The vibrations of the dating world

Everyone above a certain level of consciousness intuitively understands energy, but not all of us can put it into words.

Some people’s energy is cold, dull, discomforting. Either they’re barely visible in a crowd, low-energy and hiding themselves away, or they’re smart and present, but they smell like a snake. Even if what they’re saying and doing makes logical sense, you’re uneasy and on guard around them. You can tell they’re looking for a way to run you over if it means preserving their ego.

Other people are more vibrant, warm, giving, ALIVE. They’re pleasant to be around. They make you feel better, more empowered just being around them and hearing them talk. They’re honest and giving and open-hearted. A simple small-talk conversation with them can make you feel refreshed and joyful for the rest of your day.

Most people are in the middle. They’re not malicious nor super vibrant. They’re good people at their core and they add value to their surroundings, but they have fears and intellectual blind spots holding them back from expressing their fullest self. They fulfill their jobs, their functions, and their roles, but don’t strive for anything greater.

What causes this difference in energy? In VIBRATION?


Our world is comprised of energy fields that manifest as material phenomena. In the physical realm, these energy fields show themselves as sequences of cause-and-effect. In the intellectual realm, they’re principles and explanations and stories of how the world works.

In the spiritual realm, these events and ideas are all one energy field. This field splinters itself into the other two realms and appears to be coincidental things randomly running into each other. When really, this energetic alignment is simple Fate.

Our emotions are how our body processes and identifies these energy fields. Our feelings are both cause and effect of what we experience in life.

We naturally connect and VIBE with people on our level of consciousness.

People don’t accidentally unite, and you don’t accidentally meet them. They’re not even individuals, from a higher perspective. They’re experiencing the same energy fields, the same attractor patterns, which naturally draw them together into groups, couples, crowds, and friendships. They’re already part of the same story, even before they meet each other and the story plays out.

Knowing this, your dating life is about to get a whole lot smoother.

But before we put this wisdom about energy into practice, let’s put it into theory.

You can measure energy fields numerically. This is only one way of seeing the world, yet this scale has been extremely useful to me, and hopefully it will be the same to you:

Energy from 0-100 is shameful, apathetic, grieving, fearful. People in these fields have let their life go to shit, and see little hope in things getting better. They have no power and no agency over their life. Their existence is at the whim of everything supposedly oppressing them. They’re VICTIMS and nothing else. They are their trauma and nothing else. They live in the past and can’t remember the last time they were truly happy.

100-199: Here, you’ll find lust, anger, complaint, and pride. People in these fields have some agency over life, but it’s weak. They can only be strong if they’re taking from someone else. They try to gain power over the world through manipulation and status games – whoever’s different from them is a bad person, or simply inferior to them for whatever reason.

A vibration of 200 is the threshold of integrity. People in the low 200s are benign and useful, good people who create the practicalities of our society – buildings, tools, machines, food, services – systems that keep our world running smoothly. They work hard, they hang out with their friends, they start families, they go on vacation to escape life. People in the high 200s are more goal-oriented – interested in individual achievement, but still the practical creators of society, still bound by the system. This isn’t a bad thing. Everything that vibrates at or above 200 is beneficial to humanity, whether it’s mainstream or free-spirited.

The 300s are the domain of success and achievement. People in these fields care about setting goals, working hard, and working smart. Being a cut above all the rest, not in a prideful 190 sort of way. They understand that the more they self-develop and share their knowledge, the more the entire world improves. They seek success out of altruism and for self-development’s sake, not to simply crush the competition and win the spoils. These people are courageous, conscientious, and warm-hearted. They’re usually businesspeople, successful athletes, investors, and high performers in the working world.

The 400s are intellectual, rational, logical. People in these fields care about deeply understanding and explaining the world for its own sake, and creating something useful of that knowledge. Scientific discoveries that change the world, brilliant and complex inventions, and deep nuanced philosophy are all pieces of this field.

The 500s are the domain of love and spirituality. Here, a true connection to the Divine begins and God’s will becomes more important than one’s own. People in these energy fields care for seeing beyond the material and intellectual, into the spiritual. Beautiful art, music, stories, and films all come from this field.

600 and above, this is beyond the scope of what I want to achieve with this article.

Recommended reading for more nuance about these distinctions in energy fields: Levels of Energy by Frederick Dodson (one of my all-time favorite reads) and Power Vs Force by David Hawkins. Both of these books give fantastic explanations of the energy fields this scale measures.

Now let’s put the scale into practice. How does it apply to your experiences with women?

How to date low-vibration women

Dating in <200 energy fields is a perpetual power struggle.

VERY low-vibration girls are dead inside just like their male counterparts. Often drug addicts, sugar babies, porn stars, and severely damaged goods overall.

Higher low-vibration girls use their looks and social status and material femininity as weapons. These include cookie-cutter Instagram thots, hot girls with no personality or value besides being hot, vape-addicted club sluts who get interviewed by Youtubers on nights out about all the sexual shit they’ve done, and extremely anxious girls in every demographic. They’re often manipulative and hateful beneath their veneers, even when they’re superficially nice and wholesome.

Getting these girls is entirely about power games. You need to maintain your leverage in the power dynamic, get them anxious about losing you, or else these girls win… and they leave. On to the next mysterious “high-value” man.

Some “dating coaches” will teach you the exact power games that attract these girls, because these girls can be very hot! There’s a market for them! If you’re a low-vibration guy who’s consumed by his lust and his pride, these are the exact girls you naturally want! These are the girls who are part of your energy field!

If you have good looks and social status, and know how to dangle access to you like a carrot in front of a low-vibration woman, she’s yours!

If you’re a superficially high-value man who makes her feel small, that’s all she needs to be attracted to you. Low-vibration women are attracted to men who can control them. In many cases, they’ll seek out abusive or simply closed-hearted men, since women are attracted to powerful, in-control men. Low-vibration women WANT to be oppressed, they WANT to be hurt, they WANT to feel inferior to their man in every way. They crave the anxieties and dramas only a lo-vibe Machiavellian man can provide.

Ironically, these “power games” don’t actually give either party any power! They’re created from a field of fear, and the only “winners” in this field are people who can hide their fears and insecurities better, usually behind superficial looks and status. Or through victim-stories.

Life is a zero-sum game to these people. They can’t win unless someone else loses. They have so little energy and influence of their own that they can’t gain control over the world unless they’re taking someone else’s power or congregating in crowds or mobs.

You can find low-vibration people power-tripping at unimpressive jobs, climbing socially in systems where status only comes from how much attention you get, protesting in crowds, playing game after game in the dating world… And constantly complaining about life to whoever will listen.

Beneath a 200 vibration, your sexuality is a commodity. You ARE how you look. You ARE who you know. Your soul doesn’t matter. Your ideas don’t matter. All that matters is the power you have over access to your genitals (if you’re hot).

If you’re a high-vibration guy, you literally CANNOT date low-vibration girls. Not only are your energy fields misaligned, meaning that you can’t desire a connection with them in the first place, and you’ll likely be turned off by how superficial, uninteresting, selfish, and closed-off these girls are…

If you try to seduce a lo-vibe girl through openness and honesty, she’ll quickly close up and drop you. Not because she sees this as weakness, but because this is a much higher vibration than she’s used to. It’ll overwhelm her with energy, and she’ll interpret that as discomfort. Here, she’s encountering true power, not force, and it gets her insecure.

Lo-vibe girls often lash out and project their insecurities onto men, especially when these girls are unattractive and unfuckable. If they can’t get positive sexual attention from attractive men, then victimhood is the next best thing for them. They label guys “creepy” simply for talking to girls they don’t know. They view men as trashy, unsafe, and oppressive. Often, they actively seek out “weird” or “creepy” men, or create shitty dates just so they can have a victim-story to justify their existence, politically incorrect as this may be to say.

You don’t have to date these girls, obviously. Or even give them any attention.

There’s plenty of high-quality girls out there you’d have a better time with.

Mid-vibration: Where dating becomes FUN

Girls who vibrate in the 200s-400s are fun to date. They’re exciting to be around. They have their own tricks, individualistic traits, and personalities.

Mid-vibration girls are attracted to guys who excite them.

You can’t power-struggle with a girl who has integrity and expect her to like you. She’ll rightfully see it as weak, insecure behavior, and decide not to engage with it. Or it simply won’t resonate with her and her attention won’t be so naturally drawn to you for it.

Girls who have integrity are turned on by you appreciating them, desiring them, and most of all, having FUN with them. Your power around this girl comes from giving her access to POSITIVE EMOTIONS.

These girls are content with their lives, bored at their worst, engaged and interested in all this world’s realms at their best. They’re looking for a guy who can light up their mundane life and take them on an adventure.

Story-telling, game, tension control, putting up an attractive persona, and being an overall non-needy, chill, fun guy can make-or-break a mid-vibe girl’s attraction to you. These girls are attracted to honesty, courage, and integrity. They’re attracted to guys who PROVIDE ENERGY, even if they don’t consciously realize this.

Activity dates, as well as simple “coffee + walking around checking out cool stuff” types of dates work really well with these girls, who want to have fun for different reasons than lo-vibe girls do. 😉

If you’re in shape, you do cool stuff with your life, you’re comfortable with tension, and you’re in touch with the animal within, these girls will be all over you!

Dating in mid-vibration energy fields is all about growing closer through fun experiences.

This is where lightly strategizing your dates and pulling the right moves at the right times is useful. You’re dating girls who have an abundance of energy, and keeping them around means maintaining YOUR abundance of energy, even if you’re freely giving it to the girl.

You don’t give yourself away too quickly nor kill the mystery and fantasy with such a girl, unless you want her to think you’re needy and boring. But what you DO give her to attract her, little by little, is genuine in a fun way.

The more positive energy and genuine emotional/intellectual connection you give to a mid-vibe girl, the more turned on she’ll be by you. (while appropriately pacing how much you give, of course)

These girls don’t solely care about what you have and what they have. They care for psychological attraction alongside biological attraction.

Mid-vibe dating still has its power games, but unlike in lo-vibe dating, this is a mutually empowering dynamic. It’s about who can GIVE the most energy, not about who can withhold it better. So don’t assume your looks, status, and overall social value don’t matter here. They still do. These things give you energy at any level of vibration.

Mid-vibe girls still want to be with good-looking, fit, high-status, valuable, masculine guys. Yet unlike lo-vibe girls, they want these guys to treat them well. To be men of character and integrity. To be positive and lighthearted, not controlling and domineering. Girls on this level of consciousness want more than just to be with a guy who’s hot and popular.

They want fun, engaging conversations. They want to create unique romantic stories with you. They want to feel like you’re mysterious and edgy AND a trustworthy, warm-hearted guy.

As you get to know a mid-vibe girl better, your minds open to each other more and more. You become more and more intimate as you spend more time with each other and make irreplaceable memories together.

You’re discovering each other as unique individuals and connecting through your personalities and all their rough edges, not just through your bodies and resources and labels. Though often, it’s all game, healthy and fun as this game is. There’s no deep soul-level draw to each other, and relaxing your game around the girl means losing her.

To a guy who’s dated purely in low-vibration realms, this may sound like BS, but believe it or not, there are plenty of women out there who are attractive, honest, brave, and genuinely interesting. If you’re not meeting them, it’s because your sex isn’t in energetic resonance with them. Above 200, you realize that no one gives a shit about your victim-stories, and that empowering someone else empowers YOU too. Healthy relationships begin at this vibration, even if they’re boring.

Plus, the higher you rise in vibration, the more INTERESTING the girls you attract get.

Below 200, the girls you’ll find are good for their looks and nothing else, dogmatic libby feminists, boring aggressive conservatives, and somewhat attractive anxious girls who play power games or simply close themselves off because they’re afraid of getting sexual with guys.

In the 200s, you’ll find girls on the conventional path. These ladies are good and giving at their core, but stuck in the mainstream, going along with the world instead of conquering it.

In the 300s and 400s, you’ll find more free-spirited girls who care for reaching their highest potential – bookworms, entrepreneurs, ambitious and intellectual women overall. They understand that you are where you are because of how you think, and if you were to change your thinking, you’d change your world. They’re great conversationalists with open hearts and open minds.

In the 500s and higher, that’s a topic for another article. 😉

For now, let’s focus on why you may be attracting women who make you miserable, and how to remove their energy from your life.

Why high-vibration men attract low-vibration women

You don’t exist on solely one level of vibration.

You have a core vibration, which makes up most of who you are, and you have pockets of other energies. These pockets can be useful if they’re above 200, or detrimental if they’re below 200.

A person vibrating at 590 will be unable to start a successful business and do the hard and smart work to make it real unless they have pockets of 300s energy.

I once had a close friend whose core vibration was in the high 190s, but he had pockets of 300+ energy that made him interesting and exciting to be around, despite his severe personality shortcomings. My core vibration was 295 at the time, which resonated with those high pockets of his, and I had a huge pocket of 190-energy that resonated with his core vibration. It’s interesting to understand why we became so close so quickly in hindsight.

(and I had pockets of 120-energy that led to me having a turbulent dating life)

I’ve met many girls who have integrity in every part of their self but their sex. They’re honest and open, then possible intimacy with a man comes into the picture, and they FREAK or become manipulative for self-preservation. I know a girl whose core vibration is a solid 300, she’s ambitious and interesting, but her dating life is still shite because she’s self-unaware about her pockets of lo-vibe energy.

And in my life, the main reason I kept myself safe from harm and rose out of my pit of nihilism during a season of my life where my core vibration was 80 (and thus, I was attracting all sorts of 80-level events and problems), was because I had pockets of 300s energy at the time that were warding off the possibility of my life being a total waste.


If you’re a positive guy who desires negative gals, it’s because you have pockets of negative energy in your energy body that are resonating with lo-vibe women.

You won’t stop desiring nor attracting these girls into your life, until you address these pockets and raise their vibration.

If you’re a man of integrity – who keeps his word, prioritizes self-development, and adds value to the world – yet you date women who lack integrity, who play games with you and drain the life out of you, or broken and anxious and closed-off women, here’s how to break the cycle:

You need to get bored of these women.

In esoteric words, you need to raise these lower pockets up to 200, the vibration of boredom and benign contentness.

In terms of psychology, you need to nourish your hurt attachment instinct. Shift your attachment style from anxious and/or avoidant to secure.

Energetically, otherwise good men are drawn to volatile or self-victimizing women because these women raise the energy of their lower pockets. If a man has a pocket of anxiety (100), then a woman who inspires lust (120) or anger (160) in him is actually raising the consciousness and energy of his buried wound. She’s giving him the life force he’s denying to cultivate himself.

(This works the other way around as well; If you have an energy that’s slightly higher than a woman’s, you can shift her energy upward too! You can even raise a woman’s vibration from beneath 200 to above 200 if you give her some 200s-energy and her soul consents to this shift)

Such men can get addicted to a woman’s dramas and chaos, even if they claim to hate it. Well buddy, if you’re so annoyed by it, why are you giving it energy and attention? This drama and chaos will persist until you get bored of it, and deny it your attention.

Take back power over your energy field.

The Reality you experience is a product of your levels of energy. Your consciousness shapes your surroundings more than the inverse. Everything you put your attention on, whether it’s out of desire or fear, eventually becomes part of your Reality.

So how do you take back this power?

Let’s talk about it in coaching.

My clients get quick results in the dating world and in their self-development. Not only because I teach them tricks and tactics that work…

But because I teach them how to get in energetic RESONANCE with the girls they deeply desire, and to move their vibration upward.

I’ll teach you how to access the energy fields that high-quality women inhabit, making your connections with them Fated, not forced.

It’s called SEXUAL ENERGY coaching for a reason.

When you’re ready to discover how to effortlessly generate and control more of your own energy, and improve your confidence + outcomes with high-quality women for it…

See me here.

– Ben

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