I stumbled upon an interesting video on the bird app TL:

“How to marry a high value man and become a housewife”

The first bit of it goes like:

“I love my husband [for a living].”

“How did you get that job?”

“I became a better human being, and I became feminine, and also – shocking – submissive.”

So what do you think of this?

Ideal, right? Guys, she’s FEMININE and SUBMISSIVE. An ideal wife, right?

Is that what you think?

I’ll tell you what I think.

She sounds like a high schooler BSing a presentation that she stayed up till 4 AM building from start to finish the night before.

Yet she’s still gotten a good grade on it.

I may see through her game, but her game works.

There are plenty of men out there who will see a pretty, husband-seeking woman in a modest dress, be like “HOLY SHIT SHE’S SO HIGH-QUALITY”, and be quick to wife her up. They don’t see this “submissive feminine modest wifey material” persona for what it is – GIRL GAME.

Now, this game isn’t inherently a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just a form of power, yet the quality of this power depends on personality development. Some people don’t know game and are powerless against it, some people use game to compensate for a weak personality, some people have a strong personality and use game to express it in better ways.

The girl in this video may be good at heart or manipulative at heart. I haven’t seen enough of her to make an informed judgement on that. But I know game, and this “submissive feminine wife material” game is crack to one demographic of man:

Men who ego-attach to their own masculinity.

If you’re a man whose life goal is to be a patriarch, trad or not, or you’re simply in a phase of your life where you’re exploring your masculinity, and trying to be more of a MAN, not just more yourself, then you need to watch out for women who are pulling this game.

This “femininity” is a performance and an affectation, not coming deeply from her roots. Men who GET IT can viscerally sense whether a woman is truly grounded in her femininity vs when she’s wearing it as a caricatured costume, like the girl in this video is. Same thing with women who GET IT. Their 6th sense knows when a man’s a man, or when he’s only dressing up in daddy’s clothes.

Don’t dress up in mommy’s clothes either. Putting on a pretty dress and going husband-hunting isn’t what it takes to make a feminine woman.

Just like lifting weights and making money doesn’t automatically make a masculine man.

To stop buying other people’s bullshit, first stop buying your own.

But I empathize with the LARPers.

Most people are sexually traumatized and have a severed connection to their sex.

To the extent they understand themselves sexually, it’s all in their head.

What positions they like in the bedroom, the boxes they check as a potential partner for sale in the marketplace, kinks, fetishes, sexual fantasies they think they want to bring into reality but are really just their sexual trauma crying for help, porn preferences, the pursuit of transactional hookups…

They’ve not yet rediscovered the animal within.

And plenty of us in the quote, unquote “manosphere” haven’t either. We’re a crowd of Pinocchios, constantly telling ourselves “I want to be a real man/woman!”, thinking the wood of our exteriors looks like real skin.

Plenty will give you platitudes that’ll give you a high of “understanding” (really just repetition of the beliefs you already have).

Few people besides me will teach you how to get back to your roots, and into your entire body.

If you have sexual trauma you’re not consciously aware of, then you need a space where you can explore your masculinity and define yourself as a man, not just as a person who happens to be male and wants sex with people who happen to be female.

In coaching, my goal is not to give you a “blueprint” for being a Real Man™ like some gurus do, rather I give you the guidance necessary to unearth the masculinity that’s ALREADY WITHIN YOU.

This isn’t your dime-a-dozen “learn some game, do this, do that, say this when she says this, lemme tell you about how to improve every minute detail of your body language, did you know that you need to be a High Value Man™ to attract women ???, OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE BRO !!” style of dating coaching.

Were you treated like a defective girl when you were a vulnerable little boy?

Parents split up when you were too young to comprehend it all, and your relationship with dad suffered for it?

Mom married a man she was only settling for, they created an emotionally avoidant household, and you grew up thinking THIS is a normal marriage?

The other kids at school excluded you, didn’t let you join in on their games, called you creepy and weird and ugly?

You have dark sexual fantasies you’ve never told anyone about? Maybe they even involve raping women or you being raped?

You’ve been addicted to masturbation and porn since before you started high school? And this spiraled into sex addiction when you started getting it?

The first masculine mentor you’ve ever been emotionally close to taught you that being a man means being abusive and narcissistic and self-centered? Then you repeated the patterns of abuse and narcissism in your future relationships?

You deeply believe that you’re destined to be a social and sexual reject because a few things back in high school didn’t go to plan?

You’ve dissociated from yourself and built up a false identity because you believe you need it to be loved and appreciated?

Or maybe you’ve never actually been with a girl you’ve liked. You’ve only ever settled for girls you have noticeable power over. You feel INFERIOR when a girl’s body turns you on. You treat attractive girls like goddesses you’re begging for sex from, not like fellow humans, equals you can vibe and connect with.

You’ve even attempted suicide because you couldn’t handle your constant sense of rejection and inferiority and sexual frustration?

These are all my experiences. Do you relate to any of them?

I had no excuse not to heal myself and my wounded, buried masculinity, and you don’t either. Or maybe you want to keep getting mediocre results in the dating world, if you even get any, in which case go away, don’t read my stuff.

Until you’ve Done The Work, triggered the buried trauma that’s secretly controlling your life, and healed it…

Beautiful, amazing girls will be out of your reach. All you’ll get is unattractive, damaged, unhealthy, irresponsible women.

Because you don’t get the women you desire. You get the women you ARE.

And the best, quickest way to Do The Work and improve who you ARE?

You know what it is.

Come here and see me.

– Ben

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