In the last email, we talked about the power of embracing pausing and silence in the conversation, and how crucial it is for sexual tension…
Now here’s a story from my life where I made that work for me:
I was out at the bars not too long a while back, and I wound up in a group where a bunch of guys were chatting up this one girl, and at least a couple of them were trying to get her.
I’m a competitive guy who likes to have fun, so I decided – fuck it, I’ll get this girl. I’ll show these guys how to treat a lady, and make said lady’s night a whole lot better.
I stood back, breathed deeply, and let myself be present.
As one guy was in her face, joking around with her, trying to get her to laugh…
And this other guy was begging her to let him kiss her…
I shut the fuck up… stayed present… and stared this girl in the eyes as she talked to the other guys in the group.
Eventually, she moved on to talking to me, and as the PUA guys round these parts would say, I quickly kiss-closed her.
I don’t remember what we talked about, but she said she had a boyfriend, so I held back on escalating… Until I realized she said she had a boyfriend just to get that annoying dude to stop trying to kiss her.
Apparently, I was her boyfriend the whole time.
“Yeah babe, I’m your boyfriend,” I played along as I kissed her on her cheek, her forehead, then on her lips. Had my arm around her and everything as the thirsty dudes in the group had their eyes on us.
Then once she had to leave, I was horny from the making out, so I decided to fully close her.
So again, I stfued the fuck up and looked her right in the eyes. She was feeling the same thing I was feeling.
“I wanna go back to yours, see what the tap water there is like,” I said.
She was very “maybe” about it, so I kept amping up the tension while holding the comfort. Didn’t get the hookup though, as she didn’t want to look like a sloot in front of her roommate. Would have just been a meaningless, situational one night stand anyway. Meeting her was fun as it was.
I number-closed this girl however, and we texted a bit after, but I wasn’t really feeling the situational hookup with her anymore, nor was she, so it fizzled out quickly.
LESSON IN THIS
I’m reminded of a cringy video I watched a while back that you may or may not have seen yourself.
My story from that one night is much like the blonde girl and the guys who picked her.
Notice who “wins” with her – The tallest, most physically appealing, calmest guy.
Is it any surprise that the needy, fast-talking, salesy guy makes it almost to the end… As a pure source of entertainment and attention for the girl?
His vibe wasn’t interesting and cool, as much as jumpy and validation-seeking.
So gents, if you want girls to want to hook up with you, be more like Mr. Tall and Silent than Mr. Interesting. Prioritize the tension and mystery around yourself above all else. Be protective and in full control of your energy/attention.
I imagine the blonde girl and the tall dude hooked up soon after that video was filmed, but didn’t have a real connection beyond that.
That’s what happens when a girl feels physically attracted to you, but you don’t personally connect with each other or represent what you want in a more meaningful relationship.
Girls get horny too, and while some save their sexual indulgence for men they have a real connection with…
A lot of them will be down to hook up with you just because you’re an attractive guy who isn’t needy! That way, they can get their rocks off without feeling insecure about it!
Don’t mistake this for them wanting something more though, as some of us guys (including me) have learned the hard way. If you’re looking for something beyond a purely physical hookup, following the example of this story of mine and Mr. Tall Dude is only part of the picture.
Mastering the art of sexual tension is highly important in your journey of gitting gud at dating, gents. Whether you’re in it for pure hookups, or something more meaningful.
<3 I’m your sexual energy coach for that very reason <3
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