When vulnerability gets you laid

Quick part 2 to yesterday’s email, gentlemen.

Last time, we talked about how vulnerability can KILL your vibe with a girl – when you’re dumping your emotions onto her.

Now let’s talk more about how vulnerability can get a girl more COMFORTABLE with you, and add to your sexual tension. And hoo boy, unlike during my needy nice guy days, this type of vulnerability actually got me some girls 😉

So here’s one thing I’ve learnt in the field:

If a girl gives you the opportunity to be vulnerable with her, she’s giving you the opportunity to win her. If you really want her, take it. Give her what she wants.

Unfortunately, most guys take this opportunity to build comfort… but not desire. And they come on too strong with the rapport-building, turning the girl into their therapist and killing all the sexual tension. Acting more like her girlfriend than the guy she chatters with her girlfriends about.

Instead, try this:

Be vulnerable about your strengths. Tell the girl some stories that show your integrity and power.

What are yours? I’ll tell you some of mine.

Being briefly homeless in Miami, losing all my stuff, yet not slowing down. Doing a photoshoot with a stolen stop sign with some drunk girls in my dorm building. Injuring both my wrists in 11th grade, then making serious muscle gains in my legs that year. Even crazy degenerate shit like a close female friend of mine cheating on her boyfriend with me…

All those stories of mine have won girls over, getting them lighting up around me, their eyes fixed on me, sexual tension between us, them being more open to my leadership…

Whereas when I’d be vulnerable with girls about how my dating life sucked and tell them all about how my mental health struggles made me sad and anxious… Their panties would be dry.

Except when I’d use my dating stories to frame myself as a fuckboy, “yeah, I’ve only ever hooked up, but no big deal, it’s just how my life’s gone…”, and let that story make me her quick fun time for the night.

Storytelling is one of the most powerful skills in game, and you need to know how to do it well. I credit to it many, if not all of my sexy experiences with girls.

These girls had a story, a desire, or an archetypal narrative in their head, and I knew how to frame myself as the male lead in that cute little story…

Or pulled it off accidentally, not fully understanding exactly what I’d done till later.

Attraction doesn’t simply happen when two sexy people think the other looks good and smells good and would make a good fuck. That’s biological attraction.

Psychological attraction is equally powerful and polar. A girl doesn’t open herself to you just because she thinks you have a nice body and a sexy deep voice… (if that was true, my notch count would be in the thousands) She opens herself to you because she feels like you GET each other, and enjoys playing the female lead in the sexy story you write together.

So when you’re ready to learn this skill of sexy storytelling, and how to be vulnerable with a girl in ways that get her thinking of you as belonging to HER instead of to the psych ward…

And of course, the usual dating coach stuff – optimizing your looks, game, and mindsets…

See me in coaching 😉

– Ben

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