This was originally part of the last email, but it became its own topic, so I decided to make it its own piece.
I know at least a couple lasting relationships that started in the party scene. And I myself had a close relationship with a girl I met (and read the Bible with) for the first time when we were absolutely shitfaced.
These people were good fits for each other beneath their drunken personas. And their unconscious minds knew it.
All these things didn’t STAY situational. There was a strong sense of affinity right from the first moment their eyes met.
One caveat though, if you think you can get a drunk girl wanting to be your wifey during the first meeting…
All these people naturally met each other later, when they were all sober.
They were sexually liberal.
First one’s self-explanatory. Their relationship didn’t start out super close and connected upon the first meeting. It was just a hookup between two people who happened to have common psychological, spiritual ground. They also happened to be in the same circle, and after staying in touch, naturally connected and decided to see more of each other – after seeing what each other was like sober.
As for the second one, different people prioritize DESIRE and COMFORT to different degrees.
Some girls won’t sleep with you until you’re in a relationship.
Other girls won’t get into a relationship with you unless you prove you can fuck em good.
Like the girls, we guys have our preferences based on our values, personalities, and life circumstances.
Guys who are (open to being) sexually promiscuous will naturally date, vibe with, and get into relationships with girls who are similarly so.
While the more sexually restrained, serious relationship seeking types will naturally select each other.
This isn’t a conscious process where these people choose each other based on logical criteria. It’s natural vibing and assortment.
Though you may fantasize about it, if you’re a guy who likes to party and hook up, the likelihood of you locking down a sweet, comfort-seeking virgin (or low n-count) girl who stays away from the drinking, partying scene is extremely low, almost impossible. You don’t have shared psychological ground with these girls. Your want for them is pure fantasy, not something that’s in alignment for you, barring a serious re-arrangement of your value hierarchy.
At the same time, if you’re a guy who’s looking for something serious and lasting, especially if the party scene isn’t for you… YOU WON’T FIND IT AT THE BARS OR AT A DRUNKEN HOUSE PARTY. You’ll find it when you play to your demographics, and do the things you personally enjoy most.
There are some “one size fits all” principles to dating – masculine and feminine energy, psychological health, biochemical attraction… But we gents are as diverse as the ladies are.
Oftentimes, the reason we men fail in dating, even if we have a lot going for us, isn’t because we’re innately flawed or unfuckable or unattractive…
It’s because we’re marketing ourselves to the wrong demographics of women, women who are right for men in their demographic, not you. Don’t try to be another man, rather than expressing your honest, unique self and attracting women who FIT YOU.
Whatever kind of man you are, there are attractive women out there who’d be great for you.
Are you ready to meet them and step into your most integrated, most aligned, most masculine self?
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