About me and you

First, let’s talk about me. We’ll talk about you in a bit.

I’m Ben Foth, this guy right here.

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I’m a dating coach, obviously. And a damn good one. Here’s what one of my clients has to say about me:

Ben gets to the root of dating issues. Think on this for a second. We’re biologically wired to seek out “mates” based on how well they fit some physical and emotional criteria. If you’re having issues getting girls, you’re not meeting those standards. The “red pill” crowd will tell you about all the things you’re saying wrong, and there’s a place for that kind of work, but the bottom line is that you have deeper issues you need to address. 

Let’s flip things around. A beautiful, fit, and feminine girl shows interest in you. Does she need to do anything special to get you into bed other than make her interest known? Neg you? Use some special frame? “Deep dive” into your interests and passions? Of course not. It’s her you’re attracted to, not some series of actions and words she’s using to woo you. The key to leveling up your dating life is leveling up yourself. 

Here’s the “bad” news: what Ben offers isn’t exactly a handful of cheap tricks that will instantly change your dating life with no effort required on your part. If you’ve been listening, you’ve probably already realized that the answers you’re looking for aren’t at the surface and they aren’t subtle behavioral shifts. The difference between you and the masters isn’t the little things; it’s the big things. Ben gets that and he’ll help you examine your holistic self and figure out what actions you can take to become the person that gets the results that you’re looking for. 

The beautiful thing about this is a) it works and b) its benefits extend past dating. Ben sees all of this for what it truly is and I highly recommend that if you’ve read his work and his words resonate with you that you give his services a try.

-Eric R.

Now for what I have to say about myself:

I like to work out, train in martial arts, take photos, pet cats, tweet, meet girls, make videos, and write stuff.

That more or less described me 5 years ago, and it still describes me today.

What changed about me over the years wasn’t my tastes, as much as how I feel about myself and my life.

See, I used to be depressed and full of anxiety. I thought I was broken, that I was unworthy of what I wanted in my social life, my dating life, and my professional life.

Why was I so down on myself, you may ask?

That’s not the story I want to tell here. The worst thing you can do when you have a problem or an emotional wound is sit around and bitch about it.

What matters is: I got better, which was no accident. I got better because I made myself get better.

The story I want to tell is about a guy who’s seen every level of the dating world first-hand.

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The life of an inexperienced, socially awkward outcast who didn’t understand people.

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The life of a cool, popular kid who people couldn’t get enough of.

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Living with terrible mental health.

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Embodying the mental health of a confident winner.

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A guy who’s been weak.

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A guy who’s been strong.

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A guy who’s been drained of masculine energy and full of it.

Most guys only have one or the other. They only know what it’s like being a winner, or they only know what it’s like being a loser, especially with the ladies.

They only know the world of an attractive man, or they only know the world of an unattractive man.

They only know the purposeless emptiness of a sexually deprived man, or the purposeful vibrancy of a sexuality-embodying man.

I know both.

That’s why I’m here to level up your dating life, to help you make it what it could be, instead of leaving you to blindly figure ONE OF THE MOST VITAL PARTS OF YOUR LIFE out for yourself.

I can relate to guys in all positions of the dating world.

And I intimately know how malleable a guy’s attractiveness is, because I’ve lived all those potential changes to it!

I can give you a comprehensive understanding of yourself and the dating world, so you can lead yourself in your own dating experience instead of settling for your circumstances.

Because honestly, would you want go through life like I used to be? And like too many modern men sadly are?

Depressed? Feeling like there’s no point to being myself?

Anxious? Especially about whether other people approve of me?

Waiting for the “someday” where things magically turn around for me?

Disconnected from my masculine sexuality? Trying ANYTHING for sex or attention, but never filling that emptiness?

I doubt you’d look up to a guy like that.

Living as a strong, confident, masculinity-embodying man who gets his way with the ladies is much preferable to living as a weak, insecure, sexually deprived man who’s unnoticed or passed over by the ladies.

Most men aren’t one or the other. They’re somewhere in between.

Either they can get some girls, but something’s missing. They’re the partners their girls think they want, but those girls secretly crave a man who GETS IT more.

Or they don’t get girls, but they could do so much better. They don’t know their true potential.

I was the latter for much of my life. Some guys I’ve worked with are the former.

So what changed?

To build my competence in leveling up your dating life, I leveled mine up.

I dated girls I liked but who didn’t like me as much. I dated girls who liked me but who I didn’t like as much. I had some regrettable hookups. I had some kickass hookups. I observed my peers in their fragile, unstable relationships that seemed normal to my inexperienced past self. I lived every red flag in the book, and got some experience with healthy, secure connections.

In early 2017, my dating life was a mess. I dated some girls, but I’d never get past a first date with one. I had no damn clue how to get one to sleep with me. And most of the time, I’d have a date set up with a girl, which I’d be super excited for, BUUUT all those girls would flake.

I was frustrated. I tried absolutely EVERYTHING to be successful in my dating life, but nothing worked.

Showing off my talents and achievements? Didn’t work.

Being nice and respectful? Didn’t work.

Negging and being an asshole? Didn’t work.

Having social proof and presenting myself as a fun, socially valuable guy? Didn’t work.

Pickup lines, conversational tactics, and Alpha behaviors?

DIDN’T.

WORK.

“That didn’t work. Nothing works,” my pathetic past self thought. “Maybe I should just give up. I’m innately undesirable. No girl will ever want me.”

Then I dated a girl who was high-quality even by my current standards, AND actually wanted more of me. I still strongly remember my “what the fuck just happened?” moment when I FINALLY got a girl to stay interested in me after a first date.

Then I slept with two attractive girls in the same week. And they came to me! I wasn’t the one begging or bargaining with them!

Sometimes, you don’t know what’s possible until you live it.

The truth clicked for me. Having a successful dating life isn’t about the words you say, the value you display, or the behaviors you affect. It’s more holistic than that.

It’s not about any one thing, more about how all the parts of yourself and your life fit together.

It’s simple and complicated at the same time.

It’s blunt and nuanced at the same time.

And learning to be successful in dating is possible for any guy who’s willing to do what it takes.

Want to know what I know?

Read the blog.

Read my newsletters.

I write all that content just for you. Enjoy!

Now let’s talk about you.

You’re probably not here because you have way too many beautiful girls ready to be yours. But if you do, awesome! It’s not just about being attractive though. It’s about knowing how to properly capitalize on your options when you’re a man of value.

Different guys have different problems in their dating lives, so my coaching will be tailored to your unique situation.

Some guys struggle with choosing a girl from their options to get closer with. Some guys struggle with getting even ONE girl.

Some guys could use some work on their attractiveness, to say the least. Other guys attract girls just by being themselves, but mess things up or don’t know how to capitalize on their opportunities.

Some guys want a healthy, secure, committed relationship with one awesome girl. Other guys would rather play the field and balance multiple girls instead of settling down.

Some guys date nothing but unhealthy, unstable, insecure girls. Other guys envy them because at least they’re dating someone!

Some guys have trouble finding a girl who wants to have sex while they’re only casually dating. Other guys have trouble finding a girl who wants to wait to have sex.

Diverse guys have diverse problems, and I’m here to solve them all!

Now let’s talk about what you should expect if I take you on as a client.

To summarize it in one word: Empowerment.

Because too many guys live the opposite: Sexual shame, blindness to intersexual dynamics, not trusting themselves enough, anxiety and repression, feeling like they’re unworthy of masculinity or beautiful women.

They wish they could be a man without shame, who knows the dating game and wins it.

Then when they’re given the opportunity to improve:

“Isn’t all this stuff misogynistic? Men’s rights activist type of stuff?”

Not at all.

Here, we’re all about loving women AND ourselves.

We don’t want to feel like we’re manipulating them into anything. The dating advice that preaches inauthenticity and covert manipulation is low-class. It won’t get you a girl who’s anything more than mediocre and damaged.

To attract high-quality, loving, giving women, you have to be on their level of being. There’s no other way. We’re not here to fake being that type of man. We’re here to learn to ACTUALLY BE that type of man, so our interactions with the women we deserve become natural, smooth, and fulfilling for both parties.

“I don’t need a coach. I’ll just figure it out on my own.”

Let’s say you buy a guitar, never having played before. Would you become a better guitar player just messing around with it and trying to figure out all the chords on your own?

Or would you be better off hiring a guitar teacher, who’ll show you what to do, what not to do, and how it all works? Who’ll give you real-time feedback about what you’re doing right and wrong?

Or let’s say you’re weak and unhealthy and you want to get in shape. You could trial-and-error your workout routine and your diet for slow results.

Or you could hire a personal trainer who’ll immediately show you the best ways to train and fuel your body. Who’ll give you real-time feedback about what you’re doing right and wrong?

Coaching is one of the most valuable assets you can have in any domain of your life. Why go it alone when you can do it with guidance and support from someone who knows it well?

The world’s finest athletes have coaches.

The world’s finest musicians had to learn from someone.

The world’s finest businesspeople have their mentors.

And if you want a dating life that’s high above mediocrity, a coach like me can easily take you to levels you’d have a tough, if not near-impossible time getting to on your own.

“I’m sick of the pickup artists’ inauthentic bullshit. Isn’t this the same thing? Why should I pay for this?”

This service isn’t cheap, but it’s worth the money because I’m not just teaching you pickup lines and routines.

I’m here to help you transcend EVERYTHING holding you back from having the dating life you could have: baggage, limiting beliefs, inexperience, bad past experiences, lack of understanding, lack of direction.

This isn’t learning to be a pickup artist through memorizing lines and routines, or through taking prescribed self-improvement advice.

This isn’t all about changing the superficial things. It’s more about recognizing the machinations of yourself and women, so you can make more informed, healthy decisions in your dating life that end up making both you and the women in your life much happier people.

We don’t do thinly-disguised bargaining here. We want girls who freely choose us, who adore us, and who make us happier, not girls we have to bargain with to MAYBE get some mediocre sex from.

This is learning to be THE MAN. This is about letting go of the false stories society wants you to believe, seeing male/female dynamics for what they truly are, and having a dating life built on growth and virtue, not impulse and degeneracy.

I’ve said enough.

Are you in?

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