Can women love unconditionally?

Let’s deconstruct a common redpill idea here:

Women can’t love a man as he desires to be loved.

Women want men for WHAT they are, nor for WHO they are.

Your value as a man comes from what you provide more than from who you are, sexually and socially.

Is this true?

Will a woman never love you for YOU, and only for your physique, money, status..?

It’s no secret.

Unless you’re clueless, you know women are attracted to men who are physically and socially dominant. Men who are high-energy. Men who are ambitious.

So if you’re physically and spiritually weak, out of shape, depressed and down on yourself, and don’t have any real aspirations in life, good luck dating anything besides ugly fat chicks.

But I imagine that’s not you. Every self-respecting man knows the value of integrity and striving to be a greater version of himself. These are the men I work with. Men who are committed to being losers don’t seek my advice.

Yet even if you’re in shape and ambitious, the question remains: Will women want you for THAT, or for deeper reasons – a personal, spiritual, psychological connection?

If you’re a guy who’s in great shape or doing well for himself, I guarantee you’ve had some girls wanting you either just for your body or your money/career/status.

Could be disheartening, assuming you want a deep, close relationship with a girl. But all they want is your sex and your resources.

I wouldn’t take that redpill advice to heart though, even if it’s true in practice. It wrongfully defines what LOVE is.

Sexual attraction and love are two different things.

While a woman might be TURNED ON by your fitness, your integrity, and your status, it doesn’t guarantee that she’ll feel a connection or a vibe with you. It doesn’t guarantee that she’ll feel comfortable pursuing you, or with you pursuing her.

Same reason you might find a dumb, vapid, but curvy and voluptuous young woman physically attractive, and your sex will be saying “yeah, I want to be inside her”, but be turned off by her immaturity and vapid personality, and have no desire to ACTUALLY be with her.

Attraction is multi-dimensional – it’s BOTH biological AND psychological.

So I disagree with the notion that women can’t love a man unconditionally. They absolutely can. A strong psychological personality connection between you and a girl CAN bring you two together even if you’re lacking in the biological attraction side of things. Whether it’s her liking you, or hating you. Only the latter is a form of love.

Yet again, a woman liking you, even loving you, DOESN’T guarantee that she’ll want to have sex with you, have a relationship with you, or even keep you around in her life.

That’s what the aforementioned redpill advice gets at – women don’t want to be with weak, low-energy, defeated, complacent, impotent men, and only the strongest of personality connections will get such a guy some puss… from a weak, low-energy woman.

Yes, women ARE capable of loving you for who you are, but only once you’ve got your shit together will this love be conducive to a strong, tight, sexually polar relationship. Otherwise you’re fighting a losing battle in the sexual marketplace. Women have options, and if they can get a strong, forward-moving man, then by jove, they won’t settle for anyone less.

People who think personality and psychological health don’t matter in attraction are slaves to their lower desires, and are blind to all the little spiritual machinations behind whether a dating experience works out or not. Yet people who think personality is ALL that matters, and ignore our base animalistic natures have their own blindspots in attraction. Guess what said blindspots are.

So get in shape, get on your mission, then start focusing on personality, your psychological and spiritual health. Only when the foundations of attraction are in check, can you afford to wholly filter women by their personalities, and by how well theirs click with yours. Otherwise the holes in your biochemistry and your positioning will sink things with the girls you want.

Now, don’t assume this means you need to be in perfect shape or be perfectly established before you can start inviting women into your life.

Just be moving forward. Be on your edge.

Women aren’t fucking perfect either. Facing life and growing together is the beauty of having a woman in your life, whatever stage of life you’re in.

The sex may be enjoyable too.

If you’re a man who’s moving forward in his fitness and in his missions, but you’re lost on attracting attractive women who CLICK with you, or on retaining them or going deeper with them…

See me in coaching.

And end up where the rest of my clients end up. 😉

– Ben


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