You don’t have to be a seducer!

I briefly mentioned in yesterday’s email how seduction isn’t my strong suit.

Though I understand its power, and you should too. Seduction works because girls get horny too. She wants a certain experience from a guy, and if she can game you to entice you into gaming her, that’ll easily give you both what you want.

But that’s not my preferred style of game.

I can’t be arsed to seduce these days. I could pull it off in university, when I had the “cool, socially valuable party boy” image working for me, but now that my archetype’s evolved beyond that into something more unique, the pool of girls I’m capable of connecting with through it has gotten smaller (but much higher-quality 😉 )

Lucky for guys like me (and possibly you too, dear reader), you don’t have to let a girl pull all the strings if that method doesn’t vibe with you!

There’s another path to success with women that may work better for you.


While seduction works because it leverages a girl’s conscious thoughts, feelings, and fantasies in your favor, dominance works because it leverages a girl’s sex in your favor. You’re not targeting her conscious mind or the social roles she plays through her femininity, as much as her unconscious. Her base, foundational femininity.

Seduction is an indirect method of attraction. It’s a pulling strategy. You dance for the girl as she takes you.

Dominance is more direct. It pushes. The girl dances for you as you take her.

Dominance and seduction have the same goal though – giving you both a mutually rewarding, sexually charged experience. Only the process differs. On the path of seduction, the girl pursues you. You give her the puzzle pieces of a fantasy, and let her put them together. On the path of dominance, you show her a photo that’s already put together, and you let her take it or leave it. You pursue her.

Which one is more your style?

For me, dominance is what I prefer.

Rather than her enticing me to game her, I’m enticing her to game me. I’m basically telling her “I’m the man. You’re the woman. Dance for me. Show me your feminine gifts”.

Dominance means showing direct interest in a girl, whether through words or behavior, then letting her take it or leave it. It’s not as “gamey” as seduction is, though both methods are super effective in attracting women.

So which one should you use?

Depends what sort of girl you’re looking to attract, how quickly, and for what end. Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages, plus you don’t have to use one or the other. Whichever method you naturally prefer, you can implement elements of the other one to supercharge your game.

Seduction works best on girls who are strongly in their heads.

Dominance works best on girls who are strongly in their sex.

Getting a girl who’s strongly in her heart requires authenticity, but that’s a topic for another email.

(For more about these centers of energy, click here!)

If you’re looking to get a specific girl QUICKLY, seduction works best. It won’t drown her in tension like dominance often does, and your dynamic will have much implicit comfort right from the start, as she feels in control of the situation.

Plus it’ll work around any programming in her that makes her apprehensive about submitting to a guy.

In general, seduction is a smooth path for success with women. Play the role of the guy who can give her everything she wants, and she’s all yours. She won’t put up much resistance if she really likes you!

But pure seduction has a couple issues:

1. You’re not really in control of the process. As much as you think you’re seducing a girl to be with you, she’s playing you too. It’s good if you want the same thing from each other, but you will fail with seduction if you and the girl have mismatched expectations.

2. It doesn’t last. Sooner or later, you’ll see who each other REALLY is beyond the fantasies. So relationships built on pure seduction typically start out strong, then burn down slowly or quickly as the fantasy breaks and loses its novelty.

Dominance works best if you’re in no rush to get the girl. The more you push, the more she’ll push back. It’s another way of dancing with her, but unlike seduction, the beginning of a dominance-based connection can be ROUGH. Drowning her in tension, making her too uncomfortable to consider you as a genuine option for her is extremely easy if you don’t already have a lot of social attraction built up with her.

Because rather than leading her by making her feel in control of the dance, you’re gently, directly asserting all the control. It’s extremely likely for her to pull away to protect herself, however attracted she is on a base level. The more insecurities she has around her sex, the more she’ll feel conflicting emotions around a dominant man. A seductive man doesn’t run into this problem.

So if you’re trying to win over a girl through dominance, you have to do it slowly, over time, and be very very aware of her true feelings and intentions. A bit of this dominant energy goes a long way, and like with seduction, you have to pull back and let her play her part in the dance. Give her some space and let her come to you after you establish a bit of initial desire.

Building up social attraction with a girl you’re trying to dominate is usually required. She won’t quickly submit to you unless she either trusts you, or is extremely grounded in her primal, whoreish feminine energy.

Dominance and seduction are both balancing acts. Dominance starts out delicate and evolves to become easy, and seduction starts out easy and ends up delicate.

But you don’t have to have either of these problems.

Dominate her and seduce her at the same time.

You can recognize her conscious desires and play yourself to them, while also pleasing her sex by being direct, leading, and unapologetic about your visceral animal desire for her.

Whichever strategy is more “you”, let’s refine it in coaching while also getting you competent with the other one.

See me there!

When you’re ready to make cluelessness with women a thing of your past, that is.


– Ben

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