How to appear high-status with low preselection

Spontaneous Twitter musings of mine today:

“I’m convinced that STATUS is the #1 thing women look for in men.

More so than looks/physique, game, or your personality connection.

If you don’t look like you can provide her with the high-status life…

You’re under-the-radar hookup material at best.

I say this because my dating life only ever took off when my social life did.

And when my social life’s been dead, my dating life’s been dead too.

I have a fit physique, engaging hobbies, game, ambition, masculinity, and an integrated personality…

Yet my CIRCLE/perceived social status always makes the difference in how receptive girls are to me.

They’re often apprehensive/guarded meeting me when I’m by myself, but much more open to meeting me when I’m with friends or I “fit in” to the setting.


(link to original tweets)

Lemme tell ya, this is one of my biggest dating frustrations as an introverted guy who goes his own way in life, and who likes to prioritize the individual personality connection between himself and the girls he’s into.

I’m fit, well-dressed, and masculine. I keep myself busy and productive and know how to have fun. I’m psychologically healthy and I have game…

Yet in my experience, who my friends are and my perceived social status near-ubiquitously determines how open or apprehensive girls are to meeting me.

Fucking hell.

I’ve worked around this with the right game and the right framing tactics, but still. I hate relying on my friends/social circle to meet girls and need to get better at that.

Being high-status by a girl’s standards means you’re dating on Easy mode, gentlemen.

I’m sure you already know this, but it’s worth mentioning: Women put up significantly fewer barriers between themselves and high-status, high-value men. Women judge men on STATUS before looks, before personality, before anything.

“Is he a socially valuable guy who can provide me with a better lifestyle?” Is what women think upon meeting new men, consciously and not.

If you don’t have status and other preselection framing you as an attractive man, you need to compensate HARD with your game for a fighting chance in the dating world.

At the same time, being strongly preselected gives you a lot of leeway with game. You’ll even want to tone it down and “act normal” most of the time, if you’re preselected heavily enough. Girls will even approach you and initiate with you a lot, and be more readily receptive when you open them.

You can’t neglect preselection or game though. Just like guys with game but low preselection lose out on opportunities they could have gotten if they were passively framed better, some guys with high preselection who don’t understand game lose opportunities for their lack in active framing.

Your dating life could be a drought, then once you pick up some momentum in your social life, opportunities and new girls become abundant. As I said on Twitter today, that’s been my experience, and probably yours too.

Why women want men of status

Status means security to a girl.

She wants to FEEL SAFE with her man, like he can defend and provide for her and their children.

A strong physique helps with that, but we don’t live in caveman times. Women judge your potential for security by much more than whether you can beat the shit out of another man.

(looks absolutely matter though. your physique and genetic strength determine how hot the girls you can “afford” are)

A girl doesn’t only care for you. She cares for the life you can provide her. She cares for the world you can bring her into.

It’s not just your warm embrace she feels safe in. She feels safe and secure being a valued part of your world. That’s why yachts, cool jobs, and even simply having a vibrant social life are such effective preselection factors.

Women are attracted to WORLDS more than to men, at least in the initial stages of meeting you.

(game matters, physique matters, archetype matters, energy matters massively, your psychological health/integration and your subjective personality connection all matter whether or not you’re framed as high-status, but this email isn’t about any of that)

I shouldn’t have to tell you how you can become higher-status and improve your preselection. Should be fucking obvious. Make cool friends. Get into a social scene you like. Have a fun, abundant lifestyle. GIT GUD at something that adds value to the world and gets attention. Position/frame yourself as a cool, socially valuable guy. Dress well, dress to an archetype. Get in shape.

What ISN’T so fucking obvious is how to frame yourself as high-status when those things AREN’T in the picture.

Because look, brother.

Life transitions happen. Sometimes shit goes south. Sometimes you’ll be by yourself, whether or not you’re somewhere new. Sometimes your life’s in a season where you’re not so established. So while you should obviously get your preselection together, it can take time to build. And before it’s built, you have no excuse not to pursue the girls you desire and keep your game sharp.

(I’m in such a season currently. I’ve just moved to a new city and haven’t established a social life here yet. No excuses though. I’ll be getting right on that!)

Again, you need game that’ll frame you as high-status. If your surroundings aren’t doing it, your behavior 100% has to.

Your game has to exude NON-NEEDINESS.

It’s okay to have mediocre game when your preselection’s high (girls will make excuses for you if you’re “hot enough”), but you CAN’T show ANY neediness when your preselection’s low.

Women judge men’s status by behavior when material assets aren’t in the picture. And the behavioral trait they look for is how NEEDY a man is.

A needy man is low-status. He needs something from others to feel good about himself.

A non-needy man is high-status. He has a full cup to pour from, energetically and emotionally speaking.

I could give you a bunch of tactics I used to use back in my “game” days that worked to frame me well (at least until my persona cracked and my true needy self came out), but those aren’t nearly as effective as doing the deep work and ACTUALLY becoming non-needy.

Once you’ve done that, ALL your behaviors will automatically become non-needy, and they’ll be coming from a place of authenticity, not thinly-veiled “game”. However fun and exciting and polarizing they are.

So let’s do coaching.

I’m a master at the deep work and the superficial, tactical work.

Whatever neediness lingers inside you, I’ll help you clear it out. And you’ll start radiating the magnetic, non-needy energy beautiful women crave in men.

Combine good preselection with good game and every little deep or shallow thing I’ll teach you in coaching, and your dating life’s gonna get reeeeeally fun and abundant. 😉

Fill out the form and we’ll go from there.

– Ben

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