Should you become more masculine?

There’s a ton of talk in the quote, unquote “manosphere” about MASCULINITY – how you need to lift weights, make money, be on a mission, lead women instead of treating them as your superiors…

This talk has its place, and the guys there lap up all the “be a man” platitudes. It’s “saving” men who didn’t grow up around much masculine energy.

Plenty of modern men have spent their formative years lacking male role models who are deeply grounded in their masculinity, so to finally have guys encouraging them to get deeply grounded in that energy is a game-changer, and something our society sorely needs to offer people who are chronically trapped in their heads, disconnected from their sexual energy.

But I have an issue with it.

See, masculinity is a great thing, and Western culture is lacking in it, but too many guys in this corner of the Internet treat “be more masculine!” as a cure-all to every one of their problems in life.

It isn’t.

If you’re focusing on masculine self-development when you’re ALREADY a masculine guy, then spiritually, you’re moving BACKWARDS. It’s like focusing on pushup technique when you can already bench 200 lbs no problem.

So yes, guys who aren’t in touch with their body, their missions, or their sexual energy do benefit from content and mentorship that encourages them to be more masculine.


Once you have your foundational masculinity taken care of – your body is strong and capable, you’re on your mission, and you have a masculine spirit…

This “be a man” type of advice is HINDERING YOU from reaching the next level of your masculine self-development. You are going through the motions whenever you look back on it.

And what that next level is…

A lot of guys won’t be happy to hear it. It may confuse them. It may attack their masculine ego. Plenty will resist it, and stagnate spiritually for it. I used to be one of these “you should be a man! I’m so special cause I’m Masculine™ !!!” types of guys myself, and this way of thinking was actually lobotomizing me from being able to deeply connect with women, and often, with other men.

Masculine men can be insecure too, and they can treat themselves poorly. They show up around women as masculine, but refreshing as this energy is, it’s a predictable, one-dimensional masculinity. Women quickly get BORED of a guy who’s all about strength and security and success and doesn’t have anything deeper than that to offer. They’re the men women respect, but they’re not the men women love.

If you’re a guy who’s deeply in touch with his masculinity, then feminine integration is your next step. You need to learn to channel feminine energy.

Now, this DOESN’T mean becoming gay, letting go of your manhood or masculine energy, becoming a girl (I’ve made this mistake), or becoming feminine.

It simply means opening yourself up to feminine energy. Allowing the feminine to have a place in your life, and in yourself.

You grow your own masculine energy, and deepen its capabilities, by alchemizing it with feminine energy.

You allow this feminine energy into yourself to polarize your masculine energy. There are certain dimensions to your masculinity that you can only discover when it’s sharpened by other men, and there are other dimensions to it that you can only discover when you hold it up to the mirror that is femininity.

Being an unintegrated masculine man may be better than being a weak, depolarized male, but it’s not the macho man fantasy you may have in your head.

An unintegrated masculine man has this deep flaw, that can only be remedied with feminine integration:

He’s needy for feminine energy in his life.

I see this time and time again in masculine men who block themselves off to feminine energy:

* Losing himself in alcohol. (alcohol is liquid feminine energy!)

* Burying his emotions, then having violent uncontrollable emotional outbursts when he’s drunk or triggered.

* Having all sorts of idealizations about women, and being quite self-UNaware about his true feelings around them.

* Chronically dating “crazy girls”, because these are the only girls whose emotional instability is strong enough to connect with his buried emotions, and reveal them for what they are.

* Being able to get a feminine girlfriend, but the relationship ends up on the rocks because the guy is scared to offer his girl the comfort and deep connection she craves.

All problems I’ve had (and overcome). All problems I’ve seen in other men.

So gents, do get in touch with your masculine energy.

Yet if there’s trauma and past pains in you blocking you from receiving and embracing feminine energy, acknowledge it. Because how you relate to feminine energy within becomes how you relate to feminine energy outside yourself.

A lot of you gentlemen have an avoidant relationship to feminine energy. You don’t open yourself to it, and thus, you can’t receive it. If your masculine and feminine energies are at war, your dating life will be a war. If your masculine and feminine energies are dancing together, then your dating life will be a dance.

See me in coaching, and I’ll teach you how to achieve this masculine/feminine integration in every domain of your life, and become a man who women don’t solely look up to and respect…

But a man who these women can deeply connect with, sexually and personally. A man who inspires the women in his life, not solely a man who attracts them.

Men who lift and make money and have hard dicks are dime-a-dozen.

Men who have all that, and integrated masculine energy… Are extremely hard for women to forget.

My coaching is NOT “one size fits all”, nor dogmatic masculinity advice you could get from any fucking dating guru out there.

I’ve worked with depolarized guys who’ve needed to feel like men again, especially around the ladies, and I’ve worked with masculine guys who’ve needed to open themselves to femininity, or risk their intimate life falling apart.

Whether your next step forward is getting more in touch with your foundational masculine energy, or alchemizing the feminine energy in your life…

See me.

– Ben

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