When an older woman’s hotter than a younger girl

As much as I hate clubbing and drinking for its own sake, I felt called to join some people for some bar-hopping this American Thanksgiving. I’m staying at a hostel as I wait to move into an apartment, and I’ve naturally met people there, some of whom wanted to have some fun that night.

(If I’m drinking or going out, it’s gotta be for Project X level shit, or meeting hot girls. Otherwise what’s the point?)

One lady in this ragtag group of drinkers stood out to me. She was about a decade older than me, yet I was getting a hard-on just sitting and talking with her. She was the only person I met that night who got my animalistic sexual instinct going.

Even the objectively pretty 21-year-old Korean girl in a tight white dress with us didn’t turn me on. As much as I pulled the usual game and tension-building with her, I couldn’t bring myself to desire her with my sex or my heart, just with my mind and my ego. And the 22-year-old Argentinian girl with tight bright skin and a curvy body type I find attractive, I found her objectively pretty too, but I still couldn’t muster up the animal desire I need to feel comfortable pursuing a girl.

Weird, huh?

Men prefer youth in women on a biological level. It communicates fertility and purity, both valuable traits in women. You as a man would be LYING if you said this didn’t turn you on, or that, all other things made equal, you’d pick a woman who’s older than you over a woman who’s younger than you.

But not all hope is lost for the ladies who are slowly losing their youth. If they understand ONE foundational thing, they can have their pick of quality men even in their 30s and beyond.

Here’s the advantage this older lady had over the younger girls, and why she got me going unlike every other female person I met that night:

She was feminine.

And these younger girls, good-looking as they were, were much less so. There was very little sexual energy radiating from them. They were soft but not warm or electrifying to the touch, unlike this older lady, who I just fucking pounced on when we got to the dance floor.

(For ethical reasons, I wasn’t going to sleep with her that night, turned on as I was by her, but I decided to still enjoy the flow of sexual energy she stimulated in me and go as far as I could with her before she made me stop)

There were at least two other guys in the group who wanted to fuck her, while the younger girls were basically sexually non-present, aside from one who got paired off with a guy early in the night and it was a given that she’d end up with him, and even her sexual energy was only a fraction of the older lady’s.

The younger girls were wearing baggy, plain clothing, while the older lady was in a tight dress (and she was in good shape!), and while that did make her more pleasant to look at, it’s not the #1 thing that made her the most attractive lady I met that night. She could have been in sweatpants and a hoodie, and still have turned me on. Plus, the Korean girl was dressed well and even she didn’t turn my sex on.

Her ENERGY was what made all the difference.

Those younger girls felt cold, stale, non-giving on an energetic level. They weren’t masculine, but they weren’t grounded in their femininity either. They were dissociated from their sex, and treated it as a purely performative thing.

The older lady felt warm, giving, inviting, radiant.

Again, she was FEMININE. Grounded in her sex. Unashamed of it. Consciously or not, she understood that her SEX is the foundation of her being, not simply an image or a burden or a way of presentation.

It’s this polarity that got my masculine pursuing her automatically and naturally. There was nothing conscious or forced about me going after her. In fact, I had to consciously HOLD MYSELF BACK from just fucking taking her, as I’m saving my sexuality for more meaningful things and I don’t want to expend my sexual energy on situational one-night-stands.

This woman ENJOYED being a woman, unlike these girls, one of whom only spoke of her sex in terms of victimhood. (“It’s hard to be a woman because…” FUCK YOU)

That’s today’s advice in a nutshell – Being an attractive woman starts with LOVING and ENJOYING being a woman.

It’s the same thing for you gentlemen:

Being an attractive man is all about being grounded in your sex. Being fully aware of your sexual energy. Enjoying being a MAN, not just a person who happens to be male. That’s why I’m a sexual energy coach, not simply a dating coach.

As much as this woman attracted me because of her energy, I also attracted her because of mine. She was holding herself back from pouncing on me too.

This is what being an extremely masculine, integrated man is like.

There’s a difference between being physically male, and energetically male.

Your masculinity isn’t defined by the size of your social circle, lifestyle, bank account, muscles, or other assorted body parts.

Your masculinity is an energetic orientation towards the world, not a series of behaviors and material things. Not a persona or a performance or an image.

Understand this, and attracting + gaming feminine, warm, giving women like the one I met last night becomes as easy as breathing.

You don’t have to be super fit, rich, or socially successful to GET the women you really want, unlike what some other gurus may tell you. These things absolutely matter, and you have no excuse not to improve your body, finances, and lifestyle, as that all makes you respect yourself more and meet women much more easily…

But these things are all EXTENSIONS to and CONDUITS for your masculine energy, not its source.

Masculine energy is the #1 fundamental thing that GETS you those sweet, warm, feminine women. You can cultivate it, control it, and integrate all its dimensions no matter your material situation in life.

See me in coaching when you’re ready to embody the full extent of your masculine, and get the extremely feminine women who crave exactly that.

Fill out the form and we’ll go from there.


– Ben

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