Here’s a problem you may or may not have, that may or may not be sinking the quality of your dating life:
Fantasy is fun to indulge in sometimes. It’s not always a problem. But it’s healthy for men for only one reason – manifestation.
Every great creation started as an idea.
Look within yourself at the man your soul wants you to be, then make the right moves to become him. Fantasy is one way to get acquainted with this version of yourself.
Though in excess, fantasy is detrimental to your masculinity.
When fantasy becomes escapism
Your job as a man isn’t to play video games, watch porn, take in a bunch of substances, and watch movies starring men you feel unworthy of being like. Do those things every day, and you’re a loser.
Being overly attached to fantasies – valuing your digital adventures over your physical adventures, jerking off to porn stars instead of having sex with flesh-and-blood women, living vicariously through better men instead of becoming your own man, seeking substance-induced highs rather than the natural highs of life – IS LOSER BEHAVIOR.
It’s the easy way out. It takes no honorable sacrifice, no hard work, and creates no positive change in the world.
Your job as a man is to DO and CREATE. To be a real man, you have to make yourself useful and be the master of your own corner of the world. This should be obvious.
Playing video games is fun, but if they take up major real estate in your life, you expend energy on them that you could instead allocate towards real-life achievements.
Movies and other forms of story are a fun little distraction, and they can teach you more about life than textbooks and online articles can. But being overly invested in the actors and characters can be detrimental to you focusing on and mastering yourself.
Smoking or drinking once in a while can be fun and/or enlightening, but you don’t need me to tell you what bad consequences these can create in excess.
And that’s not the whole picture.
Every man fantasizes about a better future for himself, about an ideal life he wants to live.
Your inclination towards fantasy and idealism as a man is NORMAL
You’re SUPPOSED TO have your ideals, your fantasies about what you want in your life.
Otherwise, you’d be complacent as you are. You’d be fine as an unambitious nobody instead of feeling a burning drive to achieve great things. Bad life to live.
Your fantasies should be a blueprint for creation, not an escape.
Fantasize about it, then do what you gotta do to make it real.
Fantasy holds you back when it depends on other people treating you a certain way though, when you’re at a low level of energy.
Have you ever had intense fantasies about one specific girl? Of her being your loyal girlfriend? Of you impressing her and winning her over? When you haven’t even gone on one date?
All us gents are energized by the ego boost of a woman respecting us, serving us, being impressed by us. Even just by the idea of it.
The fault in this desire is when we NEED it fulfilled more than we WANT it fulfilled. When we overthink ways to get a specific girl, crave her approval, and refuse to be self-directed as we should be.
Obsession with this sort of fantasy, attachment to the outcome of trying to actualize it, usually ends in disappointment.
You watch the girl from afar, patiently waiting for the day you get your turn with her, the day you finally talk to her, the day you finally ask her out.
This is the woman’s job, not the man’s. SHE’S the one who’s supposed to stare at you from afar, deliberately put herself in your line of sight hoping you’ll notice her and chat her up. SHE’S the one who’s supposed to get a cascade of sexual fantasy from smelling you or hearing you speak. SHE’S the one who’s supposed to think to herself “I hope he asks me out, what can I do to get closer to him?”
YOU’RE the one who’s supposed to make the moves and lead her into a relationship.
But a lot of men don’t get this.
I’m guilty of not getting it. Are you?
Why didn’t I just fucking make a move? I ask myself.
Because I didn’t want to shatter the fantasy by getting rejected, that’s why.
These days, I’d just go for the girl, let whatever happens happen, and move right the fuck on if nothing’s there. Quick, easy, no hard feelings if she ain’t into me. I’m not ego-invested in which girls like me.
The more you’re invested in fantasy, the less attention of yours goes to anything you can do to improve your reality.
How to let go of fantasy and replace it with reality
That’s the most concise way to put it.
Of course, stop watching porn. Stop touching yourself while thinking about girls.
There is a very strong correlation between masturbation and attachment to fantasy.
If a guy masturbates to sexual fantasy (porn or in his head) all the damn time, his energy is conditioned to naturally direct itself to that. All energy is sexual energy. A chronic, compulsive masturbator lacks control over his masculine sexual energy. A soon as he feels it, he’s compelled to spill it. He lacks the strength to hold on to it, and from there, he lacks the strength to properly handle the rest of his life. Chronic, compulsive masturbation is both a symptom and a cause of a lack of masculine power.
But if he learns to hold on to his semen, which is a physical manifestation of masculine sexual energy, it stops controlling him. And he can direct it into his own self-betterment, and the world’s betterment, instead of agonizing over not having a girl to shoot it into.
This pent-up masculine sexual energy makes being idle and stagnant TORTUROUS, not comfortable. As a man, your natural comfort should be in MOVING FORWARD AND CONQUERING. Thus, fantasies will stop appealing to you and you’ll feel uncomfortable if you AREN’T doing constructive, real-world shit. Your divine purpose in this world will no longer be to escape and consume, but to create and give.
And if you’re having trouble achieving this level of self-mastery…
Be a better man every day,