This’ll be a quick one, gentlemen.
I have a lengthier, deeper email coming soon after this one, but first, I want to touch on an attraction topic I don’t think I’ve ever brought up before.
How much does money REALLY matter to women?
I know there’s a loooot of guys out there who think the reason they don’t get women is because their bank balance doesn’t have enough commas yet. And I’ve had clients bring up this exact issue with me – they think that when they start bringing in the bucks, the ladies will begin flocking to them.
(You can imagine I’ve been like “no buddy no, that’s not how it works”)
And you may have gotten similar advice from an adult in your family – make money, then find a woman, not the other way around.
(because their own relationship/marriage is built mostly on the woman needing to settle down with a provider, and the man only seeing himself as such)
Is out-earning the woman you’re with a MUST?
For some women, it is. It depends squarely on your individual VALUES.
Money matters to women who care about money.
Some women get their identity from money more than other women do, and THESE women will care prominently about your finances. Usually, they’ll write you off if you don’t out-earn them.
This could be a girl from humble beginnings who’s had to work to survive all her life, or a rich girl who gets her sense of self from daddy’s money, or a middle-class career gal who cares about moving up the ladder.
You can’t box girls in and make generalized assumptions about them based on their social strata or upbringing. There are INFINITE variables in attraction and personality development, and some gals will care more about certain things than others do.
Don’t get all your dating/relationship advice from your beaten-down parents, your struggling friends, or from Twitter anons, then become dumbfounded when real relationships turn out to be nuanced and multi-faceted.
Now, are women who care largely about money necessarily BAD partners?
As always, you have to look at women holistically. If money’s the ONLY thing she cares about, if her ego revolves around dating you purely for your status and income, I would watch out. This woman will be loyal purely to your value, not to your values.
But it’s reasonable for women to care for money as a box to check before prioritizing other things.
So if you personally care immensely about money and are in the market for girls who want a wealthy guy – lead with it, if you have it.
But if you’re a guy who’s doing well for himself and you want to connect with women over sexuality or a personality connection, or your income’s not quite there yet and you want the same…
You’ll have to market yourself based on where you’re strong and based on what you personally value. Stop identifying as “the guy who’s got a job and money” or “the guy who doesn’t have an ideal job or ideal income”
It’s the same advice I’d give to short kings – Stop identifying as “the short guy” when you meet girls, screen out the girls who’ll care largely about your height, and date based on YOUR strengths.
But these girls will only see your strengths if you show them 😉
A few last words about age:
If you’re a gent in his 30s or older in the market for a woman in your age demographic, money matters. Women expect you to have your shit together and be able to provide for yourself.
You being broke in your 20s is forgivable, and if you’re a good-looking, cool guy who’s got game, most girls in your age demographic will look past your lack of income. Some will care for your career more than others, but generally, money doesn’t make or break attraction in your 20s.
Anyhoo, that’s all I have to say here. If you have any questions about money matters in dating, feel free to shoot me a reply.
And as usual,
If you’re a guy who’s got 4 figures in the bank and you’re in decent shape…
Yet the women you REALLY want to be with are eluding you, despite you working hard at putting your life together…
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