5 years ago, I’d get panic attacks over the possibility of people not liking me.
Oftentimes, girls would ignore me. Guys would act like I wasn’t cool enough for them. When I’d get rejected after a date, ghosted by a girl I had way too much investment in, or even have a mild awkward moment with someone, I’d freak.
For the longest time, I’d want someone to treat me right.
All those people I was losing my shit over weren’t shit in hindsight. Or the problem was my own self-sabotage, not them. I cared way too much about the opinions of a bunch of randoms my age who knew just as much about the world as I did.
But here was the root of my social anxieties:
I didn’t care what I thought of myself. I was a needy nice guy with poor boundaries. Not much of a “natural” with people, socializing, and dating.
Sure, I had values. I had principles. I had wants and desires and wishes. But they were weak and didn’t mean much.
Because I didn’t have the boundaries to enforce them.
And why didn’t I have said boundaries?
Because I didn’t see my needs as valid.
Right there is how most men fuck up in dating, while the “naturals” somehow have a certain something that draws the girls to them. The normies call it confidence. Manosphere guys call it frame. But here’s what it REALLY is:
Here’s what the “naturals” have that the awko tacos don’t:
You can get jacked, you can dress well, you can learn the most effective game tactics in the world, study social dynamics extensively in the books and in the field, and take constant action with the ladies…
But as long as you have low self-respect and treat yourself like shit, your dating life will treat you like shit. You’ll have a weak, needy frame. Your “game” will always fall apart and drain you of life.
Once you learn to practice self-respect through setting boundaries and being aware of your needs, the quality of the girls you’re capable of dating will skyrocket. They’ll get hotter, kinder, more honest, and less neurotic.
Once I put on 40 lbs of muscle, started moving on up in the social world and in my ambitions, and started studying online dating advice… I did finally have a real dating life…
With neurotic, manipulative, extremely insecure girls.
Who would barely ever put out for me.
This is what my psychological/spiritual world was attracting to me. If I wanted higher-quality girls, I needed to change how I think. I had a lot of negative programming in me, telling me it’s wrong to be myself. Telling me I’m not worthy.
I needed to learn how to say “no” to anyone and anything who’d make me feel worse about myself. Only once I started doing that, did I stop vibing with SHIT girls and start vibing with awesome, sexy, feminine, giving girls.
And perhaps you do too.
Perhaps you’re like I used to be… Chronically seeing girls who make you feel worse about yourself, who play games, manipulate you, and string you along. Girls who don’t take care of themselves, who don’t invest in themselves. Girls who SUCK.
You’re not accidentally dating these girls. You’re attracting them because you’re making yourself feel worse about yourself, playing games and manipulating yourself, and stringing yourself along.
Dating healthier, higher-quality women isn’t about improving your game, or maxxing your looks/money/status… (though those things do help, and you should put the work into them!)
You need to Do The Work. Maxx your psychological/spiritual health, so you become compatible with a higher caliber of woman.
Start putting some value on your attention/energy. Refuse to give it to girls who treat you like shit.
Start saying “no” to programming that disempowers you. Start saying “yes” to programming that inspires you to be your best self and to love yourself more.
Start valuing your self-respect and your goals in life above getting with girls.
Start saying “no” to anything and anyone that makes you feel worse about yourself, or that inspires you to make someone feel worse about themselves.
High-value women with self-respect don’t date men who treat themselves like shit. And if you’re a man with low self-respect who fakes having high self-respect, you can game such a woman into dating you… Until your facade cracks and she sees who you REALLY are.
Now, self-respect is a spectrum, not a binary. You won’t go from being a needy nice guy to Captain Awesome overnight. This transformation is a marathon, not a sprint.
Every day, you have the choice between doing something brave, something that’ll make you respect yourself more… Or doing something needy and fearful.
Ghosting the girl who’s stringing you along and constantly leaving you on read… Or trying just one more time to get her.
Saying hi to that gorgeous girl who caught your eye at the cafe or the store or the street, telling her the truth – that you think she’s pretty and want to meet her… Or hiding your truth and letting her pass you by.
Having a “fuck yes” or “no” mindset in dating… Or pursuing girls you’re “maybe” about + pursuing girls who are “maybe” about you just to have SOMEONE around.
Taking a step towards achieving your goals… Or telling yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow”.
Cutting off toxic, irresponsible friends… Or keeping them around, waiting for them to change.
Becoming your highest self and dating girls on the same path isn’t a quick before/after. It’s a lifelong process. Every day, you must make the decision to live with self-respect, and to give up something that makes you feel worse about yourself.
Do you care more about what other people think of you, or about what you think of yourself?
What decisions and mindsets will make you respect yourself more? And consequently, draw you to higher-value girls who also respect themselves?
Taking the leap into coaching with me or with whoever you feel called to work with is such a decision.
Will you respect yourself more if you stay where you are, thinking you can do it all on your own?
Or if you invest in yourself and end up like the rest of my clients – dating (or getting more deeply intimate with) the girls of their dreams after only a month or a call of working with me?
My clients aren’t lazy guys. They’re ALREADY driven to get better and have made the decision to get there, but aren’t aware of the exact steps forward.
I’m their map and their guide. I’m the difference between the process of SEXUAL ENERGY MASTERY taking MONTHS vs YEARS. I’m not a magic pill that turns them from zeros to heroes with no effort on their part.
I don’t save my clients. They save themselves, then they come work with me.
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