I’m a sexual energy coach for a reason, gents. Not simply a dating coach, though that’s still an accurate way to put it.
I don’t simply teach you what to say and do with women, or what to expect when you’re making your way in the dating world.
I primarily teach ENERGY, because that’s the real determinant of how your dating life goes, whether you’re the smooth charming guy, the needy weird guy, the depolarized nice guy, the exciting but unstable asshole, etc…
This post will be about things I usually go over in coaching, so if this post resonates with you at all, feel free to fill out the form and learn more about these concepts one-on-one with me.
So let’s get into it.
You could do everything objectively “right” with the ladies, but if your energy’s off, you won’t get the women nor the results you truly want.
But if your energy IS aligned and integrated, things will work out for you. Maybe not immediately, but sooner than you may think, and in different ways than you may think 😉
The QUALITY and QUANTITY of your ENERGY determine WHICH WOMEN YOU GET, if any.
You don’t accidentally date, fuck, or vibe with the women you get. Every interaction you have with them has already been pre-consented to by both parties. You’re together because something about your individual energies aligns, even if it’s not immediately apparent.
If you’re with a girl who sucks or you routinely date girls who are deeply irresponsible for their flaws (we all have them! what matters is the responsibility we take for our shortcomings and wounds), it’s up to you to figure out why. Something about YOU is attracting them, and until you work through it, these low-vibe women are all you’ll get.
Dating high-quality, feminine, gorgeous, giving women is no accident either. But you already know that’s a more pleasant experience.
SO. I’m about to teach you the framework for energy mastery I teach clients – the three centers of energy that build upon each other like a 3-storey house.
The more in-touch you get with these parts of your body, the more awareness you’ll have around women and yourself. The more doing “the right thing” in dating stops being a conscious game, and becomes an effortless way of being. The more clearly you’ll see which women are and aren’t connected to their own selves. Many modern women are heavily dissociated, and women in general struggle to have fulfilling dating lives just as much as we men do. But we can’t control women, or force damaged ones to have some awareness. We can only control ourselves, and enhance our own consciousness.
This is the foundation that your SELF is built on. Your sex is your biological hardware and software/programming.
Before we’re anything else, we’re boys and girls. We’re men and women. This is your biological role in this world.
I could give you all the theory and evo psych about how a man is supposed to protect, provide, procreate… But why should you have to learn this or read about it?
Are you not ALREADY a man?
Your masculine sexual energy is generated in your balls. It’s the tension you feel when you see a gorgeous woman. It’s your drive to conquer, create, penetrate.
Most men today are dissociated from this raw masculine energy. Porn locks it in fantasy. Trauma misdirects it. Cultural conditioning teaches us that it’s oppressive. Women are dissociated too. And until you restore the natural flow of sexual energy in your body, you’ll get these dissociated women while missing out on the sexually aware ones.
Being aware of your sex means knowing yourself as an animal. There’s plenty I could say about this, but it’s better if I don’t. Feel within yourself, and the answers will be yours.
Speaking to a girl from your sex will arouse her, turn her on, make her feel more like a woman, and you more like a man. To have sex, you need to BE AWARE OF YOUR SEX. In short, your sex creates BIOCHEMICAL ATTRACTION. But your sex is only one fundamental of three when it comes to being a man and attracting women.
We humans are animals at our base, yet so much more.
Your mind is MINDFUL. It’s conscious awareness. It’s thought, emotion, decision making, social competence. Everything that gets you coexisting with other people and playing your social role in this world.
The mind is the energy center that most dating gurus focus on, and for good reason.
Your MIND determines what forms of SOCIAL ATTRACTION you experience. It determines which people you’re capable of connecting with. Women also tend to prioritize this higher than men do in their relationships. A woman who feels biochemical but not social attraction with a man is far less likely to have sex with him than a man in the same position with a woman.
So a man with social and emotional awareness, status, skills, game… He’ll clean up with the ladies and get the respect of the gents. He’s proven that he has what it takes to win people over and attain status.
But guys who focus on this fundamental aren’t always successful. Many absolutely FLOP in the social/dating world no matter what game they learn.
“I’m too in my head” is one of the most common dating woes I’ve heard from guys I’ve worked with. That used to be me too, so I empathize. I used to be one of those robotic “game” guys who’d run calculated routines and stuff. That never got me laid.
These guys’ problem is that they’ve built up their mind without first getting acquainted with their sex.
Building up the mind without first building up the sex makes you nothing more than your social role. Plenty of men and women today are simply “going through the motions” when it comes to their sexual role, and don’t have that visceral energetic connection to it. To these people, sex is a merely physical thing – positions, sex acts, touching genitals, fantasies, collecting partners for validation and the stories. There’s no raw, sexual, animal energy to it. These people’s sex lives suck.
Once you’re highly conscious of your sex, your mind stops being your entire self-perceived self. It becomes a tool, a weapon, a computer, a powerful force. It becomes a secondary means of attraction.
But far too many guys assume their sex and their mind is all it takes for quality relationships. The sex alone is sufficient for some one-night stands. Sex + mind leads to flings and casual dating, maybe even a shallow relationship. Yet for a deeper relationship with a woman, you need to be acquainted with…
The heart just KNOWS.
Your heart is tuned into electromagnetic fields that the rest of your body simply isn’t. That’s why it keeps beating when it’s removed from a human body.
I’ll admit I only partially understand this on a conscious level, but I’m further along than ever before. Your heart is a source for your intuition, and it’s this intuition that selects the girls you may or may not WANT, yet who you NEED.
SPIRITUAL ATTRACTION is a hell of a thing. It doesn’t always make logical sense. It can lead you to girls who enrich your life… Girls who teach you something… Or to girls who damn near break you. In any case, you’re spiritually attracted to girls who enter your life for a higher reason than simply fucking or going on fun dates or showing each other off to your friends.
These experiences aren’t entirely logical. They usually have biochemical and social aspects, but just the fact that your bodies want to sex and/or you have aligning social roles is an incomplete explanation for your connection.
Every girl I’ve been spiritually attracted to has changed my life, slightly or majorly. The girls I’ve cold approached out of intuition and been rejected by have taught me what kinds of girls do and don’t align with the man I am. One girl I was super strongly drawn to for seemingly no fucking reason who horribly rejected me taught me that I still had a lot of transactional and objectifying mindsets about girls that I had yet to transcend. A girl I went on a date with recently despite having absolutely 0 chemistry with her taught me that I was more emotionally closed off around girls than I used to think, and I’ve been working on being more open-hearted since then.
And that’s just a couple of the more recent ones. I have enough stories about spiritual attraction to fill a damn novel or two.
When you get an intuitive feeling about a girl, lean into it. She may not be your future wife or girlfriend, or even a hookup, but she’s there to teach you something, assuming you’re open to learning the lesson you gotta learn.
You don’t simply need to feel spiritual attraction to have deep relationships with women, you need to feel it for a deeper, healthier, more integrated relationship with YOURSELF. Every woman you naturally click with reflects something about YOU. Again, you don’t accidentally click with these women.
Read that again and reflect on it. This is one of the most important lessons both men and women need to learn about dating. Once you understand that every single girl you meet and/or get with teaches you something about yourself, then…
Now, there’s a whole lot more I could say about these three levels of sexual energy mastery, and how they apply to your individual circumstances and way of being. But let’s save that for one-on-one coaching.
If you’re ready to be the most sexually aware, sexually integrated man you can possibly be…
Be a better man every day,