Goodbye (for realsies!)

It’s not clickbait. I’m legit pulling the plug on this business.

And this’ll be the last one of these emails I do for you handsome newsletter subscribers of mine.

*sound of heart rate monitor flatlining as I turn off its life support*

This business ain’t moving forward. It hasn’t been for a long while.

I’ve spent the last few years being a workaholic with ecom, grinding hard, and trying anything I can to revitalize my biz and get the income flowing – YouTube, Tiktok, this email list, improving my copywriting, creating content every damn day…

Now it’s time to stop.

When I chose ecom as my new career path after dropping out of university in late 2018, I winged it. Decided I’d make a business of selling ebooks and courses about wisdom I’ve learned through my life experiences – dating/relationships, addiction/sobriety, fitness, and general self-improvement.

Then a year in, I niched down to purely the dating/relationship stuff and made a 3-4 figure coaching package my one product, instead of selling a variety of stuff.

Marketing it was fun.

Working with clients, life-changing.

Few things have given me a sense of purpose over the last few years as much as this has.

But I’m burnt out of writing and writing and writing, constantly refining my marketing skills, for no fucking reward (I mean financially. When guys have come to me saying my advice really helped them, that was something)

So I’m not going to keep trying to save a relationship that hasn’t actually been moving forward for the longest time. I gave it 3 years, and 3 years has been enough.

I’ve built up a bit of an audience doing this, so I’m not gonna break up with ecom without any explanations.

Why am I quitting?

For an attempted dating coach, my dating life sure isn’t eventful anymore.

I’m not a fraud, if that’s how this may come off.

All my wisdom comes from lived experience – daygame, nightgame, social circle game, dating many types of girls, having my adventures and my connections, figuring out the dating world step by step when I used to be clueless in it…

But this lived experience of mine is almost entirely in the past.

It’s not my edge anymore.

Gitting gud with gurls was one edge of mine in college, and I’m sad to say that for the longest time, I’ve been one of those guys who fondly looks back at his glory days in college wishing he could go back. Wishing he could have a new adventure like that.

Because for those 2 years of my young adulthood, I was on my edge with fitness, career, and game. Living a ton of experiences for the first time. And meeting, GETTING girls for it. I had a certain energy back then that I’ve lost to trauma, and that I’ll keep lacking now, if I don’t find a new edge that brings it out of me.

I’ve spent my early 20s looking back constantly on those 2 years, the years where I actually had an abundant lifestyle and was, you know, actually living life and naturally meeting a bunch of girls instead of just writing about it all the time and only having the occasional experience where I’ve been on my edge or met a girl I really vibed with.

(Not entirely though. There was one season of my early 20s where I WAS on my edge and moving forward in all domains, but then a certain current event happened that separated me from the world at large once more. I’ve lived in the past with that season too)

I’m sick of living in the past. Fueling my business with the wisdom of what I USED TO DO, and constantly having to look back on that shit, instead of living in the present and giving my energy to that.

Workaholism’s been my favorite form of escapism over the last few years. And I didn’t become fully self-aware about it until the stress got to me and I impulsively attended a breathwork workshop one night. Then, I became conscious about how I revolved my whole life around work and wasn’t giving myself room to relax or be fun and chaotic anymore.

Many of my days in Miami were spent waking up, working all day, fitting meals and workouts in wherever I could, then going to bed and doing it all again the next day. I’d fit a bit of partying in too, but it wasn’t nearly what it used to be.

I’ve forgotten how to have fun, and need to relearn that.

I’m also sick of living in the future, waiting for the day when this business FINALLY takes off and I’m FINALLY a success with it, or I FINALLY somehow randomly stumble upon the girls in alignment with me. Fuck that shit. I’m not waiting anymore.

I need a new edge.

I get the occasional girl these days, but my dating life isn’t nearly as eventful as I’d like it to be. I know exactly what to do with the ladies to get them attracted to me, intrigued by me, but my problem is…

I meet very few girls I’M into. I don’t meet girls aligned with my values.

I run into minimal opportunities to apply my wisdom with the girls I want to apply it with.

Because I’m not in the right environments to naturally, organically stumble upon THE GIRLS I WANT.

I’m not pursuing the right edges that’ll facilitate that.

Now why the fuck am I trying to teach dating when I myself don’t even get new results?

It’s funny. I was really good at this, and got my clients results (with the girls THEY wanted). But despite being a fantastic coach, this life pursuit isn’t in alignment for me now.

So it’s time I break up with this “edge” of mine, and date some new edges before finding the next one(s) I’ll be committing myself to. Dating + committing to the girls I REALLY want will be a side effect of that.

I’m not gonna waste any more of my youth missing out on the girls who fit ME.

I’m not gonna waste any more of my youth looking back at the past.

It’s time for me to find new ways to move forward.

Allons-y,

– Ben

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