Should be fucking obvious HOW to get a girl from a dating app to want to see you – look like a cool, attractive, high-status guy in your photos. Have a bio that doesn’t suck and communicates your personality. Text her with good energy, don’t be needy, and set the date up like a man instead of waiting for her to do it.
I’ve gotten girls out from online dating plenty of times. Enough for it to get formulaic and extremely predictable.
In fact, 90%+ of my dating life in university happened thanks to my quote, unquote, “online game”.
Get well-versed enough in the art of painting yourself online, then the question becomes not HOW to meet girls online, it becomes…
Should you?
Because while it was fun for me back in the day, I actually DON’T meet girls from online dating anymore, despite having a much more integrated understanding of my own sexuality than I used to! I’m simply not aligned with that setting anymore.
I’m not here to give you a dogmatic view of online dating. I won’t tell you it’s a haven of hot girls on speed-dial, or an absolute dumpster fire shithole. Different men live in different realities. Some of you will get fantastic results using it. Others will only get droughts and dry spells.
The latter is still true even if you’re an attractive, masculine, self-developing guy.
Your results in online dating AREN’T always correlated with the caliber of girl you can get in person.
I’ll cut the introductory rambling. Let’s get to the meat of this.
Which men succeed on the apps?
blah blah some statistic about how men swipe right on 69% of women while women swipe right on only 42.0% of men also did u know that women get many more matches than men blah blah yeah u already know this
Now, WHICH men do women choose to match with? More importantly, which men do they choose to MEET UP with?
There’s two categories, not one.
There’s seemingly high-status men who provide high superficial COMFORT, and seemingly high-status men who provide high superficial DESIRE.
Let’s start with the men who provide mostly COMFORT.
These are the men who women take it slow with, and are super invested in getting to know.
The online dating experience of these people goes something like:
*witty banter on the app*
*talking about your days*
“hey u wanna go on a date”
“sure :)”
*date ensues*
“hey i had a fun time on our date! (callback to something that happened there)”
This is the game of madonnas and providers. Women and men who lean into these archetypes will end up with something like the above.
Those who lean more “whore” and “lover” will have something more like:
“hey sexy ur so hot”
“haha thank you wyd”
*sexually charged messaging ensues*
“wanna come over and see my cat?”
“yesssss (devil emoji)”
*fucking ensues, then you never talk to each other again until one of you unsuccessfully tries to reach out for a round II*
Get it?
You will be at home with online dating if you can paint yourself in one of two ways:
- A cool, socially accepted and connected “normie” dude who knows the best date spots in town. This’ll get you the well-rounded madonnas who wanna be taken out on cute dates and shit. These are the text conversations you’ll be showing on the public TL
- A hot, dominant, successful guy who knows how to FUCK. Which will obviously get you the hot and horny girls who wanna get their rocks off. These are the text conversations you’ll keep to yourself (devil emoji)
Somehow, I’ve been both for different girls, and like the story of my buddy who was all comfort and no desire, my connections with these girls would never last. The girls who wanted me for “desire” reasons would just take the notch and go, and the girls who wanted me for “comfort” reasons, my “desire” tactics didn’t quite mesh with them.
Be aware of WHY you get the girls you get, gents.
Don’t expect a desire-fueled hookup to become a relationship, or a comfort-fueled series of dates to become a passionate sexual encounter. I mean, unless the comfort AND desire are both strongly there from the start.
You’ll meet some hot, decent girls on the apps if fate wills it.
In fact, a couple of the highest-quality girls I’ve ever dated, I met on the apps. If sweet, smart, and gorgeous is your type (it should be!), you CAN meet these girls on the apps.
But do you have to?
Which men don’t succeed on the apps?
Again, two kinds.
The first – losers. Men who don’t know how to market themselves as high-status. Men who look boring, needy, and low-energy in their photos. Enough said.
The second may astound you.
Men who are highly conscious and extremely spiritually developed won’t succeed on the apps either.
Not because they’re unattractive or anything. These are very high-quality men.
Their female counterparts are either already taken for the long-term, or can’t be arsed to set up online dating profiles.
These loving, integrated women either found their man a long while ago, or are so repulsed by most guys on the apps that they’d rather just wait to meet a great one in person. If they’re on the apps, it’s for a brief window of time before they either get snatched up or energetically repulsed.
Men like this are the same. Since the mixed bag of girls you’ll see on online dating is something like:
50% – vapid normie girls looking for attention/Instagram followers
25% – girls you don’t find attractive at all
24% – girls with some personality to them but not enough to really be “fuck yes” about going out with
1% – attractive girls who yes, you could see yourself meeting up with!
The effort-to-reward ratio may very well not be worth it!
So, should you do online dating?
Gitting gud at dating is a journey for all of us.
We all start wherever is right for us to start, and we all end up wherever is right for us to end up, however soon or long it takes for us to get there.
I do recommend online dating for certain guys, and I recommend other guys move on from it. My general heuristic is:
If you don’t have experience dating online, I recommend you do it. Set up a profile, get swiping, get matching, get dating (or fucking if that’s more for you). This can be a valuable learning experience in marketing yourself, and in dating both high-quality and low-quality girls. You will get to see girls you’d never meet any other way.
If you could use a notch to get some experience and confidence seducing a girl, online dating works well for that too. If you’re an especially attractive guy who’s horny and gets girls with his looks alone, online dating can be sex on speed-dial for you.
But the apps burn you out. At this point for me, and maybe for you, dear reader, they’ve gotten boring, draining, formulaic, predictable.
I recommend getting off the apps to guys who’ve been in the online dating game for a long while, have had their successes, and have little novelty to look forward to there. You’ve sharpened your edge in that arena, now it’s time to find a different one you’re not so confident in (yet!), whether it’s daygame, nightgame, or social circle game.
I’ve said all I want to say.
However experienced with the ladies you are or aren’t, the magic always happens in-person. Online dating can work as an auxiliary avenue of attraction, but you can’t use it as a crutch or as a replacement for meeting girls in the real world.
However you want to meet girls – on the street, at the bars, through friends, or online…
It’ll be so much easier with a mentor.
Work with me, and we’ll not only optimize your online game. We’ll get you powerful, confident, and capable enough to meet and attract girls ANYWHERE, no matter your circumstances.
See me in coaching!
– Ben
