Women have a dark, destructive, manipulative side.
Mainstream dating advice pretends it doesn’t exist. Redpill/manosphere/PUA dating advice assumes it’s all there is. Women are much more complicated than their sex, shadow, mind, or heart alone. If you can’t see women (and yourself) holistically, then you will be constantly blindsided in the dating world, as I see with the large demographics of clueless men in their heads dissociated from their masculinity, masculine but emotionally naive men who reduce themselves (and the women they desire) to purely their foundational sexual roles, pickup artists who are good at seducing women but not so good at dominating them, and all their female counterparts.
Now as much as I stay out of Twitter drama, I butted into some recently. Pat’s side of things is his story to tell, but here’s mine.
I called Roobz out directly, succinctly, unapologetically for a few reasons:
1. She’s a big account in our corner of the bird app, a public figure in some ways. If she only had a few thousand followers, I wouldn’t bother. But she has a much larger audience than I, a lot more people to set a good example for.
2. I’m a man, and men stand up for their brothers when someone tries tarnishing their name.
If you don’t already get why Pat acted how he did, and why I did, then you are LARPing the full extent of your masculinity and not someone I will ever trust with my life.
3. I feel that she’s a good person overall. Everyone makes mistakes indeed, and what separates us isn’t whether we fuck up or hurt someone. We all do at some point. But when I made some of my worst ones, I ended up taking major responsibility to fix myself up, rather than hiding my shortcomings behind vague, generic platitudes like “we’ve all done things we regret, especially when we’re younger”
Enough about what inspired this piece now.
Let’s get to the lessons in it.
Before we move forward, I want to clear one major thing up:
This is NOT an anti-women piece.
This is an ANTI-MALE STUPIDITY piece.
I know some dumb fucks will see this and think – “Ben’s a misogynist! Ben said mean things about women and we should all cancel him for daring to call misbehaving women out on their bullshit like an absolute jerk!”
No. I simply understand that women are people. This is the opposite of a misogynistic mindset. I’m not here to hate on women as a whole, I’m here to educate men on how to handle conflicts with women better.
If I was to list every woman I’ve met who’s made my life better, happier, and more worth living, that would take a long while. I love women AND treat them like the flawed, imperfect, teachable PEOPLE they are. Some of you “men” need to realize that even pretty, popular, successful women are fallible, and pedestalizing them is the spiritual equivalent of locking your cock up in a cage.
Even otherwise “good girls” with positive character qualities can engage in games and manipulation (both the ones who LARP good values as an image to endear themselves to men who also LARP these values, and genuinely amazing women who actually ARE ready to surrender themselves to strong, masculine men with integrity). We all have our shadows.
While it does SUCK that women can engage in shitty behavior, what sucks even more is that WEAK MEN TOLERATE IT and allow these women to keep at it.
These weak men are the problem many more times so than the women in their lives are. I won’t be telling the ladies how to act better here; I’ll be bitching out the gents.
Some of these women are genuinely good people who simply have trauma + emotional pain + a lack of awareness holding them back from showing up as their fullest, most loving, most feminine, most integrated selves, and actually want to love and give and improve as people but aren’t entirely sure how to go about it. Other women are irreversibly broken and will never, absolutely never do the work to become better people and better women.
You as a man must discern who’s who, and never be apologetic or flaccid about putting up healthy boundaries with women.
And if you can’t think critically about why certain people act the way they do without jumping into slander and strawman arguments about how black and white the world is, you can kindly fuck off.
I don’t ask that Roobz change who she is, just that she become more aware about the impact her presence and her actions have on people, both the positive and negative ones. This is a teachable moment, not a crucifixion.
But as much as she inspired this piece, its take-aways won’t be about her or for her. They’ll be for the men who her online presence resonates with. I coach men. I don’t coach women.
A lesson in female nature
Women have a different orientation to reality than we do. Their femininity is supposed to work complementary to our masculinity, but when they’re psychologically unhealthy or hurting, they can be just as cruel and manipulative and destructive as we men can be when we’re hurting.
Femininity can be a force of destruction as well as creation. Just like masculinity.
Don’t ever assume that a woman being young and/or pretty means she’s a delicate little innocent flower who can do no wrong and take no shit. This is precisely the image they use to manipulate weak men into doing their bidding.
Not enough men understand this, but women are masterly at playing psychological and social games to angle other people into meeting their needs, while protecting themselves from harm and challenge (even challenge that would help them grow as people if they’d embrace it for what it is). The average woman is better at this by 20 than 99% of men will ever be by 80.
Unless you’re super strongly grounded in your masculinity AND emotionally discerning, you’ll buy her image and her manipulation instead of seeing it for what it really is: A psychological warfare campaign with the strategy of meeting her emotional needs, however unclassy her methods are. Her dedicated male orbiters are her foot soldiers. Her ungrounded rationalizations are her calls to arms. The walls around her heart are the bunker she keeps her high-ranking officers “safe” in. Her stories of victimhood are her smoke grenades. False accusations are her precision missile strikes that’ll wipe out any man’s frame but the strongest.
On a biological/primal/foundational level, she does this because a man has the physical capacity to survive on his own in harsh settings. He can physically bend an environment to his will. Women don’t have this physical fortitude, unless they’re genetic freaks. So they have to survive by bending the environment to their will SOCIALLY. One primal, existential fear of theirs is being ostracized from the tribe, but unlike men, who can afford to risk social ostracism for the greater good, women just CAN’T.
Unintegrated women (most women in their childhood/teen years/even early-late 20s in many cases) don’t have any deeply held values above whatever will endear them to the most powerful, socially valuable men (or masculine, directing societal forces) they can safely bond themselves to. This doesn’t make them bad people, this makes them WOMEN.
These values they assimilate from their environment and from masculinity can be positive and healthy and empowering, or negative and destructive and narcissistic. Don’t judge a woman by WHETHER attention is the fuel of her feminine essence; all women are like that. Judge her by what QUALITY OF ATTENTION she seeks out and vibes with.
Women will rationalize irrationally, endlessly, anything that will meet their needs for safety and social status. Women NEED attention, and unhealthy ones will play social/psychological games to ensure this need is met at all costs, even at the cost of their personal integrity.
As a man, you must know WHY women engage in bad behavior, and HOW to deal with it.
Women act out and behave poorly when their foundational needs for positive attention and security aren’t met.
Without this attention, she can’t receive provision or protection or fuel for procreation. She’ll die, on an existential level.
A lack of positive attention, a lack of security makes women go into “survival mode”. They’ll lash out, act out, do ANYTHING to angle the most masculine forces they can influence to protect them and provide for them. Yes, this always trumps their self-respect and integrity. Women don’t treat respect and honor like we men do, if we’re really men.
This “bad behavior” of theirs is a cry for help. It’s a cry for connection, however destructive it is. When a woman throws a fit, 99% chance it’s because she feels unloved and isolated.
And the worst, the absolute fucking worst thing penis-havers do when a woman acts out or disrespects them is…
They let her get away with it, and take it at face value.
Maybe they just ignore it and avoid it.
At best, these fake men have a limp-dicked energy body and can only penetrate her logical arguments with a somewhat-hard spiritual penis, then either go even softer or prematurely ejaculate and let her drain them of life force.
But if you’re really a man with a brain and a heart and a bulge in his pants, you know a woman’s logical arguments are simple psychological warfare, not what she’s actually thinking/feeling.
If you really don’t care for a woman or she’s unforgivably disrespected you, wipe her army out. Tell the truth at all costs. Call her out on her bullshit wholeheartedly. Give her an inch of surrendered territory, she’ll take a mile. Don’t let her take that mile.
She’ll continue her psychological warfare and frame YOU as the big meanie who hurt this poor little lady’s feelings :'( make up all sorts of false accusations about you, and run to the weak, limp-dicked orbiters she manipulates for validation and protection.
Remember, this is her protecting herself because she feels weak, powerless, unfeminine, unlovable, alone. Her psychological warfare is a complex defense mechanism ungrounded in reality. Anyone with eyes and a functional cock will see you for who you truly are instead of filling out an application to be the next new hire on her team of orbiters.
Now, there’s nuance to this. There’s a time to be harsh, and a time to be soft. Even women who love you wholeheartedly will act out and behave poorly sometimes. But before we get more into that, we need to get into something just as pertinent.
The fake men who enable fake women
We’ve gone over how femininity foundationally works – it assimilates its form from the masculine. Whereas masculinity thrives when it’s directING, femininity thrives when it’s directED.
So girls such as Roobz who come from solid, loyal, traditional families know exactly who to market themselves to – Men whose ideal life is that same sort of family life with a woman who’s strongly in the “madonna” archetype.
This marketing/persona doesn’t make Roobz a bad or fake person in the slightest – it means she’s smart. As much as weak men fall for the fantasy and wish they could fuck and/or marry her, their idealizations of her are their problem, not hers.
I don’t entirely know whether it’s intentional predation on these men’s attention, but I know this for sure:
If you’re a man who falls victim to idealizations about women, you are playing yourself much more than they are playing you. It’s your own damn fault for not taking more responsibility for your self-awareness, for not doing the deep psychological work to get your spiritual, holistic shit together.
Once you’ve got that in check, few women will ever be able to fool you. See me in coaching when you’re ready for a couple months of it.
Now, Roobz isn’t the only “good girl” on Twitter who’s acted like a snake behind the scenes.
The phenomenon of fake, manipulative “good girls” didn’t start accidentally, What kind of man is this variant of woman looking to endear herself to?
Fake, snake “good guys” who ALSO LARP their “good values” and are dishonest about the skeletons in their own closets.
Too many men forget this fundamental truth about women:
You don’t treat them like you do your brothers. You don’t sacrifice your integrity to satisfy their superficial wants. You don’t assume they’re anything but women.
If you’re a man, that is.
I can’t say that for a ton of penis-havers I see occupying space online and offline, who don’t fucking act like there’s anything between their legs. These orbiters don’t have any values above “what will get women superficially approving of me?”
I have a 0-tolerance policy for men who display any inkling of this mindset in my life. I keep them at arm’s length, if anywhere at all. This is the sort of man who will ALWAYS sell you out when a woman who knows what makes him tick names the right price.
Plenty of “men” today have never cracked open a Bible and read the story of Adam and Eve. or ever learnt to say “NO” to a woman. They take women’s words and demands at face value, and assume that giving/receiving respect invariably means keeping the peace 100% of the time, and never rocking the boat or risking offence (unless it’s in agreement with what a woman’s saying).
These men, whether or not they’re grounded in their masculinity, are SUCKERS for a woman who knows how to play them.
And until they can release their need for women’s approval, release their unconscious desire for mommy to warmly hug them, do the work to integrate masculinity and femininity and every version of their own self together within them, and learn to be the sort of man who protects and provides for women and his other loved ones SPIRITUALLY, instead of just physically and materially and socially…
These men will only ever get women who also choose to live beneath their fullest potential.
What if you love each other?
Despite women’s hindbrain survivalist solipsism, it IS possible to help them learn and grow and become better people, especially if you’re in a close relationship. Especially if you trust each other and are committed to each other.
Again, you CAN’T reduce a woman to being only a product of her sex, shadow, mind, or heart. To see a woman for the unique individual she truly is, you must take ALL these sides of her into account.
Women will never take responsibility for their shortcomings if it means potentially losing attention or social status or “branch swinging” downward. They don’t run on honor and respect like we men do. To a woman’s base nature, sex and attention ARE respect.
So to help a woman become a better person and a better woman, you need to help her open up and face her bullshit in a safe context, where she knows she will receive more love and connection from the world’s masculinity for doing so.
Don’t argue with her. Don’t challenge her logical points. Simply tell the truth. Call a spade a spade.
You need to validate her and show her how much you truly appreciate her, even when she’s acting like a shithead.
Give her love AND call her out on her bullshit, not just one or the other.
(this works for other people in your life too, male friends included!)
Don’t coddle her, nor antagonize her. Have a firm yet soft hand with her. Be gentle and a man.
How exactly do you pull this off? And get the woman/women in your life more attracted, more loyal, and more feminine with you for it?
We’ll go over that in coaching.
If you’re a man, not simply a penis-haver who views superficial female approval as the ultimate mission of his life.
This coaching program is the amalgamation of nearly a decade of trial, error, mentorship, failure, success, hardship, and fun in the domain of women and sexuality. You’re getting my entire education downloaded into your handsome head in just a few months.
Don’t put the pussy on a pedestal,