I have a one-strike rule when it comes to flakes, or girls who are “maybe” about meeting up.

Some guys prefer 2 or 3 strikes, but I prefer not to waste my time like that.

I go for the date/meeting/hangout with a girl, then if she’s “maybe” about things, flakes, gives some bullshit excuse not to show up, or just quits texting me outta nowhere…

I stop talking to her entirely.

Leave her on read.

Don’t text her again unless she initiates.

Some guys would think “well, why don’t you keep texting her, see if you can do something to get her out?”

NO. YOU DON’T REWARD HER FOR BAD BEHAVIOR. By keeping on talking to her when she’s already flaked, you show her that you’re tolerating, even accepting her flakey behavior, that it’s allowed in your sphere of being, that you’re so needy for her company that you’d take being her texting buddy over not having her at all.

By carrying on texting her, trying to turn that soft rejection around, you’re positioning yourself beneath her while she’s got all the power. And we all know HOW FUCKING WET AND TINGLY GIRLS GET for supplicant guys like that.

Almost always, she’ll keep using you as an occasional texting buddy with no intention of meeting up with you.

Your attention is your leverage in this interaction. You can’t control what she does, but you can control whether you allow her into your sphere of being. Reclaim your power by saying goodbye when she’s giving you less than you deserve.

You can’t make a girl do anything she doesn’t want to do. When you game her, it’s not about making her desire you. It’s about giving her permission to act on the desire she’s already feeling for you.

And if she doesn’t already desire you, you’ll almost never turn that around. She unconsciously decides whether you’re a sexual option in the first 6.5 seconds she meets you.

What to do about “maybe” girls

We’ve likely all dealt with these types.

Girl texts us back quickly, maybe even initiates conversations with us.

Perhaps we see her in person and she appears to enjoy our company…

But she gets wishy-washy when we push towards a date. You can tell she’s somewhat feeling you, but still holding out for a better option.

The best thing to do with a “maybe” girl is to push for the date ONCE, then if she isn’t super enthusiastic, stop initiating any sort of text interaction with her. Remove your attention. Remove her from your sphere of being. Still interact with her in person to the degree that works for you. Focus on yourself and your other options.

Rather than coming up with ways to change a certain girl’s behavior towards you…

“I’ll send her an anti-flake text!”

“I’ll use this clever, funny, opener!”

“I’ll deliberately stop texting her for 3 days so she knows I have a life outside of texting her!”

…just be more mindful of WHICH girls you’re giving your attention to. Then you won’t angst about these flakes and “maybe” girls.

Have a standard for yourself – only give your attention to girls who are super enthusiastic about you. Because those are the ones you should want, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.

If she’s super enthusiastic about you, she’ll jump at the opportunity to see you, to let you lead her into something amazing. She won’t let herself miss out on you.

If she really wants you, she’ll find reasons to be with you. Remember this.

If she’s wrong for you, she’ll find reasons to get away from you. Remember this.

If she really wants you, she’ll find reasons to be with you.

IF SHE REALLY WANTS YOU, SHE’LL FIND REASONS TO BE WITH YOU.

And if you’re not yet THAT GUY who girls find reasons to be with…

You know what to do.

Be a better man every day,

– Ben

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