themselves to the social world?

Most PUAs operate in this framework – their innate self is unworthy of everything they crave, BUT if they just do the right things, apply the right game and philosophies, THEN THEY’LL BE COOL AND SOCIALLY ACCEPTED.

It’s a trauma response they’re not consciously aware of.

They read up on “how to be an alpha male” type of shit, because they want to fit this “alpha male” archetype to get everything they missed out on in high school. They’re scared of being a loser like they used to be.

They approach girls on the street to win the game of seduction after being a loser all their life. Again, I respect this, but it’s not an optimal way to get women.

And they network with other guys who weren’t cool in high school but are trying to get better at life and love. It’s a step, but you become the people you associate with most. Guess what hanging around people with “I’m a loser but I gotta pretend not to be” mindsets will do to you.

This “Be Alpha! Be confident! Don’t put the pussy on a pedestal!” advice isn’t wrong, logically. But by focusing on these things, you only reinforce your need for them. You’re still in the frame of LACKING SOMETHING.

You’re still in the frame that OTHER PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING YOU LACK, and you missed the window to cultivate that something in yourself.


You’re only as much of a loser as you let yourself be.

In reality, everything you need to be successful with the ladies is already inside you. It’s a natural part of you being a man.

Do you really need to learn philosophies and logical information to be an attractive man?

Or do you just need to unlock things that are already in you?

To thine own self be true,

– Ben

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: