How I counterintuitively kicked my addictions

If you know my story, you know I’ve had a few addictions – alcohol, drugs, porn, escapism…

And I’ve kicked them all 😉

Hoo boy, it was painful. But these were growing pains. A vicious motivator to get sober and free myself from addiction.

But who gives a shit about me and my past?

What about YOU? What are YOU addicted to and controlled by? Alcohol? Drugs? Porn? Escapism? Smoking? Eating? Video games? Patting cats?

Whatever it is, here’s how you quit:

1. WANT to quit

Because if deep down, you don’t truly want to give it up just yet, you won’t. No matter what advice you take or what hacks you try.

If you believe your life is better for having this addiction, you’ll keep it around until you…

2. Let yourself feel pain

Addiction is escapism. You’re running from something, into booze or porn or getting high or whatever…

So staying away from the thing isn’t enough.

You have to address your TRIGGERS, and eliminate them.

So here’s how I quit binge drinking more than I should have, how I quit uncontrollably relapsing with porn, and how I haven’t gotten high for over 3 years now:

I decided to stop fighting the pain.

Instead, I embraced the pain.

I’d let myself get triggered, and hold the tension.

One such trigger of mine got triggered earlier this week.

I was watching a show on Netflix, and an old wound of mine got triggered. Same one that same scene triggered 6 years ago. Holy fuck, I was tense. Damn near freaking. I wanted to shut the show off and go jerk off to some porn or get drunk. But nope, I kept sitting there. Letting myself feel the anxiety. But unlike myself from 6 years ago, I opened my heart. Decided to be okay with the pain and to validate the unmet needs and desires behind it. And thus, the pain passed. I let it flow through me instead of pushing it down or wishing it wasn’t there.

I felt better about myself once I held the tension and integrated it into myself. Stronger. More alive. More like a man.

I wasn’t always like this. For the longest time, PORN would be my favorite tension-reliever. Every time I’d get stressed or sexually insecure, I’d run to the porn.

When I decided to quit porn and tried the “just don’t watch it bro!” approach, it led to relapse after relapse after relapse.

So how’d I stop my relapses and take back full control of my sexual energy?

It’s counterintuitive, but it worked.

I let myself get triggered. Over and over again. I binged on the porn more than I would even as a horny teenage boy.

Every time I felt even a slight urge to watch porn, I wouldn’t resist it. Then when I’d cum watching it, I’d take a quick break… Then trigger myself again, and go at it again. Intentionally. Binge on porn till the sun came up.

My goal wasn’t to lose myself in it like I’d used to, but to go into it with a critical mind and a critical heart. My goal was to address my triggers and my trauma… and eliminate them. Quickly and painfully.

You need to trigger your trauma to heal it.

So trigger yourself and heal it.

Or else you’ll be like every dumb irresponsible fuck who stays in the same toxic patterns year after year, getting triggered over and over again, then running from the pain into his or her favorite little escapes and rationalizations. Like a coward.

Stop being a coward. Face the pain, or stay the same.

Every time my trauma’s been triggered has been painful and uncomfortable. But only through that pain and discomfort could I address the truth behind my triggers, and heal that trauma. And the more I did that, the more control I gained over my addictions and my life.



I’m a fantastic Holistic Health and Sexual Energy coach for a reason – We go deep before we do anything else. I could teach you all the game techniques in the world, but if your unconscious mind isn’t right, remember what I told you in my last email.

Your unconscious beliefs and alignments determine where you end up with women and your health. No matter what steps you consciously take to get there or avoid getting there. You have to trigger your buried unconscious bullshit and heal it, or keep getting the same results you’ve been getting all these years with no improvements.

Once you do this, learning a bit of game and theory is the icing on the cake. Dating women and taking care of yourself becomes fun and easy, instead of complicated and frustrating.

Doing the deep work is my specialty in coaching, and it’s why my clients get their results quickly. I’m not your dime-a-dozen “become a High-Value Man and learn some game and do 1000 approaches as you learn to get laid” dating coach.

I’m holistic. I’m sexual. I’m energetic and intuitive.

You may not know what’ll work to trigger you, challenge you, and heal you in all the right ways, and you may spend years BSing before you find what works.

But I know what’ll work, whether I know it before or after I ask you a few questions on the phone.


Ready to be my next client success story?

– Ben

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