Most guys strongly understand the value of preselection.
If you LOOK like an attractive, high-status guy upon first impression, it’s incredibly easy to get unfamiliar girls interested in chatting with you, getting to know you better, and even hooking up with you if the circumstances and subjective vibe are conducive to that.
So gents, get in shape. Dress well. Hygiene and grooming and all that jazz. Find a scene you fit into and are high-status in. Be successful and make money, obviously (unless you’re a college student, in which case money doesn’t matter too much just yet).
But here’s the really fun part of working on preselection with my clients:
Because while preselection has its objective aspects (looks, money, status), there’s a subjectivity to it too.
What story is your first impression telling her? That’s how girls think. We men may judge women initially on their looks and how physically fuckable they are, but women’s first impression of us is primarily energetic – they intuitively think/feel: “what kind of life can this man give me?”
While women’s feminine essence universally runs on one core fantasy: Being deeply desired by a high-status, masculine man who breaks through her emotional barriers and takes her… The details of this desire vary. Is he a politician? A CEO? A rockstar? An artist? An adventurer? An athlete? A socialite?
Knowing this, you can use your subjective archetype to invoke that fantasy in women.
What kind of man are you?
If there’s one thing that makes a man BORING and DULL upon first impression, it’s a lack of care for his presentation. Subcommunicates that he’s a man with a weak sense of his deeper, higher purpose. He just takes what life gives him and doesn’t alchemize it towards something greater.
Quick fix for your preselection and overall self-confidence:
DON’T look like your outfit was randomly thrown together from the first few things you blindly pulled out of your closet.
DON’T look generic. Otherwise you’ll be forgettable. Plenty of guys assume that dressing masculine means wearing dull, boring, purely utilitarian clothes. Wrong. They’re just afraid of standing out.
No way in hell should you be dressing like a 10-year-old whose parents buy all his clothes either. No superhero t-shirts. No extremely baggy pants. No multicolored running shoes.
Again, there are some objective elements here: Make sure your clothes fit, the colors go well together, and they’re weather-appropriate. Dress like a man, not like a little boy.
The archetypal, subjective elements here are where things get reeeeeal fun.
There’s no ONE right way to present yourself well.
You’ll look good in basically any masculine clothing if you have a strong body, keep yourself fit, and eat good food.
But what story is your presentation telling about you?
Good style is situational.
A man in a tailored suit will be well-dressed at a corporate boardroom meeting, and very out of place at a death metal concert.
A man in a black tank top and ripped jeans will be well-dressed at that concert, and inappropriately dressed in that corporate boardroom.
An athletic guy will look great in fitted sweatpants and a hoodie, but the same style on a guy whose interests are primarily intellectual and abstract won’t be so pleasing to the eyes. He’ll look best in more refined clothing.
Good style is also authentic.
Your visual archetype must come from a deep sense of purpose. You can’t affect it for transactional reasons. You must communicate your true values through your clothing and presentation. Don’t try to be a man you aren’t. Be YOURSELF.
You don’t have to stick to one archetype either. Your style, like you, is fluid and constantly evolving. You may dress like a fighter in sweatpants and a cut-off shirt when you’re at the fighting gym, then change into a Hawaiian shirt and board shorts for drinks with the boys.
As for what I consciously go for in my style, I go for a utilitarian but refined look. It communicates one of my current journeys in life – getting good at business. As well as both my athletic and creative sides. I like to describe my archetype as “warrior poet”, and I attract the girls who are in the market for a warrior poet like me very easily 😉
So gents, what kind of man are you and how do you communicate it through your appearance? Align your appearance with your deeper life purposes, and the girls who are right for you will have a much easier time knowing you’re the man for them at first sight.
If you’re a rugged nature-loving guy, dress like it, and you’ll catch the eye of the girls who care about the same things you do.
If you’re a cocky socialite of a guy, wear the rakish, trendy clothing. You’ll catch the eye of the girls who are looking for a guy just like you.
If you’re a grungy punk rock type of guy who likes tattoos and piercings, you know exactly what about you will attract the girls you like at first sight.
Et freakin cetera. Incorporate aspects of every masculine purpose you have into your style and presentation. You don’t have to box yourself into a stereotype.
But don’t assume the clothes are what make you attractive.
Masculine energy is the one, the only thing that fundamentally attracts women. Your clothes are only a means to express it, so never assume a girl’s disinterested in you because you’re wearing the wrong shirt or some stupid rationalization like that.
Let’s optimize your masculine energy in coaching, and make cluelessness with women a thing of your past.
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