Girls got more talkative with me when I did THIS

When I first got into cold approach, my interactions with random girls on the street or in cafes were hit-or-miss.

I liked to do direct approaches – meet a girl, then IMMEDIATELY tell her she’s pretty or cute or whatever, pause and hold the tension as I let her respond, then…

Sometimes, the girls would be receptive. Chat with me. Even give me their phone numbers in the end.

But far more often, these girls got hard and closed up as soon as I said hello. Saying the bare minimum. Politely letting me fuck off, usually.

Until I started doing a certain something that got them much more comfortable and at ease with me.

Rather than limit myself to the binary of Direct vs Indirect approaches, I decided to mix the two. Once I started opening girls indirectly, then smoothly transitioning to expressing direct interest, I found I could get a girl to stay in the set longer, AND feel more comfortable around me.

The number of girls who’d be uncomfortable meeting me sharply decreased when I began opening them with:

* Warm eye contact

* A smile

* Maybe even a cute little wave

* “Hey, how’s your day/night going?”

BEFORE the usual low-investment compliment. Then I’d give them that compliment, vibe a bit, and you can guess what happened next.

The girls would be present, paying attention to me, at ease, NOT looking for a way out of our chat, and invested in our conversation whether or not they were interested in me!

(and if you want a quick step-by-step guide on how to do effective cold approaches yourself, I made a TikTok about exactly that last night!)

First impressions or first depressions?

Back when sharp, direct approaches were my thing, I could hold myself in the tension. Tension’s where I thrive.

But not a lot of girls felt the same way.

To them, I was coming on too strong, too fast.

And they’d either take it as overinvestment and be turned off, or feel the same tension I was feeling… but not quite know how to handle it, and be crushed under it.

So rather than throw the girl in the deep end tension-wise right upon meeting her, I found that helping her ease her way into those waters would make her feel better around me, some random sexy guy who chatted her up.

The problems in my comfort-lacking cold approaches went both ways. Yes, a lot of those girls were sexually lobotomized and had a tough time with tension, but MY problem was:

I was uncomfortable with comfort! That’s funny and ironic.

I felt like I could only relate to a girl sexually, or not at all. It’s the opposite problem of what some guys have – they have a great time relating to women through comfort, but are shite with tension.

You need to git gud at BOTH comfort AND tension to be successful with women, and to have mutually rewarding relationships with them.

Being a girl’s “placeholder boyfriend” or platonic male friend who’s all comfort and no desire is a problem… But so is being the guy who’s all desire and no comfort, who can hit her attraction triggers… yet not do much else for her.

Don’t compartmentalize tension and comfort. Optimize both in yourself, and the dating world is yours to conquer.

There’s no better place to GIT GUD AT GITTING GURLS than in coaching with me!

Your job is to take action and conquer the unknown. My job is to be your map and your guide – show you the territory, tell you what to expect and how to handle it, and help you get from point A to point B in MONTHS instead of YEARS.

When you’re ready to give me your money and get something much more valuable in return…


See me!

– Ben

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