I got ANGRY with a client yesterday!

I was doing a client call yesterday. Guy was in his late 20s, in debt, working a normie retail job, living with his parents, falling into many validation traps with women.

But what really stood out to me on the phone was his voice. He spoke slowly. Weakly. His voice reeked of complacency and defeat.

So rather than give him any advice from the start or ask him any further questions about his situation, I encouraged him to bitch at me about everything in his life that was pissing him off. His voice stayed weak and pissy.

“No, don’t just COMPLAIN. Get PISSED OFF,” I said.

If you don’t already get why I did this, I’ll explain later.

So, once I got him to open up a bit about that, I went into some questions and advice about masculinity and psychological integration. Standard stuff I do with clients who don’t understand all the possible expressions of their masculine energy yet.

Then we went back to the subject of his lifestyle, and I did something you may or may not already be expecting from coaching with me.

I got mad at him.

I lost it (in a controlled way).

I didn’t scream at him or anything, but I did firmly bitch him out.

“You’re 27! Fucking act like it! Grow up! Get your shit together! Start acting like a man!” was the gist of it.

And you know what?

He started feeling a little mad himself. His voice got firmer and louder just like mine.

Fantastic. 🙂

Now we were making some real progress.

From there, we moved on to talking about his goals in life and with women, and putting together some actionable steps for him to achieve them.

But getting mad at him first was a necessary step. I needed to give him some masculine healing. I needed to get him out of anxiety and fear and complacency, into a more actionable state.

If you’re not acting like a man and taking responsibility for yourself, I will bitch at you until you do. Because if I was to be soft and accommodating on such a guy, we would get into a feel-good conversation about his goals and aspirations… that would result in little to no action on his part, at least nothing lasting.

I got mad at my client because I want him to be a high-value man like the rest of them.

But like many men out there, he had the wrong idea of what that really means. He had the common detrimental mindset of “when I get HERE in life, I’ll be worth it”

I want him to think differently, and to see sexual attraction for what it really is.

You do not need all your shit together to be a “high value man”.

You just need the ABILITY and the ENERGY to get it together.

A “high value man” is a man with massive energy. A man with a high threshold for tension. Regardless of his material situation.

And ANGER is the first step to uncovering this energy of yours. Plus, it’s a necessary energy to access when setting boundaries.

I could have given this guy all the mindset and tactical advice in the world, but what would happen if he plays all his cards right and falls into a validation trap, where he doesn’t know how to put up a boundary with a woman who’s acting poorly?

He’d get walked all over, because he wouldn’t know how to put a little bitch in her place.

And if you’re scared of me (or anyone) getting mad at you, or of your own capacity for anger, you’re a little bitch yourself.

Anger is how you let people know to stop walking over you, and to let yourself know you don’t deserve to be walked over. And as a man, it’s how you tell a brother who isn’t pulling his weight to GIT GUD and to start living with some ENERGY and responsibility.

I obviously don’t recommend you become a raging bull of a guy, but a healthy dose of a mad “GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER” works wonders when you need to shock yourself out of complacency and weakness.

By the end of our call, my client sounded revitalized. Inspired. Ready to take on life’s challenges and hold himself to a higher standard. As long as he’s taking responsibility for getting his shit together, I can be soft on him. Warm with him. And he can be that way with himself. I have no doubt he’ll be getting some momentum going as he chases his dreams, both in the world and with women.

And when you’re ready to be the next client of mine who gets a roadmap forward for success with women and at being a man…

You know what to do 😉

– Ben


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