How to evaluate your dating coach: Part II

Wassup gentlemen, here’s a continuation to last night’s email.

Last time, we talked mostly about demographics.

You should evaluate the dating coach whose advice you take by WHICH girls he gets, and therefore, teaches you how to get. Not just by WHETHER he gets girls.

Does he teach you to get girls who are aligned with YOU, or girls HE’S aligned with but you aren’t?

Dating advice ISN’T one-size-fits-all.

If he understands where you’re coming from and tailors his advice to YOUR demographics, that’s the first green flag to look out for.

Now here’s the second green flag:

How does he treat women as a whole?

(and of course for female dating gurus – how does she treat men as a whole?)

Any victim mindsets?

You gotta watch out for people who treat the opposite sex with antagonism, and take their advice with a huge grain of salt. Unless you want to be dating women with victim mindsets, who treat men with antagonism.

Whether it’s some redpill guy who dates immature self-unaware whore single moms, then complains about women being immature self-unaware whore single moms…

Or an older woman whose past “alpha” boyfriends haven’t stuck around in the long haul, so now she’s teaching women to take back the “power” in their dating lives through extreme prudence and only dating men who are willing not to kiss for 3 months…

Or anyone whose brand is based on how the opposite sex has wronged you oh so much, without taking accountability for their own mistakes…

They’re in business for a reason. They have an audience for a reason. These gurus’ advice works to help your dating life become more eventful, don’t get me wrong.

But it works to get you low-quality relationships that are foundationally built on a fear of inadequacy.

These are insecure, self-unaware people teaching you how to date other insecure, self-unaware people, no matter what self-empowerment word salad bullshit they dress their advice up in.

They’re not encouraging you to be your highest self.

They’re encouraging you to find virtue in settling for scraps.

Some people roll like that.

I don’t.

I’ll never encourage you to settle, only to aim high. And if this means I miss out on doing business with men who want to settle for scraps in their dating life, so be it.

If you want to do well with high-quality, high-vibration women, you need to have a positive relationship with femininity.

You have to love women, appreciate women, and embrace women for who they truly are.

(If you’re not 100% there yet, that’s okay. We’ll work on it in coaching. I’ve had my own victim mindsets about women in the past that I’ve since deprogrammed)

More importantly,

You have to stop trying to get something from women. You have to transcend petty power games with them. You have to learn to freely, unconditionally GIVE to women. You have to learn to ADD VALUE to women’s lives, and ruthlessly screen out women who will never be willing to give to you, open themselves to you, nor to add value to your life more than transactionally.

That starts with having an integrated understanding of your own masculinity, but we’ll go through the deets of that in coaching.

So here’s the root of this green flag in your dating guru, and also in ANYONE you wish to invite into your life:

Do they treat themselves as a victim of life, or as a lover of it?

Always be asking yourself THIS when you evaluate someone’s character. The truth can show itself in subtle ways, or in the smallest behavior.

When something goes wrong in their life, they may complain. They may vent. They may get pissy.

But a good person will also be actively seeking solutions, and ways to grow from the experience.

Watch out for people who don’t like to see you win and be happy. It only reminds them of the happiness they’re lacking. They don’t even like seeing themselves win and be happy. Steer clear of people whose life purpose is victimhood. You can show them all the love and wisdom in the world, and a million paths to victory, and they’ll still always choose the one path to misery.

Cut these snakes off. Deny them your attention/energy. They’ll only ever drain it.

And embrace people who face life’s challenges with a can-do attitude and a smile 🙂

Such as me.

And such as yourself, hopefully.

We don’t do victim mindsets in my coaching.

Here, we love women. We understand women. We GET women.

(High-quality women, that is. I won’t teach you to get ones who suck, like some other dating gurus do)

I work with men who truly want to WIN in their dating lives.

And to do the deep and shallow work to get where they wanna be.

I work with responsible, genuine guys who wish to never settle.

If that’s you… When you’re ready to be my next client success story…

See me in coaching!

– Ben


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