The woman inside you

Wassup boys and boys, we’re gonna get Jungian and esoteric here, so buckle up. This is an advanced masculine integration topic I’ve seen few other dudes talk about.

The Anima.

Your feminine side, according to Carl Jung.

I know that a lot of gents reading this will think I’m BSing, that I’m gonna go new-age and act like a pussy here. That’s not it.

Channeling feminine energy improves the quality and intensity of your masculine energy. So listen up.

This may not be the masculinity advice you want, but it’s the masculinity advice a lot of men sorely need.

One caveat here – this advice is for men who are already strongly grounded in their masculine energy. Before learning to handle feminine energy, you must be firmly acquainted with the masculine. Otherwise, you will become the depolarized, weak, passive, impotent “man” a lot of us fear being, or have been in the past before we embarked on our journey of masculine development.

The limits of immature masculinity

The manosphere likes to talk about men’s “burden of performance”, and for good reason.

The “burden of performance” is a succinct way to describe the essence of masculinity in its most immature, foundational form.

You’re strong and jacked… Or you’re a weak beta soyboy.

You have a well-paying job or some other form of high social status… Or you’re a low-value man.

You get laid and date attractive girls… Or you’re sexually deficient.

You can lift more, run faster, make more money, solve problems better, be more socially competent than the other guy… So you’re better than him.

It’s not a wrong way to look at things, as anyone who’s been in high school knows. But it’s an incomplete way of defining yourself as a man. It’s the foundation, not the entire building.

Yet a ton of us men measure our masculinity by these metrics alone. Which can be fun for a while, but it eventually becomes futile. A man can remain in this stage all his life, measuring his value in no new ways, but he will never share the full spectrum of love with a woman while he remains in it. She’s a possession to him more than she is a partner.

The immature masculine has no sense of self outside of competition and power dynamics.

It’s fun if you’re winning, and soul-crushing if you’re losing.

But at a certain point, every man who seeks to become his highest self must ask himself…

Is this a game you want to play forever?

Will you keep defining your life by the competitive victories? Or will you pursue something above them?

Internal masculine/feminine interplay

If you’ve ever been around a woman grounded in her femininity, you know how much more like a man that makes you feel. Merely being around an extremely feminine woman polarizes you to become more masculine, assuming you’re already grounded in your masculine.

Same thing happens when you internalize and channel some feminine energy of your own.

Masculine energy can be transformed into feminine energy, and feminine energy can be transformed into masculine energy.

It’s an advanced topic, so if you’re still at the “lift weights, quit porn, and be assertive” stage of your masculine development, make note of this, but integrate it later.

You need to let yourself feel feminine, to be pure free-flowing energy instead of structure and rigidity, then let this feminine energy augment the polarity of your masculinity.

When you get acquainted with the woman inside you and learn to embrace her, she will make you more of a man, if you let her.

Again, you may be thinking this is BS advice. We’ve all seen feminized or sexually neutral men acting like pussies with their girl friends.

A man’s masculinity is erased when the feminine energy in him is stifled and unevolving, not when it’s in free flow and transformation.

Masculine energy is PENETRATING. Feminine energy is TRANSFORMATIVE. Women can’t have direction without masculine energy. Men can’t fundamentally change their reason for being without feminine energy.

You must learn to define yourself beyond the burden of performance (not instead of it). This REQUIRES feminine energy, and the outcome depends on the man.

Some men give up the burden of performance permanently when a woman gets close to them. This leads to a decline in passion and sexual polarity. Consciously or not, the woman resents the man for not quite being one.

Some men drown themselves in their own feminine energy while rejecting the masculine, and become emotionally and spiritually weak. In some cases, transsexual because they refuse to transmute this feminine energy into masculine energy.

Some men compartmentalize the burden of performance and their union with a woman. They know how to be a man on a mission, and a man with a woman, but these two parts of their sense of self are at war. One wants to destroy the other. This leads to issues in one or both of those domains.

The most integrated men allow their masculine and their feminine to dance together, whether their feminine comes from inside themselves and/or from a woman. Ideally, it’d come from both.

An integrated man still has the burden of performance, but he stops thinking of it as a burden. He sees it as a gift, a means to bring himself and the world more into alignment. He sees it as a union with the world, with the feminine. His reason for being stops being conquest for the sake of winning, and it starts being conquest for the sake of love.

Cardinal principle of sexuality – polarity. Feminine energy polarizes masculine energy, and vice versa. They can also depolarize each other. Which outcome happens to you is a matter of choice. Sometimes, you need to experience depolarization to gain a new sense of appreciation and understanding of your masculinity.

Women have their animus too. The immature feminine defines itself purely by its unions, then the animus gives them direction and responsibility. But we won’t get into that just yet.

I could say a fuckton more about this, but let’s apply it to your personal situation in coaching.

When you’re ready to step into your most integrated, most masculine self…

See me!

You da man,

– Ben

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