How to evaluate your dating coach

There’s a lot of dating coaches out there, gentlemen.

I’m far from the only guy in this industry.

*audible gasp*

And there’s some gals too.

But not all of us are cut from the same cloth.

While “I used to suck with the ladies, then I learned a few things and got better” is the ubiquitous theme of our stories (and the guys who seek us out)… The details vary. Did this guru get broken up with by his high school or college sweetheart? Or did he want a high school/college sweetheart but never get her? (that was me!) Was he a virgin till 16, 18, 21, 25, 30? Does he sleep around, date around, or seek relationships? Is he married? Divorced? Is he a patriarch, playboy, pickup artist, pimp, average Joe..?

You’ll want to pick a coach who understands where you’re coming from. Do you speak the same language energetically? Do you have similar frames of reference (or is he at least open to understanding yours)?

What life experiences has he had? Are they similar to yours, or quite different?

So here’s the first criteria to judge him (or her) by, especially if you’re looking for a coach to invest in and work one-on-one with:

Which girls does this dating guru teach you how to get?

Is he a married man who’ll teach you how to get a mature, devoted wife?

Is he a rich webcam pimp who gets the girls who fuck with those circles?

Is he a street seducer who lives for cold approaching random girls in public?

Is he a club player who’s high-status in that scene and gets the girls who care for that stuff?

Does he get girls through comfort and conversation and shared interests? Showing off his physique, wealth and status? Drunken dalliances? Fateful encounters? Through his hobbies and interests?

Are they superficial girls? Normie girls? Alternative girls? Party girls? Working class girls? Middle class girls? Posh girls? Academics? Instagram model types? Nerdy girls? Horny college girls? Horny post-college girls?

Does he get his girls through cold approach, social circle game, at the bars, on social media, at the church? Which circles do those girls hang out in?

These gurus teach you how to get girls, sure. And they tend to do it well.

But WHO are these girls?

The ladies are as diverse as we gents are.

One dating guru’s dream girl may not be your type at all, and following his advice may not actually work to get you the girls aligned with YOU.

Here’s one question that’ll reveal whether I’m a good fit for you:

Which girls will I teach you how to get?

I’ve gotten a few girls in the past, yes. And had hot, sweaty sex with them. But these girls (and the ones I’ll get in the future) are likely not the ones who’d jump on you.

So, question.

Should you fill out the form and work with me?

Answer:

Yes, if you feel called to.

I’m not like most dating gurus where I disproportionately focus on one demographic or one method of meeting, seducing, retaining the ladies.

I teach you how to get the girls YOU want.

Whether you’re a super young guy just starting out in the dating scene, a guy with some life experience who’s looking to maximize the quality of his female options, a guy with a normie career, an entrepreneur, an intellectual guy, a guy who’s more hands-on or not so intellectual…

I’ve worked with all those types before.

And given them results.

How do my clients meet their girls?

I don’t fucking know. I don’t usually ask them. But they meet those girls after working with me because as a dating coach, I teach them fundamental principles of attraction that work EVERYWHERE.

More importantly, as a dating coach, I practice a skill that sets me apart from much of the other coaching/advice/mental health professionals. It’s another green flag to look for in someone you’ll be working with.

I listen to you.

Then I tailor my advice to where you’re coming from, and your individual goals, wants, and needs.

I don’t just throw advice and monologues at you and hope it all sticks.

Lord knows that’s the most frustrating way to receive help from someone. When the guy giving you advice doesn’t hear you out or give you room to breathe. When he likes to hear himself talk more than he likes to actually get to know where you’re coming from, or assumes the wrong things about you based on the little details you give him during the brief moments where he actually lets you talk without jumping in to say something himself.

I give you the advice YOU need to hear, that I know will help YOU.

I’ve tried therapy twice in my young life, and this was one of my gripes with it. The therapists I tried didn’t understand where I was coming from. They just gave me some generic questions trying to see if I had depression or anxiety, asked me basic “how are your relationships with your friends/family?” questions, and weren’t actually invested in helping me. I was just a routine “let’s half-listen to this guy vent, then give him some generic advice before collecting my money” hour in the schedule to them.

I’m not like that.

My clients get results in one month or one call with me because I actually want them to succeed. I do all I can to genuinely, quickly, effectively help them. Working with me isn’t cheap, but it works wonders. One-time investment at the start, instead of me milking your wallet session after session. Premium products have a premium (yet still affordable) price, gentlemen.

It’s a thinly-veiled sales pitch, but it’s true.

Anyhoo, this email’s gone on long enough. I have another green flag in mind that’ll help you select the dating coach you’ll be working with (hopefully it’s me!), but I’ll let that one have its own email.

Now here’s a couple things for you to check out, dear newsletter subscriber.

I did a bit of work on my website yesterday.

I updated my front page. Styled it like a resume, organized and concise, so you’ll get to know me, my experience, and what I’m all about more easily.

I also updated the coaching page, so you’ll get to know what I have to offer you in coaching just as easily.

You know what to do now, whether you’re ready to quickly, deeply transform your dating life, get to know me and my work better, or just reply to me with any questions, comments, queries, statements that are on your mind 🙂

Take care,

– Ben


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