Today’s email for you gentlemen is a refresher on the foundations of attraction.
If you know anything about attracting women, you know they respond sexually to FEELINGS, not to facts and logic.
Every redpill masculinity guru out there will tell you that you need to make a girl FEEL SOMETHING to be attracted to you, but I knew fuck all about how to do that when I was in my redpill phase trying to git gud at dating.
I’d listen to the “make her feel something!” advice, but it was all vague. I didn’t understand the full extent of it until years later. So here’s the truth about it.
These feelings generate attraction in a girl:
Tension and Comfort.
Tension makes her feel challenged, makes her feel sexual polarity with you. While comfort makes her feel validated and accepted. Attracting a girl requires you to mix these two feelings.
How much of each you should actively build depends on the context and on your individual personalities. If you’re just trying to have a hot hookup, a high amount of tension with just the right amount of comfort is what you need. Other situations will require you to amp up the comfort, but the general rule is:
The more tension you passively create, the more comfort you need to actively create. The more comfort you passively create, the more tension you need to actively create.
Trying to solve a “comfort issue” by creating more tension will only drown the girl in it, and get her feeling insecure around you EVEN IF YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE. If it’s an approach, she’ll quickly shut down or blow you out. If you’re in a relationship, she’ll feel misunderstood and start nagging you or blocking you out for it.
Aaaaand trying to solve a “tension issue” by creating more comfort will lead you to the friendzone and get your girl eyeing other guys, even if she loves you.
So how do you create tension and comfort with a girl?
But on a deeper level, you need to create these feelings in YOURSELF.
You need to embrace your masculinity and allow yourself to be possessed by tension instead of avoiding it. Embrace the tension of challenging your body. Embrace the tension of work and responsibility. Embrace the tension of sharpening your spirit and your soul.
The higher your threshold for tension is, the more sexual tension girls will feel around you. And the more of it you’ll be able to handle around them. A high tension-carrying capacity is what makes you a sexual being around the ladies.
A low-tension man = a sexually undesirable man
Now let’s talk about comfort.
Contrary to what the “manosphere” or your baby boomer dad may teach you, simply having resources and a functional cock ain’t enough to make a woman feel like a woman around you.
Tension may attract a woman, but comfort is what makes her want to keep you around.
Being attentive to a gal’s needs, and making her feel welcome and appreciated around you DOESN’T make you a pussy beta soy bitch, unlike what some manosphere LARPers may tell you.
It makes her think of you as the guy she feels safe and comfortable around. You’re the guy she can trust, the guy she can be herself around.
As much as I see guys have “tension issues” with women, not embracing their masculinity enough, not leading, being afraid to make her a bit uncomfortable…
I see plenty of men, especially guys who care strongly about their own masculinity, have “comfort issues” too.
They feel like they can relate to women as a man, but not as a person. Just like the women they repel, these men feel uncomfortable being themselves around women, and protect themselves behind an unintegrated masculine bravado.
This was me for the longest time. I’d be baffled by how despite me being a masculine guy who knew how to turn a lady on, girls would always shut me out or create drama.
Then I learned to be warmer and lighter in my interactions with the fairer sex, and they suddenly got a lot more talkative and open to getting to know me.
For some odd reason, women sure do like it when you’re attentive to their needs and feelings 😉
So. Hope that quick refresher refreshed you gentlemen.
Now for the usual sales pitch.
Whether your girl problems are more about tension or more about comfort, you should come see me.
I’ve worked with guys good with comfort who’ve needed to git gud with sexual tension, and guys who were already grounded in their sexual energy but have needed to make their girl feel more comfortable, or risk losing her.
AND with guys who’ve sucked at both. Not anymore after working with me though…
Whatever blind spots of yours you’re blind to around women…
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