The men who will never get the women of their dreams

As much as I like talking about how men can improve their results with women…

There is a subset of them that, I’m sad to say, is doomed NEVER to win the affections of attractive, high-quality women.

These men can only ever SETTLE.

Either they flop and flounder in the dating world as every single woman with something going for her ignores them, or loses interest after the first or second date…

Or they settle down with the first half-decent woman who’s willing to stick with them, and spend their life in a passionless, “well, I guess it’s good to have someone around” type of relationship.

Best case scenario: They do date decent women who like them… But something’s lacking. It’s subtly obvious that she isn’t fully invested, nor giving him the full spectrum of what she has to offer. Other men got her sexual best, and now that he’s got money and status, he’s the safe long-term option (who she’d 100% leave if he lost the money and status overnight!)

What’s wrong with these men? It’s simple.

They think they can do it all on their own.

They don’t want to get better, because getting better means admitting they don’t already have all the answers. It means admitting that someone else knows more than them.

They only have the balls to do the bare minimum to get a comfortable position in life, and to get a girl not to leave them.

When I started on this journey of discovering my masculinity and getting good with women, I was the scrawniest, weakest, least athletic guy around. I had massive anxiety and a ton of other baggage and trauma and mental health BS, and at one point even attempted to kms over a girl rejecting me. I thought I was forever doomed to be the least cool, lowest-status guy in the room no matter where I’d go.

I had every excuse to let myself forever be a sexual failure.

Instead, I embraced mentorship.

I followed the example of men I had direct relationships with who knew much more than I did. I would never be the strong, competent, attractive man I am today if I didn’t humble myself before men who knew better than I.

If I never had the men who taught me what I know about health, hustle, and honeys, I would still be <120 lbs and weak as fuck. I would still be a dreamer, not a doer.

I would still look enviously at the guys who command attention and respect from the girls and the other guys, wondering what their secret is while I’m so broken and defective.

These men taught me how to be a man. Knowing them showed me my true potential – and made me extremely pissed at the thought of me never actualizing it.

I know what I know because they knew it first, then shared it with me because I was open to receiving it.

Do you actually want to be competent with women?

It’s funny to see some guys’ lack of self-awareness.

They wish they could have the women of their dreams, and they know they haven’t got all the answers about that.

Then they meet me, a dating coach who’s dealt with and solved almost every girl problem in the book.

And these guys say

“I’ll think about it”

“Maybe later”

“I’ll reach out when I hit x point in my journey”

“I have this other thing that I need to spend the money on”

Or they fill out the form to work with me, then ignore me once I reach out to set up a discovery call.

Looks like they find more enjoyment in looking at their dream women from a distance, than in, you know, actually interacting with and actually dating their dream women.

No big deal for those women. There’s plenty of men in this world. They don’t have to settle for one who’s SCARED to look a bit weird and learn something new.

I mean, even if you’d rather take action and trial-and-error it on your own…

Where’s that gotten you? What have you already been doing?

Look, I know getting good with women is a long-term process. You don’t 180 your dating life overnight.

And maybe I’m not the right dating guru for you. If so, I respect you finding ones who resonate more with you. My work doesn’t resonate with absolutely every guy out there, and that’s that.

Are you uncertain about your future? Have you had some girl-related experiences that have scarred you? Are you insecure about not being good enough for the women you want?


If that’s you, you’re exactly who I want to work with.

But I won’t validate your excuses. Fuck your excuses. Stop being scared to make a mistake.

Stop being scared of looking stupid.

Whether you work with me or not, you’ll make mistakes with women. You’ll date the wrong ones. You’ll refuse to take action with the right ones. You’ll have your failures. You’ll take your Ls. You will be blindsided by some absolute bullshit that comes from seemingly nowhere. Problems festering in the background that you refuse to acknowledge will bite you in the ass down the line.

You WILL be torn apart. Though how much, and how strong you become when you recover, depends on your awareness.

All the truths you refuse to see in yourself – guess what! I see them vividly. You’re transparent.

Learning how women work in my coaching is like learning a language before going to a foreign country.

You can either go there with no grasp on the language, no one to teach you, and never understand shit about what anyone’s saying, maybe learn a bunch of canned phrases and that’s it.

Or you can get me to teach you the fundamentals, how it all works, and how it’s similar to the languages you already know. Then as you speak it with me and the locals, make your mistakes, get corrected…

Your understanding of the language will never stop evolving, Pretty soon, you won’t need me to teach it to you anymore. You’ll even sound like a native speaker eventually.

See me, assuming you’re courageous.

Cowardly men aren’t welcome in my sphere of being.

To work with me, you mustn’t only be brave enough to approach and discover new women.

You must be brave enough to approach and discover yourself as a man. That’s where the real girl-getting magic happens.

Again, see me when you’re ready to learn the language of sexuality.

Keep taking action,

– Ben

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