I wasn’t always like this.
I started with rock-bottom value in the dating world.
Below-average height for a guy (5’7″), unathletic, VERY skinny frame, major social awkwardness, losing my hair at 14 (high school was very fun!), no real talents or ambition.
Perfect place to begin my story.
Because if I started there, and ended up competent in the dating world, what’s stopping you?
OBSESSION got me from there to here. I was OBSESSED with understanding the dating world and all its nuances. If my old self had one ambition, it was being not so unfuckable someday. Teenage hormones will do that to ya. Cue late-night online dating advice binges. Cue testing it out and getting shot down every time.
Long story short, I had 0 dating life in high school. Partially cause of circumstance, partially cause of emotional avoidance, partially cause I was waiting till university to really put myself out there, in an environment where my superficial shortcomings wouldn’t matter so much.
Then uni came around, and something good happened: my dating life turned from nothing to a shitshow.
I could get a girl out on a first date – but not on a second.
I could sleep with a girl – but the sex would suck. And I rarely got laid anyway.
And let’s not get started on the drama and hurt feelings (usually mine).
I thought it was the end for me. That was the best dating life I could get. Turned out it was only the beginning.
I never lost sight of the strategy.
I wanted to know The Secret of the guys who did well with girls.
What were they doing right that I wasn’t?
Even if I was decent-looking, fit and jacked (enough to be borderline overweight in terms of BMI), kind, funny, smart, ambitious, creative, and high-status in my newfound social circle…
Guys who weren’t so put-together were getting girls as easily as breathing. That irrationality boggled my mind. Nothing about the dating world made sense.
So my dating life became an experiment.
What doesn’t work?
Which girls have potential?
Which ones should I avoid?
How much do looks/money/status/game really matter?
From then on, it became a series of meeting girls and getting nowhere, meeting girls and getting somewhere, sub-par hookups, kickass hookups, casual dating, moving through the social world and seeing how various circles lived their lives, learning about myself and others, living every red flag in the book, making mistakes and learning…
You get the point.
Now I’m here to help you.
Here’s what one of my clients has to say about me:
Ben gets to the root of dating issues. Think on this for a second. We’re biologically wired to seek out “mates” based on how well they fit some physical and emotional criteria. If you’re having issues getting girls, you’re not meeting those standards. The “red pill” crowd will tell you about all the things you’re saying wrong, and there’s a place for that kind of work, but the bottom line is that you have deeper issues you need to address.
Let’s flip things around. A beautiful, fit, and feminine girl shows interest in you. Does she need to do anything special to get you into bed other than make her interest known? Neg you? Use some special frame? “Deep dive” into your interests and passions? Of course not. It’s her you’re attracted to, not some series of actions and words she’s using to woo you. The key to leveling up your dating life is leveling up yourself.
Here’s the “bad” news: what Ben offers isn’t exactly a handful of cheap tricks that will instantly change your dating life with no effort required on your part. If you’ve been listening, you’ve probably already realized that the answers you’re looking for aren’t at the surface and they aren’t subtle behavioral shifts. The difference between you and the masters isn’t the little things; it’s the big things. Ben gets that and he’ll help you examine your holistic self and figure out what actions you can take to become the person that gets the results that you’re looking for.
The beautiful thing about this is a) it works and b) its benefits extend past dating. Ben sees all of this for what it truly is and I highly recommend that if you’ve read his work and his words resonate with you that you give his services a try.
What we’re all about here is…
1. Honesty, even if it hurts.
I’m not a drill sergeant or a therapist. I’m not here for “tough love” or to just sit back and ask basic questions.
However, I do demand accountability, courage, and honesty from the guys I work with.
There’s no growth, no spiritual upgrade, if you aren’t open to potentially harsh truths that’ll make you a better, more aware man in the long-run.
2. Holding ourselves to a standard.
We’re not here for “say this when she says this, do this when she does this, then you’ll hit her subconscious attraction switches and she’ll want to sleep with you” type of advice.
We’re a few steps above that.
Quality connections require quality values, and covert manipulation isn’t one of ours. We want ethical, healthy relationships with women that grow both parties.
Awesome women are only available to awesome men.
3. Loving and respecting women AND ourselves.
If you’re here, there’s a 99% chance you’ve been hurt by a woman. Or more likely, multiple women. Also a 99% chance you find something about yourself undesirable.
Let go of any pessimistic, zero-sum, “all women are like that” thinking.
There’s plenty of smart, kind, amazing women in this world, and any resentment towards women will only drive the cooler ones further from you.
You’ll never have a fulfilling dating life if you operate through fear and shame.
That means seeing women holistically – discerning what kind of person she REALLY is, discerning whether she’s a good fit FOR YOU.
And seeing yourself holistically. You’ve made some major errors in your life so far (everyone has!), but…
4. Personal growth, understanding that pain and failure are NECESSARY for growth and achievement, not simply a side effect of the process.
The biggest picture of getting good at dating goes beyond getting laid, beyond finally finding a girl you enjoy being with.
The greatest reward I’ve had on my journey through the dating world isn’t female. It’s the man I’ve become through it all.
I wish you that same growth.