To say I was girl-crazy in my early teens was an understatement.
To say I was booze-crazy in my early young adulthood, also an understatement.
Let’s not get too into the former. It was just normal cringy teenage hormonal shit. Story for another day!
As for the latter, I was damn ADDICTED to the booze for a while. Even to the point of skipping out on social gatherings to get drunk (wait, what?)
My broken past self didn’t care for socializing back then. I’d honestly just go to parties to find girls to get laid with, and always come back to my dorm room alone. FML
And I’d always drink just a little too much. That’s an understatement. Every time I’d put some booze in me, I’d drink enough to kill a lightweight.
You ever been to a party and met a guy who was drunk as a skunk, acting like a fiery mess, trying to impress people, girls especially, and seeming needy for the validation of ANYONE? That was me when I was addicted to alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I was a fun time when I’d be mildly to moderately drunk. That’s the reason I’d get invited to parties in the first place. But I’d be a nightmare of a party guest when I’d get majorly drunk.
And that was in hindsight, because of my relationship to feminine energy.
Your relationship to alcohol is your relationship to femininity
I’d like to thank the majestic Pat Stedman for this insight, since he’s the one who first brought it to my mind.
Now let’s elaborate on it.
Alcohol is feminine energy in a bottle. It affects you much like a woman does – it leads to chaos, lowered inhibitions, and FUN. That’s why it’s a traditionally masculine trait to hold one’s liquor, while a ton of women out there get wasted on only a few shots (and the ones who drink to the point of being unable to stand are disconnected from their own femininity).
So going by a man’s relationship to booze, you can approximate how he relates to women. (and vice versa for how his relationship to women reveals his relationship to booze)
Here’s a common thread between guys who binge on booze frequently: They’re NEEDY for women. They can’t control their alcohol intake because they feel powerless over feminine energy. They get a taste of it, and want more and more and more, even if it leads to them humiliating or debasing themselves.
Men who can control themselves with booze, no matter how much they drink, have that same power with women.
Both of these categories of men can be super masculine. It’s just that the former has a less integrated relationship with it than the latter.
Back when I was frequently losing myself in alcohol binges, I was also attempting to lose myself in girls, and I’d repel a whole ton of them. Same for my friends who’d drink the heaviest.
When I’d take breaks from boozing, for weeks or months on end, my results with girls would improve. I’d be more in control of myself with them, make them feel more comfortable around me, and more naturally draw them to me. Whereas when I’d compulsively get drunk all the time, my dating life was a sad little DESERT.
Every girl I’ve been with more than once has told me she’s liked me better sober than drunk.
That’s because alcohol, improperly handled, numbs your masculine energy and drowns you in femininity. And if you know anything about masculine energy, you know that ain’t good for ya.
Think of it in a yin/yang sort of way. It’s healthy (and necessary!) for a super-masculine man to have A BIT of feminine energy in him, but too much of it, and he loses himself. Too little, and he’ll be dissociated from it, needy for it.
Have you ever known an alcoholic? Or a compulsive binge drinker? Even if you had sympathy for them, I doubt you felt any respect for them. I doubt you looked up to them. I mean, their life revolves around getting drunk. They don’t self-perceive as having any power over themselves, their circumstances, or their direction. It’s not that they have a mental health issue. It’s that there’s little MASCULINITY to them, even if they’re otherwise functional.
It’s fine to enjoy a few drinks sometimes, gents! Alcohol is a net POSITIVE in your life if you use it properly. But if you can’t control your boozing, if alcohol is like your mother’s embrace to your hurt inner child, or the sweetest, most sexual thing in your life… You need to quit drinking and define what kind of man you are without it.
So if you find yourself drinking just a little too much, check your relationship with femininity. Gain some control over your own masculine energy.
Because I guarantee, once you get acquainted with the real power and potency of your innate masculinity…
You’ll control the booze. The booze won’t control you.
Consequently, your neediness and powerlessness around women will disappear. Your relationships with them will become empowering to both of you. You’ll dance with the feminine, not be overwhelmed by it.