Why I respect the PUAs

I’m gonna be vulnerable here and tell you I’m not very good at seduction. I’m not some quote, unquote “High Value Man” who spins plates and shit. I’m not one of those guys who picks up girls on the street, chats with them a bit, and gets them into bed.

Though I have put my reps into daygame and seen firsthand how futile it often is, and how much forcing it DOESN’T work to get you a girl who’s really into you.

Almost every time I’ve successfully seduced a girl has been accidental. She had a story in her head she wanted to live out and I accidentally became the male lead in it.

A lot of dating coaches out there do seduction better than me. They’re better at getting laid quickly than me, and they’re far better at “spinning plates” than I am. So if get-laid-quick is your strategy in dating, I can teach you an approximation of what those guys do, since I put my reps into that in earlier seasons of my life. I wasn’t that great even then, but I learnt firsthand what works and what doesn’t.

If you’re seeking to learn pure seduction, I’m probably not the guy you’ll be working with.

But my lack of skill with seduction and getting laid casually isn’t because I’m ugly or unattractive or because I don’t understand social dynamics. Quite the opposite.

I don’t care about getting laid for its own sake, is why I’m not so good at seduction.

And I don’t care about the girls who care about getting laid for its own sake, or for spinning their male plates.

I got a few notches back in the day, and they weren’t anything special aside from two-ish girls who REALLY changed my life. In fact, my “girl problem” for the longest time was that I could get girls to want to hook up with me… but not want much else.

I’m at a point in my life and my development where I want a deep relationship with a girl, and chasing casual sex through PUA routines isn’t what’ll get me that.

I’m not “in the arena” when it comes to seducing girls like I used to be, and even when I was, I hated it. It’s not what’ll make me happy personally. So if I was to try that again, I’d hate it even more viscerally. And I’d drive most of those girls away anyway, because if I won’t enjoy it, they won’t either.

Though seduction isn’t my strong suit, I’m still a dating coach for a reason. My methods and what I teach differ from what your favorite YouTube daygamer or the Facebook dating coach in your Messenger dms will teach you:

I teach masculinity, dominance, tension control, and sexual energy mastery more than anything. Getting grounded in your sexual energy, becoming fearless and intuitive around women, and doing the deep inner work to make it all possible.

This is my style of game. I’m more physical and animalistic than verbal and seductive. I’m in my element when I get to move with a girl and play around with her or our environment. Not so much when I’m chatting with her or getting to know her.

That’s why I respect these PUA guys I watch on YouTube sometimes – Their methods may differ from mine, but they get laid for it (less often than you may think, but they still do!) They’re strong where I’m not. And I have taken some pointers from them, incorporated some aspects of their game into my own.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about YOU.

What kinds of girls do YOU want to be with?

What style of game resonates most with YOU?

That’s the nature of the game. You won’t be getting with absolutely every or any decently attractive girl, only the ones who align with you and your strengths as a man.

To get a girl, you need to care about the same things she does, even if you’re masculine and objectively attractive to her. Otherwise the energy in your approaches will be off. There will be no connection between you and the girls you talk to.

It’s baffled me sometimes when I’ve seen PUAs get laid and get girls wrapped around their finger. In theory, my theory, these aren’t the methods I enjoy, so… But somehow, they still got the girl in bed. It’s baffled me, until I realized that some girls WANT EXACTLY THAT.

The reason these Seduction gurus get laid even if they aren’t so into the deep inner energetic work as I am, is because they get laid with girls who also care for seduction and aren’t so into the inner work themselves.

If those are the girls you truly desire, go for em. If a dating life of spinning plates and running seduction routines on girls who want to be seduced is what you want, work with a dating coach who gets those girls instead of with me. Your path in life is your own, and if I or my teachings don’t resonate with it, cool. I’m not for everyone.

But I do attract the girls who care for dominance and raw masculinity, who are receptive to that energy, and who have its feminine equivalent. So if you want a dating life built on that animalistic energy, feel free to work with me and end up like the rest of my clients – dating (or going deeper with) girls you’re FUCK YES about after only a month or a call of working with me.

My methods may not be the same ones as the pickup guys’, but they get you to the same place – the bedroom, with a pretty girl in your arms.

Now, there’s no question I’d have more girls in my life if I was a better seducer. A lot of my approaches get fucked because I create too much tension and not enough comfort/rapport. So I respect the pickup guys for taking action and being strong where I’m not…

But I’m also strong where they aren’t, and this makes all the difference in my dating life.

So whether dominance or seduction is your strong suit, balance it out with the other energy. Don’t be a one-trick pony of a seducer or a dominant. Yet remember that getting the girls who are for YOU means playing to your strengths. If you’re a natural seducer, go for the girls who are receptive to seduction. If you’re a natural dominant, go for the girls who are receptive to dominance.

Above all else, screen for the girls who care for the same things you care for. A woman’s sex drive runs on feeling DESIRED, and if you don’t truly desire the girl you’re talking to, even if she’s objectively pretty, you won’t be getting her. Allow things to happen, don’t force them.

Be aware of your own values and strengths, and pursue the girls who align with them. Any other path is a highway to misery, incongruency, and frustration.

Here’s the usual sales pitch now:

Work with me, and great things will happen in your dating life.

Click here when you’re ready to be my next client success story.

– Ben

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