How I cured my seasonal depression

Every year from late October/early November until March, my mood and enjoyment of life used to take a nosedive.

“Welp, here’s good ol’ seasonal depression again, just gotta wait till March to feel happy again”

That’s what I used to think.

In the winters, I could be on my feet all day, get work done, socialize, train, eat, and all that jazz, but I’d have to force myself to do it at worst, and lack a certain joie de vivre at best.

Fuck me for being cursed with seasonal depression, right?

I used to think it was a purely psychological thing, probably just the seasons of my social life changing. Life circumstances getting to me.

Until one year, I got my testosterone and vitamin D tested together. Both came back at the bottom end of the normal range.

My testosterone is a story in itself (wearing sunscreen all summer had shot it, and there’s other times in my life it’s been low. I’ve spent some time figuring out how to optimize my T, to say the least)

Now guess what I started supplementing soon after, that eliminated my “seasonal depression” every year from then on.

Vitamin D, of course.

It’s been in the “background” of my supplement regimen ever since, not really something I’d put too much attention on, until I stopped taking it, and…

My seasonal depression came back during a workout a short while back, despite me living in sunny Miami at the time.

And again here in Nashville, yesterday when everything was closed down due to the weather (which would be a normal January day up in Ontario, where I’m from). I couldn’t get any work done no matter how many productivity hacks I tried nor how much I tried forcing myself to, so I took my heaviest Depression Nap™ in years instead.

10k IU of vitamin D later, I felt like myself again each time. My will to live came right back. My capacity to take action and thrive came right back.

(DISCLAIMER: This isn’t medical advice. The dosage of vitamin D I’m mentioning here is what I’ve found to be optimal for me personally and ACUTELY. What’s optimal for you may vary. Even 1-5k a day has made a stark difference to me. Do NOT take more than 4,000-5,000 IU of vitamin D daily, or you may risk developing hypercalcemia, as I have learnt the hard way after I wrote this piece)

All these years I’ve silently suffered through “seasonal depression” were perfectly avoidable. All it would have taken was some small vitamin D caps I could have gotten at a local store.

Vitamin D is one of the most crucial vitamins in your body. You need it for bone health, muscle health, brain health, immune system health, and testosterone production.

So of course I’ve felt like shit whenever I’ve been deficient in it.

But I’m not here to simply preach the gospel of vitamin D. There’s a bigger lesson in this.

Feeling like shit is a perfectly rational response to not getting your needs met.

Knowing this, I cured my “dating life depression” too.

Women and your emotional needs

Whereas curing my physical depression and other physical ailments was a matter of addressing my body’s biochemical needs (proper nutrition/supplementation and training)…

Curing my emotional pains was a matter of addressing my emotional needs. Validating them. Understanding them for what they are. And learning to meet them in healthy ways. Unlike how I used to, messing with the wrong girls and the wrong ways of being. Sweeping them under the rug only led to greater pain.

You’ll fail HARD in dating when you outsource your emotional needs to the girls you’re into. You’ll fail HARD in self-actualization when you outsource your emotional needs to people/pursuits who can’t meet them.

(just like I used to think lifting weights and eating meat + vegetables would solve all my little health issues)

Validation-seeking. Codependency. Obsessive fantasy. Repression. Those are just a few pitfalls people fall into when their emotional needs are unaddressed.

So.

The solution to those issues?

Fucking address your needs. Be unflinchingly honest about them. And demand you meet them.

Or else you’ll either deny them or refuse to explore them, and quietly suffer for it (like I used to with my body’s seasonal depression), or unfairly project them onto people who can’t and shouldn’t be obligated to meet them. You may even wind up in a toxic relationship made of two people projecting their unmet emotional needs onto each other.

Or perhaps you’ll find a healthy relationship where both parties inspire each other to meet their own needs better.

But you can always do this work on your own (with me teaching you how, preferably). You don’t need a relationship for it.

When it appears as if the only way you’ll ever be happy is to get x thing from a girl/your dating life…

You’re her/its bitch.

Until you take your emotional vitamin D.

Until you realize what you REALLY need, that’ll ACTUALLY make you happy, and give it to yourself before seeking it in something/someone external.

So brother, if you’re hung up on a girl/girls in general…

What’ll make you feel like yourself again?

Even “successful” men, whether they can get laid easily or they’re in a relationship, can struggle to meet their needs when a woman isn’t in the picture.

Just like learning to understand the intricacies of my body’s biochemical needs cured my seasonal depression, my sleep issues, and other past dysfunctions of mine, even if I could get into great shape while dealing with it all…

Learning to understand the true intricacies of your emotional needs will cure your “dating life depression”.

And propel you to long-term prosperity in it much much faster. Along with giving you razor-sharp vibe checking skills. You can’t see a girl objectively when you NEED something from her, but once you’ve worked through all your neediness, you’ll be dating on Godmode.

Knowing what I know now about diet, supplementation, and recovery, I could have avoided YEARS of stagnation and mistakes in my fitness + mental health, and get into my best shape ever in mere months, avoiding years of mistakes and failed workouts.

Same thing for dating.

Knowing precisely how to meet all your needs is a superpower.

Are you ready to learn the intricacies of emotional/sexual chemistry, from an experienced coach who sees YOU sharply and objectively?

Fill out the form when you’re ready to be my next client whose dating life does a 180 in only a month!

– Ben


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