Short game vs long game

Wassup people, it’s been a while since I’ve sent out one of these. Excuse me for that. I decided to take a break from content creation and to give my energy to other things. Now let’s get back to it.

When should you “short game” a girl? When should you “long game” a girl?

When should you get to the point with a girl? Show her your interest early on? Polarize her quickly and efficiently?

And when should you draw things out a bit? Make her guess about you a bit? Polarize her slowly and deliberately as the days go by?

Guys fuck up when they apply the wrong game to a context. Either they push too quickly with a girl they should hold back a bit with… Or they don’t act as boldly as they should with a girl they need to show interest in and polarize NOW. They draw things out to a detrimental extent.

These are both valid forms of game that you SHOULD know how to pull off properly.

And there’s a right and a wrong context for both of them.

When you should “short game”

If you’re doing a cold approach or you’ve met the girl in any other context where you’re unsure whether you’ll see her again, that’s when you gotta do short game.

This includes night game, parties, other social situations where she isn’t connected to your immediate social circle, and of course, daygame.

In these cases, you must make your interest in the girl known QUICKLY. Compliment her beauty (something about her that GENUINELY catches your eye), then give her some space to respond. You want to polarize her quickly, so she can either reject you just as quickly (that’s a good thing!), or get hooked quickly, because in either case, you very likely won’t ever see each other again. So you gotta swiftly capitalize on the one opportunity you have with her.

During street approaches, do this at the very start, so your intentions align with your actions. You don’t want to simply make casual conversation when she already knows why you’re talking to her. In these cases, coming right out with your interest subcommunicates CONFIDENCE and SOCIAL CALIBRATION.

During parties and other social situations where you may never see her again, you can long game for a bit, but still, make your interest known when the time is right.

She already knows why you’re talking to her. You may as well be honest about it. And if you’re not – what does that subcommunicate? THAT YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM HER BUT DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU DESERVE IT.
Have some self-respect, my good sir. Being interested in a lady and showing it upfront is as bold or as weird as you make it. So make it bold.

When you should “long game”

Often, what you DON’T SAY to a woman seduces her more powerfully than what you DO SAY. In fact, 80%+ of our communication is nonverbal, so optimize yours (even when you short game, but we’ll focus on long game here).

You should long game women in situations where you KNOW you’ll be seeing them again – ex. When they’re in your immediate social circle, they’re staff or regulars at places you frequent, they’re other practitioners of a regular social hobby of yours.

In these cases, your game should be letting the girl SEE YOU IN YOUR ELEMENT. You don’t want to be too available to her, otherwise your over-availability will kill any tension or mystery between you two.

Directly approaching her and laying your interest right out CAN work, but it’s not what I usually recommend. It’s easy to come on too strong, and ignore unwritten social rules, doing this. Ask yourself – What’s the rush?

Believe me, she’s noticing you.

Girls aren’t blind, and if they don’t already have a man, they’re constantly on the lookout for one. In long game, you don’t want to rely too strongly on directly interacting with her. Put some space between you two, then let her try to figure you out as she watches you do what you do. Let her fantasize. Let her wonder. This’ll passively increase her attraction to you, so try it out!

Then give her some attention when you feel like it! You don’t want to ignore her, just put some mystery into your persona and let her come to you.

Unlike a street approach or making a move on a girl you may never see again, there’s no rush to get this girl out on a date. You’ll definitely be seeing each other again. Be patient. Let the tension build (or not) between you two. Let her wonder whether you’re into her.

Then when the time is right, you can escalate slowly, then more quickly. Start with casual conversation while subcommunicating attractive things about yourself, then of course, let her come to you.

When you apply the wrong game

It happens.

A guy will short game a girl he should have long gamed, or attempt to long game a girl he should have short gamed. He’ll dance swing with her when he should have waltzed, or he’ll waltz with her when he should have danced swing.

He’ll be far too direct with a girl he should have let come to him, or he’ll be far too passive with a girl he should have been very forward with.

Have you ever…

Done a cold approach but only made boring “nice guy” conversation, which completely killed any potential tension?

Come on too strong to a girl you’d met at work or a social activity? Scared her away by giving her too much attention too fast?

Felt strong tension with a girl you saw near you? But instead of talking to her, you froze up and let her go?

That’s what happens when you miscalibrate your energy. Have some awareness instead.

Remember this – the process of courtship is more a dance than a logical procedure. You don’t want to push too strongly, nor do you want to only rely on pulling her to you. In varying contexts, you have to vary the amount of push/pull you do. That ties into long/short game.

Be available to her when you gotta.

Put some tension and mystery between you two when you gotta.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dating.

The dating marketplace varies among demographics and contexts. So what works in one situation may not be what works in another. What works for one guy may be a waste of time for another.

Few people understand all these nuances in the dating world quite like I do.

And if you want to broaden your understanding of game and intersexual dynamics…

I’m here to help.

Be bold and brave,

– Ben

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