I’ve made this “nice guy” mistake many years ago, and maybe you’ve made it too.
Getting dating advice from the gals.
You know what the ladies say when you come to them for girl advice.
“Just be yourself” (if you’re hot, cool, and fun)
“Do something nice for her, like buying her flowers” (when you’re a hot guy she’s in love with)
“Let her come to you” (if you’re a hot guy who she’s competing over with a bunch of other girls)
“Be a good listener” (when you’re already fucking her and also a hot guy)
“Surprise her with a date night” (when she already craves your cock)
If you understand how women work, then you know…
This is the COMFORT they want from guys who’ve ALREADY created ATTRACTION. Either women have a weak conscious sense of what turns their sex on, or they’re programmed to withhold this information and sexually select men who JUST GET IT, not men who need masculinity and dominance explained to them.
When a girl gives you dating advice, she’s telling you how she wants a guy she already finds hot and attractive and fuckable to treat her, not how to be that hot, fuckable guy.
Even female dating coaches. Most will give you a watered-down understanding of your own masculinity, or they’ll just teach you how to be a more comfortable pet for a post-prime woman looking to settle down.
No girl will ever tell you this, but if girls were HONEST about what turns them on, their dating advice would be more like:
“Look me in the eyes and make me feel like you’re dominating me”
“Talk to multiple girls and don’t make me your only option” (until we’re in a relationship)
“Touch me as much as you want till I make you stop”
“Be in control of your emotions and don’t be a puss”
“Get in the gym and get strong”
“Make fun of me and tease me”
“Tell me what to do. Gently dominate me and give me orders.”
“Don’t take me too seriously. Treat me like a plaything. Treat me like I’m a little girl you’re pushing around on the playground.”
If reading this last little bit turned you on… But made you feel misogynistic, like a pervert, ashamed of your sexuality, like a creep…
Then we have work to do. IN COACHING.
Learning how to give a girl comfort is necessary, and most modern men have a decent understanding of how to go about it, but as we went over recently, COMFORT is only half of the attraction equation. And women will only ever give you advice on how to build that. They’ll never bring light to the other half, which is TENSION. That’s a man’s job. Only a man can teach you masculinity and tension.
AND MOST MODERN MEN AREN’T MASCULINE. THEY CAN GIVE A WOMAN COMFORT, BUT THEY ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LACKING IN TENSION.
If I had a shot for every time I’ve seen a modern “man” talk to a modern “woman” with close to 0 moxie in his voice in the past week, I’d be getting my stomach pumped in the ER tonight.
Gentlemen, the only way you will discover your masculinity and your capacity for TENSION is by learning it from a man, a masculine mentor who already GETS IT. You can’t just be reading self-improvement content and books about masculinity and expect that to be the end-all-be-all of your masculine self-development.
Look, I didn’t always GET IT myself.
When I started on my journey of masculine self-development, my own masculinity was unintegrated. I thought being a man was all about having strong muscles, being an angry dick sometimes, and not letting yourself feel your emotions.
I had work to do.
And I couldn’t have sharpened my manhood without the men in my life who taught me how to be a man and express all the dimensions of myself as a masculine man – a gentleman, a savage, and a ray of sunshine.
These were real-life mentors who I had in-person, direct relationships with, not online gurus. Not guys you’d find lurking around the manosphere.
If you’re already strongly grounded in your masculine energy, awesome. We’ll work mostly on integration and game. Comfort too, if that’s applicable.
But if you just feel like a guy around the ladies, not entirely like a man, it’s time for me to teach you TENSION. I’ll be the masculine mentor you didn’t have growing up.
Maybe dad was cold, emotionally distant. Or he was present but weak-spirited. He thought bringing in a paycheque was his highest purpose as a husband and a father. And perhaps you’ve grown up in good times that have created weak men, and been a victim of this programming.
So ask yourself what kind of man you want to be.
The one who’ll stay where you’re currently at the rest of his life?
Or the one who’ll humble himself, work with the Fantastic Mr. Foth, and reveal all the dimensions of himself he’s forgotten?
You can only dominate a girl as much as you’ve dominated your own soul.
And that dominant instinct is within all of us. Some just have it more buried than others.
So when you’re ready to master masculinity, female nature, and whatnot…
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