Does “game” really seduce a girl?

It’s funny when I watch videos on the YouTube of guys seducing girls…

How easy they make it look.

Usually with a number-close that doesn’t go anywhere (but they won’t show that flaking on camera).

Aaaand sometimes, one of these guys gets lucky, and picks up a girl who DOES reply to his texts, go on a date with him, and even sleep with him!

Then he breaks it down moment by moment.

“I used this technique, she responded in this way. This works because…”

Much respect to any guy who challenges his comfort zone and tests himself in the arena of seduction, whether he gets rejected 100% of the time or gets some good results from it.

But I don’t want these successful pickup guys to delude you into thinking their game is what made or broke the girl’s interest. When a pickup guy picks up a girl who’s enthusiastic about seeing more of him, and you know what I mean by that…

The girl wanted to sleep with the guy the whole time, ever since their eyes first touched. His “game” was just an excuse, a social lubricant for her to act on her urges with him.

So while yes, guys SHOULD learn game and implement it, and it’s necessary to give a girl a fun experience with you, we need to be realistic.

Game isn’t a cure-all for your girl problems. If you work on yours with the intention of using it to convert otherwise disinterested girls into horny sex goddesses who crave your touch, your vibe is off. This is a needy, fantastical way of looking at seduction.

(and it’s the reason I used to work on mine before I started making major healthy leaps in my girl-getting mindsets. I don’t need to tell you how that turned out)

So when guy meets girl, runs some game, and gets her in bed, what really happened?

He found a girl who was horny. And willing to act on it.

She was already on the lookout for a guy to take her, just not being super obvious about it. Even before meeting him, she’d pre-consented to getting laid.

Truth is, like, probably, perhaps, maybe, perchance 80% of the seduction process was out of the lucky gentleman’s control. The girl had a sexual fantasy she was down to fulfil, and all the guy had to do was recognize what she wanted, and mold himself to it.

In these cases of successful seduction, good game wasn’t so much about spiking the girl’s interest, as it was about disarming the barriers she’d put around her sexuality – showing her you’re a safe, fun guy to act on her urges with, that you’re not needy, and that she can trust you to act like you’re leading the dance (when really, she’s the one pulling all the strings behind the scenes and you’re just along for the ride!)

Now I’ll be honest with you gentlemen. Seduction isn’t my strong suit, though I have pulled it off and gotten laid for it, even if I didn’t realize what I was REALLY doing at the time.

And despite how many strings these seduction guys actually AREN’T pulling, rather just positioning themselves in the right ways to let a girl have her way with them, I don’t begrudge them for it.

Finding a girl who wants a certain type of experience from a certain type of guy, and being able to play him for her is an extremely effective strategy in dating. Play yourself as a cool, high-status gent in a demographic she finds attractive, and she’s all yours! She’ll be smiling, laughing, investing in the conversation, and letting you lead her around…

(there’s healthy and unhealthy ways to do this; healthy when your game comes from a place of honesty, unhealthy when you fake yourself to get her validation)

But it’s not the only strategy that works. There is another.

Rather than reading her and (un)consciously molding yourself to fit her desires…

You flip the seduction dynamic.

You entice HER to game YOU.

But we’ll talk about that in the next email 🙂 (it’s here!)

See me in coaching when you’re ready for more advice like this, applied to your individual situation in the dating world.

Oh, and a complete transformation in how you relate to women on a sexual and personal level. You’re getting that too.


– Ben

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