Winning starts within!

We talked yesterday about energy – arguably the most important fundamental in being a man and attracting women.

Now let’s get into something equally important – MINDSET.

Every man who does well with women has a strong, positive frame about himself.

Consciously and not, he assumes he’s attractive.

Look brother, both you and I have been burnt by women in the past. I’ve felt inferior and hopeless in the dating world. I’ve felt like I was inherently destined never to get an attractive, quality girl, and you likely have too.

This is the rule for us men. Not the exception. Few of us gents are naturals with women from our teenage years on.

Men who lack power and confidence in the dating world go one of two ways – They either stay in a fixed mindset about themselves, do the bare minimum to self-actualize, “take what they can get” when it comes to women, and settle down long-term with the first decent option that’s willing to commit.

OR they pick a growth mindset. They realize they’re responsible for absolutely everything about their life – their emotions, thought patterns, lifestyle and life trajectory, physical and mental health, genetic strength, values and personal integrity, and results with women 😉

If a fixed mindset is for you, you’re not the guy I want to work with. You can fuck off and watch your favourite porn clip for the 100th time.

But if you’re a gentleman with a growth mindset, who’s not great with women yet but is determined to get there, you’re exactly who I want in my circles!

Girls like you. Girls want to get to know you. Girls understand that you’re imperfect, and they’re okay with it. Do you believe that?

That’s how a man with a strong, positive frame thinks.

Whereas a man with a weak, negative frame will assume otherwise – he’ll assume he repels women and would be extremely lucky to get one someday. And his reality will shift according to that. He’ll self-sabotage and shy away from the ladies who he could have something good with, and put his attention on the ones who’ll reject him.

Your mindset is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Whatever it is, you’ll unconsciously select and create experiences that prove it to be true, and naturally bend other ones to conform to it.

When you truly, viscerally believe that you’re worthy of attractive, quality women, your external reality will reflect this belief. Women are mirrors, and how they feel about you will usually reflect how you feel about yourself. You won’t pay attention to the ones who’d be unreceptive to you, you’ll notice the ones who like you much more readily, and the “maybe” girls will be way more likely to develop a positive opinion of you!

Winning starts within!

So how do you build this strong, positive frame about yourself?

Show your rough edges.

What makes a man’s frame strong and positive ISN’T that he’s some perfect ubermensch of an attractive guy who can get absolutely any woman melting all over him.

Seriously, one of my biggest mentors for getting girls was exactly this type of extremely attractive, masculine Chad manosphere guys wish they were, and the burden of perfection was his biggest flaw. He’d melt down and completely lose his frame any time someone would treat him as anything but perfect.

A man’s strong frame comes from acknowledging where he falls short, and being okay with it. And understanding that his imperfections actually AUGMENT his value as a person.

Your mindset about your flaws is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you assume people will reject you and dislike you for them, you will reject yourself and dislike yourself!

But if you’re vulnerable about them and frame them like they’re no big deal… Other people will feel the same way, and they’ll be much more inclined to be okay with themselves around you!

I learned this in university. For those who don’t already know, I started losing my hair at 14, so high school was very fun for me. But once I graduated high school, insecure as I was, I decided not to use it as an excuse, and chose to put myself out there with girls anyway.

When I’d meet girls without a hat on, they’d be more receptive to me than the times I’d have a hat on. I first met almost every girl I slept with hatless. The dates I went on where I figured “I won’t wear a hat cuz if she rejects me for not having a full head of hair, I don’t want to be with her anyway” were the ones that went the best, while the ones where I showed up with a hat on were almost always the ones where the girl was most unreceptive to me.

See what I did there – FRAMING! The more I’d frame my beautiful shaved head as no big deal, even as a POSITIVE, the more the girl would believe the exact same thing.

There is no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect woman.

Being successful with women means understanding exactly that – Women are imperfect, and you should love them for it.

To get a pretty girl to open herself up and share herself with you on all levels, you must validate her. ALL OF HER.

Then something cool will happen – she’ll start to be okay with ALL OF YOU too. But that’s assuming you open yourself up to rejection as well.

To date girls you strongly connect with, framing your “flaws” positively, rather than sweeping them under the rug, is a MUST.

To receive an imperfect and real girl, you have to be open to imperfection and reality.

Or you can do what scared and self-loathing guys do instead, and give yourself the burden of perfection. You can play yourself like some generic attractive guy girls should want to be with, and end up with an absolute snooze-fest of a dating life, dating boring, closed-off girl after boring, closed-off girl, and de-select all the girls with some real personality and life force to them. I’ve tried this, and I didn’t like it too much.

The choice is yours.

Do you want a boring, one-dimensional, torturous dating life that runs on the burden of perfection?

Or do you want to see me in coaching, and manifest yourself an imperfect but extremely fun and rewarding dating life?

Keep taking action!

– Ben


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