The truth about Approach Anxiety !

Continuing from yesterday’s email about self-sabotage…

Let’s get into one of the big reasons men self-sabotage when meeting women:


I’ve had it, you’ve almost certainly had it, every man who’s decided to be brave in the dating world has had it.

You see a cute girl, and she fills you with TENSION. Shit. What’ll you do now?

Most men would freeze and pretend it isn’t there.

But we aren’t most men.

The truth about approach anxiety is that…

It means you SHOULD approach

Let’s reframe things real quick.

This girl who you think is real cute – she provoked an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE in you. That wasn’t accidental.

The “approach anxiety” you’re feeling is ENERGY. This is your body priming you to engage with her, because it knows what it wants better than your conscious mind does.

Why would you even bother with a girl who doesn’t stimulate the flow of sexual energy in your body? Only a man with low standards would.

I personally don’t approach the girls who don’t make me feel anything, who wouldn’t stay on my mind after they left my line of sight, even if they’re objectively hot and/or visually appealing. Why would I? My body didn’t viscerally react to them. My genetic code unconsciously, intuitively knows what it likes and doesn’t like.

Now if you do what some guys do instead, which is approaching just for the sake of approaching… You could have a platonic or entertaining conversation with the girl, but there will be no sexual chemistry between you two. You’re just not meant for each other.

Listen to your body! Listen to your heart and your sex! Only approach the girls who make you FEEL something.

I guarantee you boys, based on my personal experience, the approaches you do when you have that sweet sweet approach anxiety are the ones that’ll go best. The girls will be more turned on, invested, responsive than the girls you only had a mild or lukewarm feeling about.

If you’re feeling that sweet tension, odds are she is too. It’s amazing how contagious emotions are. The tension you’re feeling carries over into her!

And this tension, once you learn to harness it and escalate with it… Will become half the fun of meeting new girls.

Gents, if you have a hard time generating, handling, or recognizing tension…

If your approach anxiety is a bummer when you see a stunner…

If your dating life isn’t what it could be….

Sexual energy coaching is for you!

When you’re ready to step into your integrated masculinity and learn the secrets of what attracts women to men…



– Ben

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